And it really, really hurts
by nainachica
Summary: Henry's jealousy is awakened when he sees Catherine flirt with a Scotsman at the party. As he confronts her about it, he unravels the delicate threads of their marriage, compelling both Henry and Catherine to reveal their true feelings to each other. KEEPING THE M RATING FOR CHAPTER 19. READER BEWARE!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: All this is written more like a scene from the show rather than a chapter from a novel. I like to imagine Megan Follows and Alan Van Sprang acting all this out. It's all supposed to be a little choppy, like real conversations. This is supposed to start around Episode 17, Liege Lord. I wanted to see where it would go if Henry caught Liam flirting with Catherine. I also ignored the whole Henry is King Crazy(no)pants part.**

(Catherine) "Henry, let go of my hand! Henry, stop! HENRY!" Catherine struggled to free her wrist from his grip as he dragged her from the Throne Room to his chambers.

Henry tersely dismissed everyone from his chambers and slammed the door shut behind them.

(Henry) "Ah my Queen, did you enjoy yourself?" His biting sarcasm unable to contain his anger.

Catherine straightened herself, and haughtily replied, "Quite a bit actually. So much in fact, I barely noticed the late hour."

(Henry) "How nice! Lucky are those who can enjoy such carefree merriment." Henry turned his back to her as his anger climbed. "You were having so much fun with those Scots that that was all I saw when I walked into the room."

(Catherine) "Really? Then you must have been really happy to see that I wasn't going to bother you at all tonight. Without me to worry about, you must have enjoyed yourself quite a bit with that kitchen whore, or Kenna, or some other plaything," she countered, feigning apathy.

(Henry) "Of course I did! Wine, women, and the world at my feet. What more can a man want? It was amazing. It reminded me of my bachelorhood. What a free bird I used to be! I miss those days," he spat.

(Catherine) "What's there to miss about those days, Henry? It's not as those you aren't living like a bachelor still. We may be married, but you are in no way bound to me. Our relationship has never stopped you from being a 'free bird.' You continue to do as you please every night. In fact, I much prefer not spending my nights with you. It works better for me actually."

(Henry) "What do you mean?" He was usually good at ignoring her taunts, but tonight they were getting to him, particularly because of what he had just witnessed.

(Catherine) "Simple, I sleep much more comfortably without you by my side." Catherine's face registered a faint smile, set in place and entirely an act.

(Henry) "If you are so comfortable in my absence, then I will make sure I avoid you at all times. That way you can continue your merriment all day."

(Catherine) "How considerate of you, Henry! At least one annoyance in my life will be removed." Her smile remained plastered on her face, but her eyes darkened.

Henry spun around and took a few steps toward his wife. "Oh! Of course! Why don't you just come out and say it? Say that my very existence irritates you."

This was it! Catherine could not placate his petulance any more. She stepped toward him in defiance. "What is your problem, Henry?"

(Henry) "YOU! You are my problem…And I am your problem," he shouted.

(Catherine) "When did I say that, Henry? When did I ever say you are my problem?" Her anger began to get the better of her.

(Henry) "You didn't need to say it. You don't ever need to say anything. In fact, your real problem is that you never say exactly what you're thinking. But what you do…your actions reveal exactly what's on your mind."

(Catherine) "I wish…I wish you knew what I think. But no, you can't see anything or anyone but yourself. Do you ever care about other people's feelings?" Catherine's voice now began to rise.

This woman maddened him so. "No, no, how could I care? How could I understand what feelings are? After all, I am an emotionless fool, right?"

(Catherine) "Exactly! Congratulations on finally realizing it!"

(Henry) "Of course! I should have realized it a long time ago. When I asked you to stay with me the other day – whatever I said to you then – it was clearly devoid of any feelings. I was only doing that out of some obligation as your husband, right?"

Catherine's voice matched his. "Oh! So you admit you were only fulfilling your obligations till now."

(Henry) "Obviously! What did you think? That I was getting emotionally attached to you? You better reassess your twisted misconceptions."

(Catherine) "Please! I have no misconceptions about you. I know very well that whatever you do for me is only to fulfill your duty or responsibility. I'm not crazy enough to tangle myself in an emotional relationship with you."

(Henry) "I am so happy to hear that! I am so happy to hear that you have no emotional attachment to me, no expectations of me. Really, I am very happy to hear that." He paused for a moment, softening a little but still angry. "You know what, for a moment I did get emotional. For a moment, I started having feelings for you. That's why I tried to rekindle our relationship. But now I know all that was for nothing. Now I know that everything I do for you, all that I owe you is only out of duty or responsibility. I am so happy to hear that you don't expect anything from me."

(Catherine) "Why didn't you tell me earlier that you were going to be so pleased to hear this? If I had known, I would have told you a long time ago that I never expected _anything_ from you!"

(Henry) "If we have no expectations from each other, then why maintain the farce of this relationship? We don't share a bed any more. Why even bother sharing a home?"

(Catherine) "Exactly my point! That's what I've been thinking too. When you are happy in your space and I am happy in mine, then why even bother discussing this? We should just stay away from each other!"

(Henry) "I could not agree with you more. We should stay away from each other. If everything about me irritates you, if you hate everything about me, then why bother at all?"

(Catherine) "My thoughts precisely! I am leaving. I am going to my chambers, Henry!"

Catherine took a defiant step forward, toward the door.

(Henry) "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You don't have to go anywhere. You can stay right here in this castle. I will leave for Diane's house in the country. _I_ will leave! _I_ will take all my belongings and leave forever. You will be able to completely forget my existence. That way there will be no Henry – and no problem for you. Okay?!"

(Catherine) "Not okay! This is your castle, your court, your country. You can have it! _I_ will leave."

(Henry) "This is no longer my castle or my court. It used to be mine until you came and undermined and circumvented me. You are Queen of France only because of me. You wear this crown because of me."

Henry grabbed her crown out of her hair, sending her delicately coiffed hair tumbling down her shoulders. Both Catherine and Henry were too angry and too focused on their battle to even notice her curls this time when not-so-long ago this very action had brought them together.

(Henry) "But you continue to challenge my rule at every turn. You always subvert me whether it comes to matters of state or simply the décor of this place. Even if I leave for just two days, you change everything around here!"

(Catherine) "Oh! So you actually notice the changes!" She launched sarcastically. "I thought you didn't notice anything I did! Don't worry, Henry! If I can change things in two days, surely you can change them back in another two. I am going to my chambers."

(Henry) "FINE LEAVE!"

(Catherine) "I AM!"

Catherine stormed past Henry, but she was stopped a few steps before the door.

(Henry) "Wait! Don't you want to know when your next rendezvous with that Scot should be?"

(Catherine) "What?" She turned to face him.

(Henry) "Don't you want to know when I will be out of sight again so that you can meet with your lover? [seeing Catherine's perplexed furrowed brow] What? Did you forget? _I_ didn't forget. You were quite taken with him at the party tonight, weren't you?" Henry stepped forward, backing Catherine against the wall. "You were practically hanging on to him as you two spoke."

Catherine let out a loud sigh, exasperated. "Yes, you're right. I want to know when I can meet him again. Tell me… tell me."

(Henry) "I knew it! I knew it! That's the kind of woman you are. You know, a strange thought has come to me. When you were fighting for your life, when we shared our moment together, you were not bothered by anything I did. Everything I did was perfect then! But now that your life has been saved, everything I do is wrong according to you. When you needed a moment of comfort, you wanted me. But now you want that lowly Scot!"

(Catherine) "Henry, stop!"

(Henry) "Why should I stop? Now that you are safe again, I am suddenly unfit for you. So don't worry! Don't worry at all, darling. Whatever you want, I will give it to you. I will arrange everything for you…for your pleasure. Just tell me. What do you want? A nice romantic evening with him? I'll arrange it. And why just dinner…I'll even have a nice room ready for the two of you…"

Catherine could not control herself any longer. She pushed Henry away from her, screaming "STOP IT! STOP IT!"

An unsettling, torturous silence engulfed them for a minute.

(Catherine) "What happened? Are you troubled that your wife is paying attention to another man?"

(Henry) "YES! Yes, I am troubled."

(Catherine) "Why? You can treat your wife as you wish? You can ignore me and humiliate me and shame me and threaten my life, my family. But as your wife I must always behave properly?! Why didn't you have a problem when you flaunted Diane and Kenna and all your other whores before me? Why didn't you have a problem when you threatened to behead me? Why weren't you troubled when you spent so many nights away gallivanting around town with other women while I was alone? You weren't bothered then. Why do you have a problem now?"

(Henry) "What difference did it all make then? What difference did it make to you? You didn't care! You didn't once show concern that I was away. Did you ever once ask me where I was?

This is not the first time you have indulged the flirtations of other men. Not once, not twice, you have done the same thing countless times. I know our marriage isn't perfect. I know I am not a perfect husband, but do you have to flaunt your dalliances in my face, in front of _my_ court."

Catherine scoffed at his hypocrisy.

(Henry) "And there you are clinging on to every word that Scot said. Do you know how bad I felt? Do you care? If you don't care about me, why should I care about you?"

(Catherine) "_I_ DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU?!" She closed the distance between them. "_I_ don't care about you?! What did you think? That I am happy being alone? Let me tell you Henry, those nights that you were away, I didn't sleep a wink, not for a single second. Nostradamus had to make a special potion for me to get any sleep…to allow me to stop thinking about you for one moment so that I can finally rest. I lay awake every night awaiting a word from _you_. I was hoping you would come to me… to talk to me, to spend time with me, to ask me how I was…if I was happy or not…if I was okay or not…

BUT NO, no message, no visit, nothing from you. Even as I lay in my bed, my eyes would be fixated on the door. Every sound, every rustle would make me think that you had come so that I could ask you how you were…so that I could share your triumphs and your burdens… Dawn would come, but you wouldn't. WHY? WHY WOULD I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOU? Because I was worried about you. I was worried when you didn't come to me, when you weren't speaking to me. I desperately wanted to hear _your_ voice, see _your_ face.

Just because you saw me laugh and smile at the party tonight, does not mean I was enjoying myself. What did you say? That I was paying attention to somebody else at the party? I was _always_ focused on you. If you want, I can give you an account of every moment you spent at the party. I can tell you how many pastries you ate, how many glasses of wine you drank, how many times you laughed, how many times you were irritated, how many times you looked at me, how many times you looked away, everything…everything. And you're saying I was paying attention to someone else?!

What do you think? I am the kind of woman who wants and enjoys the company of other men. YOU WILL ARRANGE A MEETING WITH HIM FOR ME?!"

As the tears began to form trails down her face, Henry stood shocked, silent. He could trade barbs and threats with his wife. He could berate her and argue with her. But he could not see her cry. He could never stand to see her cry.

(Catherine) "You know what your problem is, Henry. You understand exactly what you _want_ to understand. For you, the truth is exactly what _you_ see. THAT is your problem! You saw me laugh and smile with another man tonight, but you didn't see that I am wearing these earrings you got me on our first anniversary because tonight's the night we first met those twenty-something years ago. You see the furniture I move around, but you don't see the portrait of the two of us that still hangs in my bedroom…the one you painted for me. For whom do I do these little gestures? You see when I accept a small token from someone else, but you don't see what my eyes have been trying to tell you for years. You see that I was flirting with that man, but you don't see _why_ I was flirting with him. YES, I was flirting with him. YES…not because I wanted his attention, but because I wanted _yours_. I was craving _your_ attention.

_YOU_ WILL ARRANGE A RENDEZVOUS WITH HIM FOR ME?! IS THIS WHAT YOU THINK OF ME?!"

As she wiped away her tears, Catherine's voice grew softer and slower.

(Catherine) "And see what I got in return for caring about you so much. Neglect. Misunderstanding. What do you think, Henry? That I was noticing someone else? You know what my problem is?! THAT I CAN'T _SEE_ ANYONE _BUT_ YOU. If there is anyone in my mind, in my sights, in my very breath, then that is _you_, Henry…only you. THAT IS MY PROBLEM! You think I was noticing someone else? Ever since we met, ever since I came to France, what have I done other than notice you…pay attention to you? I notice the little sparkle in your eye when you are happy. I notice how you clench your jaw when you are angry. When you lie, you avert your eyes. When you blush, your ears turn pink along with your cheeks. That's what I've noticed. Every little thing about you. How you hold your sword, how you greet your friends, how you dress, how you walk…THIS IS WHAT I NOTICE ABOUT YOU. How you slump into bed when you are tired, and how you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow, and how your chest rises and falls as you sleep…THIS IS WHAT I NOTICE ABOUT YOU."

Catherine clenched Henry's lapel, tears streaming down her face. She clung to him desperately, searching for answers in his face. He couldn't help but think for a moment that she looked beautiful so vulnerable, so unguarded, with hair tousled and disheveled. To him, she looked perfect.

A moment passed, and then Catherine sighed, "Your flirty charm, Henry. Your flirty charm… I should have a problem with it, but I even like that about you. I could not enjoy myself at the party tonight because you weren't by my side. THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T ENJOY MYSELF TONIGHT.

AND your damn impish grin. I know that means you are up to no good, that you have a new lady in your sights. I should hate it. But I even like that about you…I like that…I can't take my eyes off that playful, naughty grin…THIS IS WHAT I NOTICE ABOUT YOU…and you say I was paying attention to someone else?!

_I_ know the difference between when your heart beats in anger and when it beats in excitement. I love it when you lay my hand over your heart. When you seek me out for a conversation, for counsel, for companionship, that's when I feel like a queen - not when I wear some crown or sit on a throne. Do you know that when you gave me undivided attention after my last pregnancy, I felt on top of the world? Despite the loss of our daughters, despite my failed health, I felt some semblance of happiness because you were by my side, day and night. Those were some of the most beautiful days of my life. Do you know why? Because I finally felt like I belonged to you and you belonged to me. I stupidly believed that I was finally important in your life…that I was finally a _part_ of your life…but I was wrong…I was so wrong.

I started to expect that at some point you would tell me 'Yes, Catherine you are a part of my life. You are an important part of _my_ _life_. You are special to me.' But I forgot from whom I was expecting this. I was expecting this from you, Henry… King Henry…King Henry Valois of France…who can make enormous decisions for the country, but can't make the smallest admission about his life, about his wife …whose decrees can change the course of nations, but who is afraid to share the minute feelings of his heart...that KING HENRY. THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, HENRY…your fear…your fear…of rejection…of denial…the fear that stops you from sharing your true feelings with anyone…that is your problem…your ego, Henry…YOUR BIG, FAT, MALE EGO! How can King Henry go tell his wife that he loves her…that he cares for her? NO! And besides, it's just Catherine. She's not going to care. She doesn't need to hear 'I love you.' I was crazy waiting for you all this time. I was crazy pretending that I was not hurt, pretending to be okay with your behavior. I was crazy waiting for you to say it to me first.

But let me tell you. I'm not scared anymore. I'm not scared! Not of rejection…not of becoming a joke…I am not afraid to share my feelings with you. What do you want to hear? Huh? What do you want to hear? That I say it first? Will that make you happy? Will that satisfy your MALE EGO? Ok fine! I'll say it to you. I will say what you want to hear…

I LOVE YOU! I. LOVE. YOU!

I REALLY, REALLY DO!

AND IT REALLY, REALLY HURTS!"

Twenty-five years of pent up anger and heartbreak and sorrow and frustration came pouring out of her. As the hot tears stung her face, Catherine buried her head into her hands and crumbled into Henry's arms.

Henry stood shocked. He wanted to say he loved her. He wanted to say she meant everything to him. He wanted to say that while she challenged him, she also inspired him. While he battled her, he also fought _for_ her. He just wanted to do _something_, say _something_ to comfort her. But he stood paralyzed, as she sobbed uncontrollably in his arms.

Catherine only allowed herself a moment. She extracted herself from Henry's arms. In as calm a voice as she could muster, with tears still streaming down her cheeks, she said, "You know what, Henry. When I was younger, growing up as an orphan in Florence and then through my captivity, I never thought that there would come a day in my life when I would feel like a part of a family again. And then you came into my life. And I finally felt safe; I finally felt loved. I finally felt like a part of a family. From the day I arrived in France, you were my family; you were my whole life. You mattered more to me than anything else in this world. And I am not afraid to say that because my family and my love are my strengths. Today, I am not scared of your rejection. There used to be a time when I would look into your eyes and think, 'God, there is so much honesty, so much innocence in his eyes…please never let him change.' And though I don't think that anymore, I still believe that at heart you are still a little child. _You_ are still in my every prayer. God forbid we are separated, even then, trust me, you will always be first in my every prayer. My days will always start and end with your name. If I have one wish before I die, it would be to see some love for me in your eyes, albeit for just a moment…because I love you. I love you so much. Yes, I do. I love you a lot…[sobbing and to herself] why do I love you so much?

[She turned back to Henry] I was so proud to say that you are the man I love, the man I _chose_ to love, to respect, to place on a pedestal. But I was wrong, Henry. You know what I think now? My love, my respect – you don't deserve any of it. You don't deserve anything. You… don't deserve any of it…"

Henry, softly, calmly, mustered up a few words. He delicately tried to convince her. "Catherine, please, please listen…sorry…this is not true...I..."

Catherine, hurt and angry, screamed, "If this is not true, then what is?! Tell me who I am to you. Tell me what you feel for me. Tell me what place I have in your heart. TELL ME! _TELL_ ME!"

Henry stood there silent, unable to gather his thoughts and will himself to speak.

(Catherine) "You aren't going to say anything. I am certain you won't say anything because your ego will not allow you."

She stood before him wiping the tears pouring down her face. "Are you happy now, Henry? Is this what you wanted to hear? I made a mistake. I fell in love with you. Is this what you wanted to hear? Catherine de Medici loves you…and you don't give a damn about her. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"

Catherine desperately tried to calm herself. Taking a deep breath to regain her composure, she wiped her tears, and put on her mask again – shoulders back, chin up, jaw set. Her eyes were steely once more; the only give away being the streaks the tears had left on her cheeks.

(Catherine) "I am going to my chambers. I think we need our space from each other again…this time more permanently…I…uh…I'm leaving."

As she turned and walked out, Henry gingerly reached out, wanting to stop her but unable to make himself do so. He watched with sorrow and regret as she walked away, wishing he could take it all back – the years, the distance, the tears, the pain, the distrust. He wished he could go back and be that carefree young prince again with his new bride. But all he could do was stand there…heartbroken…just as he had many years ago…just as he had many years since.


	2. Chapter 2

Henry hadn't seen his wife all day. She had taken her meals in her chambers, and hadn't joined him in the Throne Room for this morning's audience. He knew she was in the castle, but he didn't know if she was avoiding him on purpose. After last night, he wouldn't have been surprised if she was staying away from him. In the early days of their marriage, before their love had gone sour, his days used to feel incomplete if he didn't see her. Though the past decade had changed that, he was suddenly feeling that same restlessness without her. All day he kept searching every room, every hallway for her – for just one glimpse of her. Why? Even he didn't know the answer to that. Perhaps he wanted some reassurance that she was alright; perhaps he wanted to win her back. His wife wasn't one to show anyone the cracks in her armor, especially not to him. Last night, however, her mask had unraveled, and somehow it had left _him_ feeling vulnerable. He should have stopped her as she walked out. He should have stopped her…reassured her of his love for her, convinced her that she was important to him, asked for another chance to rebuild their relationship. He should have said all that and more…but he didn't. He had let the silence between them become an impenetrable wall. Perhaps when he saw her today he could change that…perhaps he could change them...

Catherine could not face her husband. She had poured her heart out in front of him; she had opened her very soul to him – her scars, her tears, her sincerest hopes. But he had just stood there, not uttering a word. When they were younger, when she had trusted him completely and implicitly, she had left herself vulnerable and exposed. And he had ravaged her heart. They had been so happy for a while till the burdens of their marriage began to tear them apart. Ten years without a child – she had been distraught and terrified. She did everything in her power to conceive a child, hoping that would bring them closer together – but all it did was drive them apart. Then, Henry brought Diane back to court, all but officially making her his consort. And there she was, Catherine de Medici, Queen of France – the most powerful woman in the country – completely destroyed. The years only widened the distance and resentment between them till it seemed like taking any step toward Henry was the equivalent of jumping into an abyss. It was too late now. They were both too wounded, too scarred. Although she had revealed her true feelings to him last night, she did not allow herself to expect something good to come of it. On the contrary, she feared she had just handed him a weapon against her. Now, all she had left to do was pretend last night did not happen, to steel herself once again, and to avoid Henry for a bit while she regained her composure.

The court had been gossiping about the events of last night. The King had grown increasingly tense as he watched the Queen converse with one of Lord McKenzie's men. He had then dragged her to his chambers. Since he dismissed everyone there, no one knew exactly what happened between the two of them. But they did know that there had been shouting and terse words. And that when Queen Catherine had exited the King's chambers, her eyes were red, her cheeks were flushed, her hair was undone, and it seemed as though she had been crying. The court had waited in anticipation all day to see how King Henry and Queen Catherine would behave in one another's presence. Although it was not unusual for them to remain apart from one another all day – sometimes for days at a time – it was unusual to see King Henry surreptitiously glancing around for his Queen. What exactly happened between them?...

Catherine strode into the ballroom, resolute and armored like she always was. Henry knew that he would finally see her tonight; she would not miss such an important banquet in honor of the papal envoy – it would have reflected poorly on France and on the Medicis. As Catherine made her way to his side, Henry couldn't help but grin. She was back to her usual haughty façade, looking every bit a queen and completely unperturbed by anyone or anything around her, much less by him. He didn't notice the resignation and sorrow in her eyes until she drew closer to him. Only he could see that he had broken her, damaged her, possibly irreparably. All through the banquet, she played the part of the perfect queen – going through the motions, but never once meeting his gaze. She stood by him, but she was lost to him. At the end of the night, Henry offered Catherine his arm so that they may retire. He had hoped this little gesture would start bridging the distance between them.

"That won't be necessary, Henry. I am perfectly capable of finding my chambers myself." Catherine's voice was even as she tried not to betray her true feelings.

The court held their breath. They had just witnessed the Queen rejecting the King, and King Henry's anger was legendary. He did not take "no" for an answer, particularly when it came from women. Could his wife be any less?

"Catherine…Catherine…I…" King Henry did not appear angry, but he did seem unsure of himself. Had his wife finally tamed him, they wondered.

Ignoring Henry's calls, Catherine slipped out of the ballroom as sure as she entered, without so much as a cursory glance back to her husband. Henry paused for a minute – confused about whether he should follow her out or not. If he let her slip away now, it would be forever. They had always found their way back to each other, but this time would be different. And he could not bear the thought of losing her forever. Even when she was charged with adultery and treason, he was sure she would fight her way back. She always did…but this time was different. She seemed defeated and lost…lost to him…possibly forever. Henry quickly hastened behind her, catching up to her in the hallway that led to her chambers.

Catherine's pace slowed down once she was out of sight and out of earshot of the ballroom. She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh, recalling the events of last night – the things she said... the things he didn't say.

"Catherine…Catherine…please…Catherine, please. Catherine, stop. Listen to me. Everyone is already talking about our behavior last night. Please don't create another scene in front of people. Let us go to your chambers, please. Just come with me." Henry clasped her hand, and gently pulled her toward her chambers.

Catherine resisted tenuously. "Henry, what are you doing? I do not want a repeat of last night. I am exhausted. It's all over, now."

As soon as they arrived inside her chambers, Henry let go of her hand, and turned around to close the door.

Though they hadn't been dismissed, Catherine's servants and guards were too scared and confused to dare enter the room while the King was there. He seemed gentler somehow, but King Henry had always been mercurial, and it was not wise to test him. So, they slowly backed away from the door, giving the King and Queen privacy.

The room was bathed in a warm glow from the many candles and the fire dancing in the fire place. Catherine walked over to the window – her back to Henry – hoping the dark night would hide the truth in her eyes. She thought to herself that the cold wind reflected the coldness of her heart. This was the same window she stood at with regret after she had rejected him recently. It had been the right decision – had she agreed, she would have only been another notch in his belt. Even so, she regretted losing the chance to be near him again. Not any more…she didn't feel remorse any more. Henry had once said she had a black heart – she agreed with him now. Her heart had hardened, blackened, and it may never be salvaged again.

Henry stood there, observing her for what seemed like an eternity. He walked toward her slowly, slightly unsure of himself. "Catherine, how long will you stand there silently? For God's sake please say something."

(Catherine) "What should I say, Henry? What should I say? You have a problem if I say something; you have a problem if I don't say something...I have already said all that I had to say. And after all that you didn't say, there is nothing left for me."

Catherine's voice was soft, softer than it had been in years.

(Henry) "No, Catherine, you misunderstand me. I want to talk you about something very important. I want to talk to you about you and me."

(Catherine) "Why don't you let it go, Henry? We've talked so much already. There's nothing left to say between us. Besides, you are going to say what you think is right. I…I really don't want to talk to you about this anymore. There was a time when we could have solved our differences together, when we could have mended our family _together_. But it's too late now; our problems have become too big now."

(Henry) "Catherine, I admit I made a mistake. What do you want? Do you want me to apologize? I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. At least, listen to what I have to say… please. You see, if I don't say what I want to today, I don't know when and how I'll get the chance to say it ever again."

Catherine grew tired of this constant back-and-forth between them. She just wanted to end this conversation, end this night. She was drained; she just wanted to be alone and rest. Catherine spun around to face her husband.

(Catherine) "What do you want to say, Henry? I don't want to hear anything you have to say," she said in an irked voice. "I am in no mood to listen to you. Besides, like I said, you are only going to say what _you_ think is right, what _you_ think is the truth. So what's the point of you and me talking about this?"

(Henry) "Catherine, you are not understanding…"

Catherine cut him off, "Then, help me understand, Henry. You are going to stubbornly adhere to your beliefs, and I am going to stubbornly adhere to mine. If we say something awful each other in the heat of this moment, things are only going to get worse between us. Why deal with that? It's better if we just don't speak to each other anymore."

Catherine turned away from Henry again, fearful that her true feelings may be betrayed. She was so good at maintaining her mask around everyone, but somehow Henry always seemed to disarm her. She did not want him to see the real her in this moment.

(Catherine) "Besides, I made a mistake by sharing my feelings with you. I shouldn't have done that. It would have been better if we spent our lives believing that our marriage is just a political compromise…our relationship is just a compromise…I don't know what came over me, I don't know how I could have been so insane to have shared everything I felt, everything in my heart with you." Catherine voice began to crack; she was still hurting; she was still in pain. "I only feel bad that our family, our children suffered because of the tension and conflict between us. None of this should have happened, Henry."

(Henry) "Will you keep speaking? Or will you allow me to say something?!"

Catherine spun back to face Henry, irritated that she was having this same argument again.

(Catherine) "What do you want to say, Henry? That I am wrong and you are right? Isn't that what you want to say?"

(Henry) "No! I don't want to talk about who was right and who was wrong. I want to talk about us, the real us!"

(Catherine) "What do you want to say about us?! What is left to say about us, Henry?! Or do you just want to repeat everything once again? The same old things? That our marriage was just a political marriage? It was just a compromise? That I came and disrupted your life? Disrupted your rule? That's what you're going to say, right? I don't want to hear all this! I understand now! I won't interfere in your personal life, or in your life at all for that matter. And if my standing here in front you makes you want to talk to me, then I'll leave!"

Catherine started to storm out of the room. Henry was not going to let her go again; he was not about to lose her forever. As she walked past him, Henry turned around, and pulled her into his arms, kissing her passionately. No other women ignited such fire, such desire in him. Their last kiss may have momentarily rekindled their love, but it was all about business for Catherine, a calculation to save her life. But this time was different. He didn't want their lips to part; he didn't want to let her go. He could not remember the last time Catherine and him shared such a spark between them. It seemed as though time stood still, and Catherine forgot herself for a moment. She let herself get swept away by Henry and gave into him…but only for a moment. When she finally pulled herself out of Henry's arms, the drops of tears she had so desperately tried to hold back trickled down her face. Henry looked at her, confused and perplexed by the hurt he saw in her eyes.

Catherine pushed him away from her. "What are you doing, Henry?"

(Henry) "Quiet. No more talking. Now, you won't say anything. Only I will speak."

(Catherine) "So…so you only kissed me to get me to stop talking?"

He was baffled. What had he done wrong? What had he done to hurt her again?

(Catherine) "What are you trying to prove, Henry? That you are my husband and I am your wife, so you can do as you please with me?"

(Henry) "No, Catherine, I…"

(Catherine) "Please, Henry, just because I love you does not mean you have to love me back. I have accepted the reality that you don't love me." Catherine's voice began to falter, weakened by her pain and sorrow. "And trust me…I am completely fine with that. In any marriage, in any relationship, it's important for two hearts to become one. And if our hearts never meet, then none of this means anything."

(Henry) "No, Catherine, you misunderstand…"

(Catherine) "Please, I don't want any favors, any charity from you. Just because I am your wife and I love you, does not mean you have to play the part of husband and abide by your sense of duty. This is no longer part of your duty or your responsibility, Henry. _I_ am no longer part of your duty or responsibility.

If you ever want to touch me again, Henry, don't do it simply because I am your wife in name. But rather, do it because you really, truly _love_ me. And if you do not have feelings for me in your heart, then just leave it be…just leave it be."

Henry looked at her, confused how everything could have gone so wrong, how everything he did could have been so misconstrued. Why wasn't she listening to anything he was trying to say?! Catherine turned to leave again.

(Henry) "Catherine, stop!" He placed himself between her and the door.

(Henry) "Yes, it's true that I kissed you to get you to stop talking. What else could I do?! You weren't listening to a single word I said. You just kept talking and talking, without giving me a chance to say anything. When I try to say something, you aren't even willing to listen to me. What mistake did I make that has enraged you so? You are so consumed by anger that you can't seem to see or hear anything! Open your eyes, Catherine! Open your eyes and look at who is standing before you. The Henry before you today may not be the boy you married, but he is also not the same man you have battled for the last decade. Everything about me has changed since last night because of _you_! Within the last day, I have removed Diane and Kenna and every other woman in my life because of _you_! I have rediscovered my happiness because of _you_. I am willing to give my whole life up for _you_! I am willing to go to any length to make _you_ happy! A forty-year-old, stubborn, arrogant _king_ is willing to change his whole life around because of _you_! For God's sake, open your eyes. I have been restless all day because of you! I have been yearning to see you all day. I have been waiting to talk to you all day. I have been thinking about you _all day_. I wanted to come see you myself but my fear and my ego stopped me. Yes, you're right. I do have a big ego. And yes, I am scared! Yes, I'm afraid of you, of what I feel for you, of the relationship we share. How can I not be afraid? You are the only one that can truly break my heart. For the first time in my life, I feel so helpless. I can't understand what's happening to me. Obviously, I'm going to be scared! I'm afraid of rejection…I'm afraid of losing. I have only ever been victorious in my life, but now…now I'm afraid because you are someone I don't want to lose.

Last night, when you were talking to other men at the party, I could not stand it. I don't know why! I haven't been possessive about the women in my life, but with you…with you…I don't know why I am possessive with you. When I close my eyes, all I can see is your face. I DON'T KNOW WHY! When I open my eyes, all I _want_ to see is your face. I DON'T KNOW WHY! Why is all this happening to me? Why now? I don't know! I swear I don't know! But everything has changed. I have changed! Why? For you…because of you…"

Catherine was stunned into silence. Henry was right – he wasn't the same anymore. But could she trust him again? Could she let herself be vulnerable again? She wouldn't be able to bear going through this again with Henry. It would be best for the two of them to lead separate lives – fewer complications, fewer hassles, and fewer heartbreaks. Catherine took a moment to look into Henry's eyes, and then she stepped past him toward the door.

This could not be happening. He had tried so hard, so earnestly. She couldn't just walk away from him. He couldn't just let her walk away. Henry turned around and fell to his knees, frantically trying to stop her.

(Henry) "Catherine, don't go, please! I won't be able to live without you. I LOVE YOU, CATHERINE!"

Catherine stopped in her tracks, half-turned to glance back at him, and proceeded to the door. Henry's head dropped in dejection...in defeat. At the door, Catherine secured the lock and turned back around to her husband.

**AN**: God I love these two characters! I keep picturing Megan Follows and Alan Van Sprang in little sequences together, so I'm going to try and write as much of it down as possible. Some of it will be present time, and some of it will be the early days of their marriage. Please let me know if you guys want any particular scenario to play out!

LinaOso, Thank you for your review! Your stories inspired me to put this up. I am such a huge fan of yours!

Catherine Woods, Thank you so much for your support. So glad you liked!


	3. Chapter 3

Catherine remained rooted in her place – her brow furrowed, her eyes brimming with tears, and her breath slow. In that moment, in that silence, she didn't know what to do…her heart and her mind battled as she stood frozen.

Henry had not seen her lock the door. Believing she had walked out, he appeared defeated; he had finally lost…he had lost to her. And yet, Catherine was conflicted. She wanted so desperately to go to him, to accept his love, to embrace him. But that would mean giving herself up to him, and being at the mercy of his kindness. She could no longer settle for a life dictated by his whims and fancies; that would not do any more. And yet, her heart still yearned for him. Even if she stayed with him, the damage may never be repaired. Henry had always been fickle, so it was only a matter of time before he returned to his usual behavior. All these years, she had reconciled with being in the shadows of his life, but if she were to remain, that would have to change…and she did not know if Henry could change. She did know, however, that even though she _might_ not be happy if she were to stay with him, she would certainly be unhappy without him.

In that moment, she could turn around and walk out. Henry would understand. She would remain his wife, his Queen, but not his. She feared that if she stayed, she would never be able to trust him again…even he knew that. And what is a marriage – what is love – without trust? Last time she had left, he had come after her. Although at the time she believed he came to her out of love, the years had corrected that delusion. She understood now that he had only come to get her because of his duty and his pride. He had been more concerned about his reputation – how embarrassing for the future King of France that his wife had left him – than her heart. He had charmed her back to court then; he had won her over again despite her resistance. Today was different, however. If she left today, she wasn't sure he would come after her. Even though he finally realized her place in his heart, in his life, she wasn't sure he would chase her…not because he didn't love her, but because he loved her enough to let her go.

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It had been almost ten years since they were wed. So much had changed in that time. Catherine was no longer the innocent and terrified Caterina de' Medici, a fourteen-year-old bride for Prince Henry of France, second in line to the throne. Now, she was a hardened woman, resolute and determined to survive as the wife of the Dauphin of France. She was more sure of herself – more willing to make the sacrifices she had to. She had given up so many pieces of herself since she had first arrived that she barely recognized herself anymore.

Henry had also changed in those years. Catherine had accepted his flaws – his temper, his arrogance, his stubbornness. She had learned to understand him, to soothe him, to even challenge him. What she still hadn't learnt was how to keep his attention. As the years wore on, the two of them had grown increasingly frustrated, increasingly distant in their childless marriage. Henry had callously, nonchalantly brought his mistress back to court. Catherine had watched helplessly as Diane waltzed around the court, around Henry's life as though she were his wife, his queen. For all her power, for all her cunning, Catherine could do nothing but co-exist with Henry's favorite mistress. Had Catherine known earlier that Diane had been in his heart all along, she would never have given him her own heart to keep. It was too late now though; Catherine could not take it back any more. But while she was still in love with her husband, she was no longer infatuated by him.

Despite Diane's presence, all three of them knew that Henry still cared dearly about Catherine…and that irked Diane to no end. Diane understood when Henry had to share his bed with Catherine for reasons of state. She also understood when Catherine was by Henry's side as his consort. What she could not abide were the little moments of affection Henry had for Catherine – the way he looked at her, the way he leaned in to whisper to her, the way he placed his hand on the small of her back as he lead her out of a room. Diane knew that if Henry allowed himself, he could truly fall in love with his wife…and she could not allow that. The surest way to prevent that from ever happening, from losing his favor, had been for Diane to drive a wedge between the two of them. And she had done just that by using her influence to poison Henry against Catherine…

Henry stormed into the stables as Catherine dismounted from her horse. The sun was just starting to rise; she was surprised to see him there this early. She had hidden this ride from her husband from fear of his reaction. Catherine had secretly arranged a meeting with a visiting cardinal away from the castle. She had heard that Diane had been trying to use her proximity to Henry and Catherine's own lack of a child to leverage the legitimization of Henry's bastard son, Sebastian. This would mean Henry would have to annul his marriage and marry Diane, causing Catherine to lose everything – her title, her marriage, her safety. Catherine worried that Henry had found out about her machinations.

Seething with rage, Henry immediately ordered the arrest of the stable hand.

(Henry) "For his treachery against the Dauphin of France, ARREST this traitor Jacques."

The stable hand struggled to free himself as he was seized by the royal guards. "No, no, please no, Your Highness! I have done nothing wrong! My lady, please…please save me."

Catherine stood there, confused about the commotion and unsure about how she should react.

(Catherine) "Henry, this wasn't his fault. He isn't to be blamed. He was only following my orders."

Catherine lifted a foot to step toward her husband, but he raised his hand to stop her from moving forward.

(Henry) "May I ask what was so important that you saw it fit to hide from your husband and sneak out in the middle of the night to meet a stranger?" Behind his anger, Catherine saw flickers of hurt and betrayal, jealousy and possessiveness…perhaps he loved her after all…

(Henry) "Who was he? Have you taken a lover?"

Confused, Catherine shook her head slightly in denial. "A lover? No, I…"

(Henry) "You have betrayed me, wife!"

(Catherine) "Betrayed you?"

(Henry) "Yes! Diane had warned me about this."

Catherine composed herself, finally understanding the root of this.

(Catherine) "It isn't me, but Diane, who has betrayed you."

(Henry) "How can she have betrayed me? As my mistress, she has always been loving and honest with me."

(Catherine) "Perhaps that's the reason, I too have tolerated her. But the same Diane has tried to keep us apart. She has planted these vile seeds of doubt in your mind against me. What would you call that Diane, Henry?"

(Henry) "SILENCE! I will not tolerate another word against Diane."

With hurt in her voice, Catherine replied, "Just as you cannot tolerate a word against your precious Diane, I cannot tolerate allegations against my character and my honor." She let out a resigned sigh. "How unfortunate I am! How foolish! I had thought I found love, trust and happiness with you…How could I have been so wrong?"

Henry stood before her, still seething in anger with his jaw clenched. Catherine understood that nothing she said would convince him of her innocence.

In a determined voice, she asked, "Since I am accused of infidelity, of adultery, you may as well let me know of my punishment."

(Henry) "You will retire to the chateau in Amboise while these allegations are investigated."

(Catherine) "Exile…" she breathed out. "Since love must be based on trust, it would be best if I left."

(Henry) "Prepare the Dauphine of France for departure at once," Henry commanded. He then turned, and strode back to the castle.

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In that moment many years ago, Catherine had realized that Henry was never hers, would never be hers. In the middle of this bustling court, she was alone – completely alone and left to fend for herself. She realized that Henry would never support her, would never stand by her, and would never fight for her. She was his wife in name only, nothing more.

She resolved from that day forward to protect herself, and – if she ever had any – to protect her children. That was all she had in life. After her ordeal in Florence, she had realized that in order to safeguard herself from the big, bad wolf, she would have to become the biggest, baddest wolf around. But, coming to France, she had let her fear and love for Henry soften her. She vowed if she were to ever return to court, she would shed her naiveté.

In many ways, today Henry and Catherine found themselves reliving that discord from years past. But the stakes were much higher now, and neither of them was playing the game any more. Last time, they had almost killed each other. This time, if one of them walked away, both would be left for dead...hollow inside.

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Without bothering to change out of her riding clothes, Catherine had immediately taken a carriage to Amboise – she could not stand to be near Henry any longer. Though Catherine had stubbornly stayed at Amboise, determined not to reach out to Henry, her melancholy was not hidden. She had repeatedly found herself looking toward the road beyond the chateau gates, hoping that Henry would come to bring her back to court…but he didn't.

Catherine would later learn from servants, that Henry too had been disturbed by the turn of events – his face tinged with regret every time he walked past her empty chambers or when he absent-mindedly turned to her seat at the table expecting to talk to her. Questioning Jacques had revealed to Henry that Catherine had ridden to meet with a cardinal, not some lover as Diane had insinuated. And upon realization that Diane had abused his trust in her, he had sent her away to her house in Paris. Despite being unsure about how he would face her, Henry decided to go Amboise to bring Catherine back to court. He was convinced that she would accept his apology, believing that admitting his mistake would help their love grow.

It had been late when Henry arrived at Amboise, well after dinner. Catherine had already retired to her chambers for the night when she heard the familiar trumpet sounds heralding a royal visitor. She knew it was him, her husband, but she had no intention of greeting him. She was still seething, and no matter what he said, she was determined not return to court with him.

Henry sheepishly waltzed into her chambers. Not saying a word to her, he immediately addressed the servants, "Bring my things to the Dauphine's chambers. I will be staying here with her." Catherine maintained her silence, but the sudden peaked arch of her left eyebrow was sufficient to convey her discontent and continued anger.

She stood glaring as the servants brought in Henry's suitcases. "Leave the unpacking for tomorrow," he said as he dismissed them with a lazy wave of his hand.

Catherine sat at her dressing table and brushed her hair in silence as Henry threw his boots and coat on the floor. Coming up behind her, he placed his hands on her shoulders, and looked at her face in the mirror.

(Henry) "Won't you come back with me, dear wife?" he asked gently.

Catherine rose, turning to face him. She looked up at him even though she was standing now. "No, I'm not going anywhere!" she said defiantly.

She walked over to the bed, turned the sheets down, and prepared to sleep.

(Henry) "I have come to take you home, Catherine." Henry said earnestly, walking toward the other side of the bed. "Why this angry, aloof refusal still?"

(Catherine) In a calm and direct voice, she replied, "I will not go back to court."

Perhaps a different approach is needed, he thought.

(Henry) "It feels strange being here alone with you, sharing a bed, while you are this angry." He sounded amused; Catherine was not.

(Catherine) "It is strange." she responded matter-of-factly. "But I have a solution for this problem."

(Henry) "And what might that be?"

Catherine picked up the two largest pillows she could find and stuffed them under the covers in the middle of the bed, creating a divider between their two halves.

Henry let out a little sigh. "This is too harsh a punishment, Catherine. Now I won't be able to see my face reflected in your dreams."

She was not having any of his charm tonight. Turning around, Catherine pushed her slippers off her feet and sat down on the bed.

(Henry) "This is unjust!" The slight smile remained on his face. She ignored him.

(Henry) "Catherine…Catherine…" he said imploring her to assent.

She lay down and pulled the covers up to her chest. Henry climbed atop the bed, looking at her over the wall she had created.

(Henry) "Catherine, I have expressed my regret."

Catherine turned to look at him "You can't win me by just expressing regret. But _you_ will never understand this." She closed her eyes pretending to try to sleep.

(Henry) "_I_ don't understand?"

(Catherine) "No, you don't understand." She sat up in bed, turning to him. "You only know how to conquer women, but you do not know how to rule their hearts."

(Henry) "What do you mean?"

(Catherine) "I mean that you have only conquered me through marriage. You have not won my heart." Catherine knew if she challenged his aptitude as a lover, he would actually work to win her, or at the very least to maintain his reputation.

Henry was taken aback, and slightly offended. "This is unfair! These past ten years I have tried to fulfill your every wish, respected your every demand…I have carried out all my duties as a husband!"

(Catherine) "If that were true, Henry, you would never have sent me away without hearing my side," she said calmly, but with a slight ache in her voice.

(Henry) "But I…" he paused, trying to find the words. "But try and understand…considering the circumstances…a misunderstanding was inevitable."

Catherine shook her head. Will he ever admit his mistakes, she thought. He was so stubborn!

(Catherine) "Fine! Even if the circumstances were suspect, you should have at least tried to find out what really happened. You want me to give you the benefit of the doubt now when you did not do the same for me? The truth is you are far removed from reality…you do not know who is with you and who is against you. You don't know how to win hearts. Because to do so you need to look into the minds, into souls of people…to discover the little pleasures and sorrows of their life…win their trust…become one with their very heartbeats. And the day you succeed in doing that, you will rule my heart."

Catherine lay back down, and shut her eyes for some rest. Henry lingered for a moment, before lying down, staring at the ceiling and reflecting on her words.

(Henry) "Catherine…" he whispered, sitting back up to look at her. She appeared to be asleep. In that moment, she took his breath away – she looked so serene, so blissful, so perfectly angelic. "Forgive me, Catherine…forgive me…" Henry whispered, before lying back down. Catherine slowly opened her eyes, smiled to herself, and fell asleep.

The next morning Henry awoke to a sun-drenched room and an empty bed; Catherine had risen a long time ago. He immediately put on his boots and coat, and searched the chateau for her, finding her in the courtyard by the garden. He was surprised by the sight he saw – his wife, the Dauphine of France, sword fighting with a guard. Instead of her usual rich dresses, she was wearing trousers, a chemise and a knee-length coatdress. She was quite deft with her technique, he noted, no doubt that that was not the first time she had sparred with an opponent. Even after ten years of marriage, Catherine never failed to surprise him. What he wasn't surprised by, however, was the fact that she still appeared to be angry.

With one final, powerful blow, Catherine's opponent fell to Henry's feet. "Excellent!" Henry exclaimed. As the guard stood up, Henry removed the ruby ring on his little finger and handed it to the man. Henry then reached out for the guard's sword. "Now if you can beat me my dear, then you can gladly remain at Amboise." Catherine eyes blazed with a fire as Henry took a few steps toward her. "…And if I win, then you will return to court with me."

Henry held his sword up. "Raise your sword, Catherine." He made an X with the blade, causing the air to hum; her eyes narrowed. "Raise it," he goaded her. Her jaw clenched, and her left brow arched, but her blade lay by her side. Henry swiped his blade again in the small space between them. Catherine still didn't react. Henry swung the sword around the back of his head and sent it toward her. The clang of their swords meeting reverberated through the courtyard. Henry dipped his head in acknowledgement. Catherine, on the other hand, did not miss a beat. She struck out again; Henry skillfully blocked it. Henry pushed forward swinging his sword before him. Catherine deftly stepped back. Catherine struck out at him again – left, then right, and then left again – but Henry blocked her each time. "Brilliant!" he exclaimed.

He attacked next; she blocked it with force, and he danced around her. That was it! No more child's play for her. She pushed forward – one, two, three, four swipes at him, one which almost made contact with his shoulder – all of which he either blocked or avoided. They continued, with Henry only making an occasional offensive move, and Catherine being relentless in her attacks. He eventually got hold of her blade-carrying arm, and she his, with their blades crossed he backed her up against a column. Releasing her arm, Henry gently caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "My God!" he breathed out in loving wonderment.

Catherine pushed him away with her sword. Her anger only growing, she attacked him with all the force she could muster. Henry had a stupid, amused smirk on his face that she wanted to erase. However, he was much more adept than she was. She finally backed him against a column, and delivered a desperate and dangerous strike. Thought he blocked it, Henry was shaken. "Catherine, my dear, do not forget than I am your husband…and the Dauphin of France." She scoffed, and slowly backed off, allowing Henry to relax for a second…before she struck again; he dodged it, and her sword made contact with the column. Had he not moved, Catherine would have taken his head clear off.

The clashes of their swords pierced through the silence around them. Henry swung forward at her, and Catherine ducked under his arm to avoid his blow, allowing Henry to grab the clip that held her hair up. As her curls tumbled down her shoulder, Henry took a sharp breath. Catherine turned her head slightly toward the guards and servants present. "Leave us," she commanded tersely.

(Henry) "It's still true. There's no one like you. You make other women tame," he said with admiration. She let out a loud breath, her brow furrowed, and she resumed the fight. Attack, block, attack, block, attack, block – they waltzed around the courtyard. Henry grabbed her wrist again – and she his, in defense – locking them into a single being. Henry pushed her up against a column, their bodies pressed against one another, their breathing heavy and slow. He brought his lips close to hers, close enough to kiss, close enough to feel her warm breath. For a moment, time froze; for a moment, she almost gave into him.

And then she regained her senses. Her eyes darkened, and Catherine pushed him away with the entire weight of her body. Their swords began to sing against each other again. Catherine had been so consumed by her anger, so focused on the fight that she did not see she was standing beneath the canopy strung out to block the blazing sun. Henry had noticed, however, and with one fell swoop he released it from its tethers. As it floated down over Catherine, her movements became tangled in it. By the time she had freed herself, Henry was no longer in her sights. Her senses heightened, Catherine braced herself for a surprise attack from Henry. She had not put it past him to attack from behind in order to win this battle. When she swiftly turned around, Henry lurched forward, sprinkling a handful of flower petals on her. She was surprised and irked. Brushing them out of her hair, she struck out repeatedly. She knew that victory was in her sights, especially when Henry tripped and fell back. Just as she was about to deliver the final blow, her focus was broken. "Your highnesses," a servant called out. Catherine turned for a moment, and, in that moment, Henry hit her sword out of her hand.

(Catherine) "Ah!" Catherine looked shocked and confused about her sudden defeat.

(Henry) "I won!" He sounded rather pleased with himself, and rather a bit out of breath.

(Catherine) "But…But…" she stammered. "This is unfair. If she had not interrupted me…"

(Henry) "Regardless of the reason, I won and you lost." He grinned, happy with his achievement.

Catherine turned to the servant. "Could you not have waited? I just lost because of you."

The servant nervously replied, "Forgive me, Your Highness, a messenger has brought word for the Dauphin from the King."

(Henry) "Ask him to wait." He turned his attention to his wife. "Forgive her, Catherine…but do remember, in battle, a moment's distraction can prove fatal and can bring…"

(Catherine) "…'defeat or death.' I know!"

Catherine moved to pick up her sword, her brow still furrowed like a sulking child.

Henry smiled. "Where did you learn to duel so well?"

(Catherine) "My cousin, Roman, taught me."

(Henry) "He has taught you well. I was lucky to have won. Now, you must prepare to depart for court."

Catherine looked at him defiantly. "I am not going back."

Henry clicked his teeth. "Now this goes against your honor. As Dauphine of France, you cannot go back on your word."

(Catherine) "I will do as I please! I will not go back!"

(Henry) "And I won't ask you again… Do you know why? My heart says you will return on your own accord…yes, you will…because by then I would have won your heart."

As Henry departed to meet the messenger, Catherine stood frozen, perplexed by his words. Would he win her back? Would he love her? Would she let him?

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The two of them had stayed in Amboise for another two months. When they eventually returned to court, Catherine was pregnant with their first child. She had returned believing that Henry loved her, that he would remain loyal and faithful to her, that they would finally have a proper family. However, when Catherine went into confinement during the last months of the pregnancy, Diane returned to court. Whether it was by Diane's choice or Henry's invitation, Catherine did not know. But, she never let herself trust Henry again…She never let herself lose to Henry again.

**AN: **I wanted to throw in a little flashback sequence in this chapter to really show how different this time is from all the other times they have fought. I'm not sure if this is the right place for it though (maybe I should include it in a separate story?), so any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for all the reviews!

Catherine Woods, Thank you for the review! I am completely in love with your "All of You" Henry + Catherine video on Youtube. So many feels! It makes me want to write all sorts of scenes between them.


	4. Chapter 4

Pulling herself out of her memories, Catherine looked at the man before her. She wanted so desperately to believe him. The only thing stopping her was her fear…Fear: the very thing she had challenged Henry to overcome, was now holding her back. But while she was afraid to give her heart to him, she was also afraid of caging it again. What kind of love was this, she thought – full of remorse, full of regret, full of enmity…an enmity that changed them both beyond recognition.

With a heavy heart, Catherine slowly walked toward her husband, still unsure about what she would say to him. As she approached, the rustle of her skirts prompted Henry to look up.

(Catherine) "Henry…" she whispered.

(Henry) "Catherine…" he said with a faint, hopeful smile. He clasped her hands in his. "Catherine…I…I am lost, Catherine. How can I make you understand? How can I show you? Without you, my heart isn't pleased by anything - nothing sounds right, nothing looks right, nothing tastes right, nothing _feels_ right. I don't want to continue living this life without you…please…please." He sounded distressed. "I know I have been a monster, and I know it will not be easy to win you back. Till today you have only seen an aloof and apathetic Henry. But, you don't know my love. I will wait for you – for your love to return, for your _trust_ to return. You asked for a place in my heart; you are the only one in my heart. You are my whole life."

(Catherine) "Henry, get up…please get up…" She paused as he rose to his feet. Gently laying her hand over his heart, she said, "I can't stay, Henry…I can't stay…" Henry grimaced trying to say something to stop her, but she continued without giving him the chance. "Why don't you understand Henry? I can't stay here another moment with you. If I remain here a single minute longer, then…"

(Henry) "Then what, Catherine?"

(Catherine) "Then, I will fall completely, hopelessly in love with you…again. But you won't…again…"

(Henry) "Catherine, no…I love you…I am in love with you. Not some fickle, momentary infatuation, but love…real, honest, pure…love. I. Love. You."

(Catherine) "Really?" She asked with hope in her eyes.

(Henry) "I love you." His smile revealed his relief that she considered staying.

(Catherine) "I love you too."

Henry stepped forward to embrace his wife, to kiss her, to hold her. But Catherine balked, leaning back, away from him.

(Catherine) "The thing is… 'I love you' is just a beginning. Then, what happens, Henry?"

Henry looked at his wife hesitantly, unsure what she wanted him to say. "What happens, Catherine?"

Catherine drew a breath. "Then, those two individuals can't handle those three little words."

She watched as Henry's face fell, and worry crept into his eyes – was she still leaving, he wondered.

(Henry) "Let us not talk about this, Catherine." Henry grasped her hands, desperately trying to hold on to her.

As Catherine half-heartedly tried to free herself from his grip, she implored, "Please let me go, Henry."

(Henry) "No." He gently placed her left hand on his shoulder, and snaked his right arm around her waist. Her right hand still lay in his left. He pulled their bodies closer together.

(Catherine) "Please?" she plead softly.

Henry shook his head. "No." He began to sway as though a dance, but with no music.

(Catherine) "Henry, at my core I am a simple woman. And I want to live a simple life. Your choices may not be wrong Henry, but they are different from mine. You and I are fundamentally different people with different perspectives on life…perhaps incompatible perspectives on life. Please…let me go."

(Henry) "I can't…I can't…" Henry entwined her in an embrace, one that he never wanted to end.

(Catherine) "Then don't ever see Diane again. Don't do the things you have been doing your entire life. Don't flirt, don't indulge the attentions of other women…because I can't stand it."

Though he wasn't looking at her, Henry's eyes lowered – not because he didn't want to do as she asked, but because he was uncertain if he _could_…uncertain if he _could_ be true and faithful to her.

(Catherine) "You, me, our children…that will be our whole world…everything. This is my everything, my whole world. Can it be yours?"

Without giving him a moment to respond, she continued, "Ok fine… you can remain in contact with Diane and the other women you feel obligated to…but nothing more, with her or anyone else. And then after a while, when their lives are in order, you can cut off all ties."

(Henry) "Catherine, I…" Catherine could sense what he was going to say.

(Catherine) "Shhh…" She threw her arms around his neck, and hugged him closer, nuzzling into his body. "I know, Henry. I understand you. I know what you want, what you need from life…And that's why…that's why we should forget each other..." A lone tear trickled down her cheek. "…Bye…"

(Henry) "Don't go, Catherine. Please don't go. This…now, here…feels nice."

(Catherine) "That's why I have to go, Henry." Her whisper betrayed her hurt and pain.

(Henry) "Five minutes…"

(Catherine) "Henry…"

(Henry) "Please…five seconds…"

Catherine assented. She clung to him harder and tighter. They stood there locked in embrace for five more seconds…and then she turned and walked out of her chambers, slowly wiping her tears.

Bea, Thank you for the review! I tried to have Catherine "leave" Henry in an emotional sense, more that a physical sense. I'm not sure if Catherine would ever leave the castle and go away because her safety and her children's safety probably lies in being near the center of power. Nevertheless, I hope you liked this!

Alex, Thanks so much for the feedback! I tried to have Henry reveal his feelings a little in this chapter and in Chapter 2, but I promise there will be a lot more of it in the upcoming chapters. Hope you enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

Henry stood dejected, watching his wife, his Catherine, walk out again. It was déjà vu. Last night, he had let her walk out because he was shocked and afraid; tonight, however, he let her go because he was helpless. He loved her – really and truly – and he let her go because he did not want to hurt her anymore. So much had changed between them; so much had changed within him.

Life is so strange, he thought. What had happened? If someone had told Henry a few days ago that he would be so in love with his wife, he would not have believed it. Now look where he was today. Henry always believed himself unlucky when it came to love; he believed that he was never destined to love or to be loved. Who would love him? What had _he_ done so wrong that no one loved him? Was he so bad, so unlovable? He had been five years old when his mother died; his father never showed any affection to him or his siblings, but rather only asked for their loyalty and sacrifice. And Diane…Diane cared for him, no doubt, but that was driven by her ambition more than her love. She never directly asked him for anything, and he loved that about her; but in retrospect, she always ended up with exactly what she wanted. He always had this nagging feeling that she didn't truly love him, but he never allowed himself to believe that because she was so important to him. Henry may have belonged to everyone around him, but he never felt that anyone belonged to him.

But Catherine… Catherine – in his way he had always loved her, albeit selfishly. Even without him realizing it, she had taught him what love was. He had continued to live his life under the delusion that he had never found someone to love him, to belong to him. He had always thought he was alone. Today, he realized that he was never really alone. Catherine had always been by his side, and in his heart; he had just been too blind to realize that. She didn't love him for his title, or his power, or his success; she loved _him_, just him. She had accepted his every strength and his every weakness. All these years, she was just his – her heart was just his. He had searched for so long for someone who thought like him, who felt like him; and she had been with him the entire time. He was such a fool! Fate had brought them together so long ago, and he was just realizing this. Since coming into his life, she had made a whole new world for him – one that he was just discovering. He wished he could have turned back time…back to when they had a chance…

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There she was Caterina de' Medici – or rather, Catherine de' Medici, as her name had been Gallicized now – daughter of Florence. Her father had been a duke, and her mother a countess, but both titles had been lost at their deaths. Though she was without a title, Catherine was still fondly called "duchessina." Henry's father had proposed a marriage between the two because Catherine was the niece of Pope Clement and her family's wealth was well known. His father had been quite pleased about finding such a wealthy bride for his younger son, hoping that her family would make up for a lack of title with a large dowry. She had arrived in French court a few months earlier as the negotiations for their marriage contract slowly progressed. They were not formally betrothed yet though; their engagement would only become official once the terms had been finalized. Henry knew that she was being courted by several others, including Scotland's King James. But, despite the politics, they had grown rather fond of each other over the last few months.

It had been late at night when he found her sitting on the dock by the lake. Her shoes were flung to the side, her dress daintily gathered up, and her feet soaking in the water. The ball had been dying down, but he could still hear faint sounds of music coming from the castle. As he approached her, he wondered why she was alone. Where were her ladies, her guards, her servants, anyone? Even though it was relatively safe on the castle grounds, a young girl should not be wandering about alone. He made a mental note to scold the guards in the morning.

She turned around, curious and slightly startled, when she heard him approach. Recognizing him, her face lit up with a smile – unassuming and genuine. How much she had changed from the first time he had met her! She had been trembling with fear when she first met him, her hand shaking as he took it and placed a tender kiss on top. Now, she had warmed up to France, to French court…to him. Without saying a word, she patted the ground next to her, motioning for him to sit down and join her.

Henry threw the coat he had been carrying over his shoulder to the ground, and took his boots off, before settling down next to her. He gingerly touched the water with his toes, and sucked a deep breath in, "It's cold!"

(Catherine) "It's only water," she said with an amused giggle. "You will get used to it in a while." Sensing his hesitation, she prodded, "You'll be fine!"

Henry cautiously lowered his feet into the water. She giggled again at him – it sounded so heavenly to him.

(Henry) "So, have you a husband yet?" Henry had observed her conversing with the Duke of Albany, an envoy of King James, tonight. No doubt the man had been trying to persuade her to accept his master's proposal.

(Catherine) "What?! No," she replied, tickled by his envy.

(Henry) "And children?"

Catherine rolled her eyes. "Yes, I have three now."

(Henry) "Ha!" He feigned shock. "Vile woman!"

He basked in her laugh, and vowed to himself to always make her laugh if they were married.

(Catherine) "Why do you ask?"

(Henry) "I am deciding whether I should behave myself or flirt shamelessly."

(Catherine) "Is it necessary to flirt?"

(Henry) "Of course! It's good for health, like…"

(Catherine) "…riding a horse," she finished for him. "I remember…"

He looked at her in wonder. The moonlight shone on her face; the stars danced in her eyes.

(Henry) "Were you always this beautiful or is there some magic in the air tonight?"

Catherine clicked her tongue. "You really are annoyingly charming."

(Henry) "You may find all this annoying now, darling. But there was a time when you were enthralled by this very charm."

(Catherine) "Me? Enthralled by _you_? Please!" Her smile gave away her insincerity, and they both let out little laughs.

(Catherine) "How is the water now?"

(Henry) "Perfect."

Catherine smiled knowingly. "What did I tell you? Give it some time and everything will be alright."

They sat in silence for a moment, before Henry turned to her and asked, "So, why are you out here alone?" Catherine's face fell, her smile vanishing.

(Catherine) "I, um…I…have no interest in parties and balls."

Henry knew her better than that. "Liar!" Looking intently into her eyes, he said, "You are dying to go back to the ball."

Catherine's brow furrowed, and she turned away. "Not at all."

Henry gently placed two fingers beneath her chin, and turned her face back toward him. "Tell me the truth. Do you want to go back or not?"

She nodded slightly. "Yes."

(Henry) "Then, what is the problem?"

(Catherine) "You won't understand," she said slightly disturbed. "All this is really easy for you."

Henry was confused. "What's easy?"

(Catherine) "This…going to balls, enjoying yourself with your friends…You are in your own country, your own home, amongst your own people. You have always had all this…But…but my life has been drastically different. I've never had any friends. I used to remain cloistered in a convent, afraid of going out…of meeting people…the wrong kind of people…"

Henry had been aware of the struggles she faced during her captivity in Florence, particularly during the end of the siege. Although he did not know the exact details, he had heard rumors about her ordeal, the worst of which he chose not to believe.

(Catherine) "The party, the ball gowns, the carefree abandon…I could not enjoy it then…and I cannot seem to do so now…I can't…I'm just too timid, too uninteresting." Her voice revealed her dejection.

(Henry) "You are _very_ interesting, Catherine."

She let out a slight sigh and shook her head, signaling her disbelief.

(Henry) "You came to France all alone, miles away from your home, to live with complete strangers for the rest of your life. That requires bravery. You held your own against thugs and savages, you dare to chide the Prince of France, and you command attention in any room you are in. You are like the larger-than-life heroes in children's tales." He inched closer to her, trying to get her to see his honesty. "All you need to do is to stop feeling bad for yourself, and to start loving yourself. You are perfect just the way you are."

Catherine looked down letting his words sink in.

(Henry) "There is one problem though." She looked up, wondering what was wrong. "You don't smile enough. Do you know how dangerous your smile is? Any one with a heart, would lose it to your smile in seconds." And there it was. Her smile began to peek out again, slowly lighting up her entire visage. "Catherine," he whispered, leaning in as though he were sharing a secret, "do you plan on holding my hand all night?"

Catherine had not realized that during the course of the conversation, she had laid her hand atop his. She quickly pulled it back. Smiling, she lowered her eyes and blushed.

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Was that the moment Catherine had fallen in love with him, Henry thought. She had been so shy when she first arrived. He had wanted to show her how remarkable she truly was; he had wanted to reveal the beauty that was hidden from her own eyes. He had hoped that showing her a different image of herself would allow her to bloom and flourish in France. He believed a different perspective – his perspective – would show her how important she was to him…and would ensure her happiness.

But now…she had said their perspectives in life were different, incompatible even. What he had wanted then was to make her happy. What he wanted _now_ was also to make her happy. Were their perspectives so different after all?

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It had only been a few months since Henry and Catherine's wedding when his cousin, Eleanor, was married off to a Portuguese duke. Even though they had not been man and wife for long, Henry and Catherine's love and friendship had already grown deep. As Prince of France, Henry was required to properly attend to the many wedding guests that poured in. Each brought with him some expensive wedding gift, as well as annoyingly extravagant pomp and circumstance.

As Eleanor's wedding celebrations dragged on night after night, Henry became increasingly bored by it all. Catherine, on the other hand, flourished, perfectly playing the part of the dutiful new wife. She was an ideal princess, gliding across the ballroom as she conversed with their many guests, listened to the advice of elders, and played intently with the children.

At one of the many balls, Henry sulked about, frustrated at being forced to endure it all again. The voices of gossipmongers buzzed around the ballroom. "Did you see what Lady Claude was wearing? How scandalous!" "Yes, of course! Her husband has been too liberal with the wine these days." "I would keep my son away from her if I were the Duchess." "The Duchess must be more worried about her husband than her son…" Ugh, Henry thought, why was he surrounded by shrews!

When no one was watching, Henry discreetly slipped away through the narrow door beside him…and promptly collided with a server carrying a tray of pastries. "I'm sorry, Your Highness! I didn't see you there," the boy stammered, trying to help Henry wipe the mess off of his clothes. Henry swatted away at his hand.

Catherine walked in, looking for servers to refill the empty trays in the ballroom.

(Catherine) "Pierre, what are you doing here? The pastries are running low in the ballroom. Go get some more from the kitchen."

The boy stood there for a moment, unsure whether he should help Henry clean up or follow Catherine's orders.

(Catherine) "Go!" she urged.

Turning to Henry, Catherine gently asked, "What are you doing here?"

(Henry) "Trying to introduce some new fashion to the court – food for clothing. Would you like to taste some?" He cheekily asked.

Her eyes narrowed - she was on to him. "You were running away from the ball, weren't you?"

(Henry) "No, I wasn't running away. I was walking away… to find some peace of mind."

Catherine let out a little sigh. "You're running away from your cousin's wedding festivities?"

(Henry) "I'm doing this for you, darling," he said impishly. "I am trying to save my honor from the desperate women in there."

(Catherine) "You can't even endure this small inconvenience for Eleanor?" she said with a lilt in her voice.

(Henry) "Eleanor isn't even going to notice that I am not there."

(Catherine) "Maybe not, but I am certain she will be very happy if she sees you there."

Henry raised his eyebrows. "Emotional blackmail?" he said, impressed with his wife's tricks. "Fine, let's go back."

(Catherine) "Wait a minute! You want to go back like this?" She pointed to his still untidy clothes. "Why don't we get you changed first?"

The two of them walked to Catherine's chambers - it was closest to the ballroom after all. She pulled out a few clothes she had of his.

(Catherine) "Here. Wear this."

(Henry) "You know, my dear, if you wanted to get me out of my clothes, you only needed to ask lovingly." As he stepped behind a divider to change, Catherine smiled to herself, shaking her head – there was his irresistible charm again tugging at her.

(Henry) "I can't believe you are dragging me back to the ball. I can't stand another minute of these wedding festivities." Not hearing a word from Catherine, Henry continued, "Have you seen what they have done to the ballroom? Who picked the decorations? It was all so gaudy. Why just the balls? Have you seen her trousseau? What in the world is she going to do with all those dresses? This whole thing is getting out of hand."

Henry stepped out in just his shirt and coat, unsure whether these were the right clothes.

Catherine looked up at him and blushed. "Oh god, Henry! Where are your trousers?" Her tickled delight was not concealed from him as she averted her eyes.

(Henry) "Why so shy, Catherine?" he teased. Henry pulled on his trousers. "Now, look. Fine?"

Catherine turned around, and smiled at her husband. Seeing Henry fidget with the buttons of his shirt, she walked over and gently started to help him. As Catherine buttoned him up, she softly said, "The decorations tonight…I approved them…They follow a Portuguese theme, in honor of the Duke." She glanced up at her husband, smiling delicately, and noticed the alarm on his face. "Eleanor's trousseau…I helped select all those dresses." Henry eyes widened; he looked like a child whose mischief had been caught.

(Henry) "No…I…it's not…" He sighed, giving up trying to explain. "Sorry," he said sweetly.

Still smiling, Catherine chided him gently, "Will you criticize everything, Henry? Everyone has worked very hard to put this wedding together."

(Henry) "Try to understand my problem, Catherine. This is just not for me."

(Catherine) "Okay, tonight, you don't have to go back. And as for the rest of the festivities, just stay by me. I promise you'll have a lot of fun."

As she spun around to go back, Henry caught hold of her wrist, and turned toward the mirror. "We make quite the pair, don't we?" He asked, sounding content.

"The best!" She replied happily.

(Henry) "Then, why don't we go celebrate the best couple in France tonight?"

(Catherine) "And what do you have in mind?" she asked, delighted.

Henry led her back to the dock they shared months ago. They dipped their feet in the water again, enjoying the moonlight, the music playing at the castle, and, most importantly, each other.

(Henry) "I was watching you with the children in the ballroom today. The way you talk to them, the way you play with them, is so sweet. You are quite the girl!"

Catherine smiled knowingly, "I know."

(Henry) "I don't think I could speak to children that way…probably because I could never speak to my father that way. He was always King Francis – not my father. Perhaps, that is the kind of father I will become as well, incapable of having a loving word with our children."

(Catherine) "You know, Henry, I don't think your words would make much of a difference to our children. It's your actions that count. The thing about parents is – whether they express it or not – they are happy when their children are happy. That's what true love is – giving, rather than receiving. And I am sure, whether you say it or not, you will give our children a lot of love."

Henry smiled, "How are you so wise?"

Catherine smiled back at him, understanding his fears…understanding him. "How about you try now? Pick your favorite amongst the things you have right now."

(Henry) "My favorite?"

(Catherine) "Yes, your absolute favorite."

Henry looked down at the little emerald ring he wore on his small finger. "My mother's ring," he said, as he took it off.

(Catherine) "Now give this ring to me," she said, taking it out of his hands. "And see how at peace you feel."

(Henry) "Are you crazy?" he exclaimed, taking it back from her, and slipping it on again. "If this is a such a great idea, then why don't you give me your favorite thing right now."

Catherine was taken aback. She looked down, contemplative for a moment. Then, she careful removed the cross around her neck, and held it out to him.

(Catherine) "This has gotten me through many a dark days. Take care of it." She looked down at the cross as she handed it to him, and prayed, "And you take care of him."

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Henry admired his wife's wisdom and selflessness. She looked radiant in her burgundy gown, her hair swept to the side over one shoulder.

(Henry) "So, is that what you want? Someone to give you things? Give you love?"

Catherine tilted her head to the side. "Isn't that what everyone wants? Isn't that what you want?"

Henry paused. "I…I don't want an ordinary life."

(Catherine) "So then…what do you want from life, Henry?" she asked earnestly.

(Henry) "Adventure...excitement…every day so thrilling, that I can feel my blood rushing through my veins. I want to fly, Catherine. I want to run. I even want to fall. I just never want to stop; I just never want to be forgotten. These stolen moments we are enjoying right now away from the usual humdrum life – they may just be an ordinary memory to you, but for me…they give me life."

Catherine observed her husband amazed and a little perplexed. He returned to his usual self. "It's all a little too much, isn't it?" he wondered out loud to her, suddenly aware that he may have over-shared.

Henry turned to look at her. "I've never said this to anyone, not even my closest confidants. Why am I saying this to you?" Catherine shrugged.

The music from the castle suddenly picked up. "Oh god!" Henry groaned. "These toads do not know what they are missing. There is a whole world out there waiting to be explored, and they are content with the petty gossip and boring relationships at court. I could never live like these people."

Catherine shook her head, brushing off his childishness. "They have chosen this life, Henry."

(Henry) "But why? Why would anyone choose this life? Most of them will spend their entire lives in one city, one house, one room… Doesn't that sound awful?"

(Catherine) "Not at all. It sounds just right – secure, warm, heavenly. I would hate to live without knowing my center, my home…like some gypsy."

Henry countered, "You are only saying that because you haven't seen the world yet. What do you know of the excitement of travelling from city to city, country to country?"

(Catherine) "And what do you know of the joy the comforts of home bring?"

Henry was taken aback; he had not expected her to challenge him. "You don't know what it feels like to sit with a group of strangers and be regaled by the tales of their lives."

(Catherine) "And you can't appreciate what it feels like to sit with the same old friends and reminisce about the same old memories."

(Henry) "One day, I will take you to Morocco so that you can try a spiced rack of lamb."

(Catherine) "One day, I will make you my famous lamb ragù – a secret family recipe – and you will forget all about your Moroccan lamb."

(Henry) "You haven't seen London, Catherine, or St. Petersburg, or Madrid, or Lisbon."

(Catherine) "Have you ever seen a child being born, Henry?"

(Henry) "No," he replied, and then sheepishly added, "But I do have a lot of children running around in all these cities."

Catherine rolled her eyes at his wicked playfulness. "That was cheap, Henry." She chuckled.

(Henry) "The sunshine in Portugal." He volleyed. He was intent on persuading her.

(Catherine) "The rain from our bedroom window."

(Henry) "The paella in Spain."

(Catherine) "The pastries we are treated to in Paris," she replied, unconvinced.

(Henry) "Enjoying the best theater around the world."

(Catherine) "Relishing story time with our children."

Henry smiled at his wife. "Actually, yes, that does sound lovely." He paused hesitantly before continuing. "My dreams aren't wrong, Catherine. They are just different from yours. You and I are just different people with different perspectives on life."

(Catherine) "I know," she said kindly, understanding him completely. She caressed his cheek. "Henry, no matter how hard we try, we are always going to miss out on something in life. So, it's best to just enjoy the moments we do have. One day, when we are spending our cherished time with our many, many children, you will realize that all the adventure, all the excitement, all that you need is right here with our family."

Henry let her words settle over him as he enjoyed that moment with her. She never failed to mesmerize him, he thought admiringly.

(Henry) "So… 'many, many children', huh?"

Catherine blushed, averting her gaze from him.

(Henry) "We'll have to name at least one Henry."

Catherine let out a soft laugh, acknowledging his pride.

(Henry) "I am certain we are going to have some wonderful children – with my good looks and well…my brains."

Catherine gave him a light, playful push, and Henry let out a laugh. Henry turned to her, saying, "If we are to have 'many, many children', perhaps we should get started right away."

Henry tenderly placed his hand on her cheek and brought her lips to meet his. He slowly slid his hand down her cheek, and past her neck. As he reached her breast, Catherine's own hand gently clenched his, stopping him in place and preventing him from moving further. "Henry," she breathed, slightly tilting her head toward the castle to remind him that they were out in public. Henry smiled knowingly. He gathered their belongings and stood up, offering her his arm to lead her back to the castle.

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When they awoke in each other's arms the next morning, Henry had been so sure that Catherine was with child. But he had been wrong. They waited another ten years for the birth of their first child. During that time, Catherine had called in quacks from all across Europe to help her conceive, embarrassing him and prompting questions about his masculinity. Henry too grew increasingly frustrated, and turned to Diane for comfort, spurning his wife.

Even though that naïve Henry and Catherine had long been lost, he had found himself longing for his wise, understanding, selfless wife. And yet, whenever given the chance to reclaim her, Henry had callously rebuked her. Catherine, for her part, rationalized his dalliances as products of his need for excitement, for adventure. Dejected that she could never provide that for him, that he never sought that from her, she built an impenetrable armor about her to protect herself from his coldness.

Today, standing alone in her chambers, Henry finally understood her words from many years ago. He finally realized the importance of home. But, most importantly, he realized that home was not a place or a building, it was a person – a person who gives you love; a person to whom you want to give love…and Catherine was his home.

LinaOso, I am so honored you like my characterization of Catherine! I just can't seem to get over her heartbreak during her last scene with Henry. When he mentioned Diane, the light just went out of her eyes, and I just wanted to give voice to that sorrow. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him for that moment, but I hope I can get some closure on this couple through this story. Though there is a lot of pain, I hope to sprinkle in some happiness throughout. I hope you continue to enjoy it!


	6. Chapter 6

Henry returned to him chambers, dejected and worn. He understood her decision, but every fiber in his being wanted to fight it…to fight for her. Glancing over at his cold, empty bed, Henry settled on the chair by his desk. He stared at the papers before him – not reading a single word, but rather contemplating all that had transpired. Henry waved everyone out of the room as he brought his hand to his temple, and closed his eyes.

Catherine's face flashed before him. Her hazel eyes – there had been so much life in them, so much warmth in them…they even lit up the cold, treacherous stone palaces they lived in. As king, Henry knew that the world around him had always been fake – the love, the admiration, the promises, all of it – created merely to appease him. And he had been blind to the one thing that had been constant and true– Catherine's love; her vows to live and die for him. He had never found anyone like Catherine; he would never find anyone like her. She was intelligent beyond measure… she was strong, protective, brave…she was beautiful…the way she laughed…the way she sulked…her challenging him on every little matter…she had an attitude…a fierceness…and rightfully so, he thought with a smile. There had always been a dearth of love in her life; it was the one thing she always wanted, always sought...and the one thing he had never given her...

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Diane had positioned herself behind Henry, rubbing his back and shoulders, as he sat surrounded by his friends. They had just returned from a long and successful hunt; he was exhausted. Catherine strolled into the room, feigning nonchalance but with a distinct coldness registered on her visage.

(Henry) "Ah, Catherine! Come, have a seat." She stood rooted before him. "Do you need something from me?"

(Catherine) "Not at all. On the contrary, I thought I would give you something." She eyed Diane. "Since she is massaging your shoulders, perhaps I should _massage_ your throat." Catherine's fury was evident behind her mocking smile.

(Henry) "What?" he asked confused.

(Catherine) "You seem to be enjoying it quite a bit."

(Diane) "He is so tired. I'm just trying to help him relax."

Catherine scoffed, and sarcastically derided, "Oh really? Then, why don't you make a business out of it? I am certain all the men in France will clamor to you for some _relaxation_."

Henry's temper flared. "That's enough, Catherine! You are overstepping your bounds! You do not need to be so insecure. I am just relaxing with my friends after a long day. What am I doing wrong?! What am I doing wrong?!"

Catherine was hurt and taken aback. "You aren't doing anything wrong." She whimpered, pained and humiliated, as she walked out. They had been married for four years now; Diane had been in their lives for most of those. For the past year, Catherine had been feeling like it had all been a great mistake – her marriage had been a great mistake.

As she stomped to her chambers, Henry sent one of his men behind her. How typical of Henry! He could not be bothered with her himself, so he sent some crony to placate her. "Don't," she spat, glaring in rage. The man backed away and returned to give his report to Henry.

In her anger, Catherine had considered leaving Henry before. With her family's wealth and influence in Italy, she was perfectly capable of surviving without him. Besides, they did not have any children together. But without power, she would be vulnerable and unsafe, like she was in Florence. And this was marriage, one sanctified before God: not easily undone, not easily broken. Besides she didn't like ending relationships – she had so few in her life that she truly cherished them, particularly that with her husband.

And Henry…Henry was the love of her life. Though he maddened her and upset her and tormented her, her heart still belonged to him. There were times when he was kind to her, when he was attentive and loving; and in those few precious moments, her whole world would brighten – the air smelled sweeter, the blandest food tasted heavenly, and she felt as though the unfinished melodies of her life were stitched into a beautiful song. But when he turned, when his love turned, the glass castle around them would come crashing down – the sun's rays would lose warmth, the music from songbirds would sound hollow, and grey clouds would cast a shadow over her. He didn't know any of this, or maybe he just didn't care…

When Henry entered the banquet a few hours later, his attention immediately drew to Catherine twirling and gliding about as she danced with her ladies, trying to appear aloof about her husband's indiscretions. She wore an emerald gown, cinched at the waste by a silk ribbon and paired with diamond and emerald jewelry; her hair neatly arranged into a chignon held together by a large diamond clip. When the music stopped, Henry smiled and walked over to her – she still commanded his attention whenever she was present in a room. He wasn't worried about her disgruntlement; he knew that he would be able to pacify her…that is, _if_ she were still angry.

(Henry) "Catherine," he nodded in acknowledgement. "You look beautiful."

Catherine looked at him, unresponsive. Henry leaned in to whisper, "That little freckle, peeking out from the left side of your right cheek, has stolen my heart. I could sacrifice a hundred armies for that freckle alone. It makes me ache to kiss you." Her eyes glanced up to meet his. She was blushing, he noted. He knew she was softening. "I'm sorry. I should not have chided you before." Catherine rolled her eyes – he still did not understand the real problem.

(Catherine) "I swear, Henry! If you don't leave these antics behind once and for all, I will leave you."

Henry suppressed his smile at her empty threat. He knew that no matter what he did she wouldn't dare follow through. The fact was a woman could not survive without her husband; society would never let her. "You know, you look all the more beautiful when you threaten me," he said cheekily, certain she would relent soon.

As Catherine cocked her head – about to reply – her earring slipped off her ear; Henry deftly caught it in his palm. Her hand shot up to her ear to hide the empty lobe, and her eyes darted to the floor, searching for the back of that darn thing. As Catherine frantically looked about, a footman announced the arrival of members of his father's Privy Council; no doubt, they would head directly to Henry and Catherine to pay their respects to the Dauphin and Dauphine of France. Catherine looked up startled, a tinge of panic and disappointment registered on her face. Some of these men had been pressuring King Francis and Henry to rebuke her because she hadn't provided an heir to the Dauphin yet. She would hate to appear anything less than perfectly put together before them.

Her eyes flashed up to Henry's, searching for a solution. He smiled to calm her down. Without a word, Henry reached behind her and released her hair from its clip. Then, he gently brushed it forward over her shoulder, hiding her ear. Catherine raised her eyebrows, silently asking for his approval; Henry responded with a kind smile and reassuring nod. After they had duly attended to the nobles, Catherine walked away to rejoin her ladies. Smiling to himself, Henry unfurled his hand to look at the treasure hidden within…her emerald and diamond earring. Henry gently closed his hand around his stolen token, and turned to look at his wife. Though he did not speak with Catherine again, he could not avert his eyes from her all night – how her lashes fluttered as she blinked, how her lips moved to form the shape of the words she spoke, how her hand brushed her locks away from her eyes, how her hips swayed as she danced. Henry could not suppress his content smile; Catherine had noticed his attentiveness…as had Diane.

Diane was waiting for him when he returned to his chambers that night. "Not tonight, Diane," Henry said curtly, as he walked over to his desk and set Catherine's earring down. Without acknowledging his command, Diane walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist.

(Henry) "Diane." Henry commanded, indicating his displeasure. He extricated himself from her grip, and firmly led her out. At that ill-timed moment, Catherine approached his chambers. Seeing Henry's behavior that night, she had wanted to reconcile with her husband…and to spend the night with him. In her joyous glow, she had not sent word to Henry beforehand; nor had she noticed the guards' flustered shock as she strode past them – a fatal mistake.

Catherine froze in her tracks before his door as Diane and Henry emerged. Diane gave a coquettish smile to Henry, before slithering off. Catherine fortified herself; her accusatory glare fixed on Henry. A coldness washed over her heart and chased the warmth from her bones.

(Catherine) "I thought I would try one last time to fix our relationship, but it looks like that isn't necessary any more." Henry held her by her wrist as she turned to leave.

(Henry) "Catherine…Catherine…listen to me." She freed her wrist and tried to leave again. This time, he grabbed her elbow tightly. "Catherine, listen to what I have to say," he demanded forcefully. "I was just trying to escort her out. You can stay."

Catherine scoffed, pulling herself out of his grip. "Why? So that you can do with me what you just did with her? Haven't you had enough fun for one day, Henry?"

(Henry) "I didn't ask her to come here," he said, frustrated.

(Catherine) "You know what, Henry, Diane isn't the only problem between us – you are as well." She looked resolutely at him. "I'm done, Henry. _We_ are done."

(Henry) "Are you crazy?! You are berating me over something so small…"

(Catherine) "Small? I refuse to suffer any more humiliation because of you, Henry. I have already endured a lot for you."

(Henry) "Catherine, I will fix everything."

(Catherine) "How? By lying to me? By sneaking around behind my back? How many people can you deceive, Henry? The whole court? One day, the burdens of your actions will destroy us."

Henry sighed, trying to use a calmer tone. "Nothing will be destroyed."

(Catherine) "I made a mistake, Henry. I realize now that marriage is not about wealth or titles or power. It's about the kind of person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Some things are just not destined for us - spending our lives with the right person is one of those things."

Catherine attempted to leave again. Henry stopped her; placing his hands on her waist, he pulled her closer and brought their heads together.

(Henry) "Catherine, we are married. We love each other. Is that not enough?" He asked gently.

Catherine turned her head. "It never is." She met his gaze, and continued, "I cannot accept Diane or anyone else in my life, in our lives." She left him standing there as she walked back to her chambers alone.

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Why was she doing this? Catherine questioned herself. She loved him; he loved her; was that not enough? Henry had made so many callous mistakes during their marriage, and yet she had been the one punished for it all. What had they done to themselves? He may have been distraught when she walked away, but it wasn't as though she wasn't hurt either. When they were younger, when the world appeared rosy, she would close her eyes, and imagine running away with him – far from the politics, far from Diane, far from it all. She would imagine herself the princess in her grandmother's tales of yore – and Henry…Henry, her prince, of course. Why was she doing this?...To ensure that the two of them do not endure any more pain... She forced her eyes shut, willing her love to go away.

The cold wind bit at her skin as Catherine looked out at the lake. The moonlight rained on her open palm. Yet, when she closed her hand, only darkness remained in her grasp.

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Catherine cautiously walked into the room, unsure how Henry would react. He stood by his desk in the dark room, save for the light that trickled in from a lone open window.

Glancing up from the papers he had been shuffling about, Henry said, "I don't want to talk right now, Catherine."

(Catherine) "I…I came to see you…"

Henry put the papers down and looked at her. "Oh! To offer your condolences? Thank you," he said averting his eyes, attempting to hide his grief.

(Catherine) "Henry, it's been a few days now. I'm told you don't want to meet anybody." She plead, "Henry, staying alone like this…"

Henry cut her off angrily. "I'll have to get used to being alone. Everyone important to me is gone now – my mother, my brother…and now my father. You better stay away as well, lest you get lost in the darkness that surrounds me."

(Catherine) "Henry, you need someone…"

(Henry) "I don't need anyone, Catherine! You think I _need_ you?!" Catherine winced, startled by the sudden rise in his voice. Noticing her reaction, he softened. "Thank you for coming. You may leave now," he said, turning his back toward her.

Catherine stepped toward him – trying to reach out to him in some way – when the green and white lights dancing on Henry's table caught her eye. Her earring…it had been missing for years, long before Francis was born. She hadn't known that it had been with Henry all this time. Was it a memento of hers that he had cherished over the years? Or had he merely absentmindedly forgotten about it – forgotten it was hers? She gingerly picked it up, perplexed about finding it there, her lips trying to form the words to ask Henry about it.

Henry suddenly noticed her actions. "What are you doing? Catherine, please leave from here." Henry became terser as he frantically tried to usher her out, not wanting to answer her questions about the the earring...about herself...about his love. "I told you I do not wish to meet any one! Leave!"

(Catherine) "But, Henry…" she gently protested.

(Henry) "Leave from here! I said leave me alone!"

Catherine shook her head slightly, and, holding the earring up, earnestly said, "But, Henry…this won't suit you."

Henry was at a loss for words...surprised for a moment. And then they both let out a little laugh. She had such a way of calming him down, of doing away with his problems. Catherine slowly approached him and wrapped him up in a snug embrace. As her vanilla scent warmed his very soul, Catherine reassured him, "As long as I am by your side, I will never allow you to be engulfed by darkness."

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Henry starred at the earring still on his desk as the fire in the room began to die down and the room slowly darkened around him. He picked up his cherished keepsake, tenderly running his finger over the jewels.

Incomplete...he thought. Their story was incomplete – his and Catherine's. Even their farewell was incomplete. They could not remain incomplete forever...he would not allow it.

**AN**: You guys are amazing! Thank you for the wonderful reviews!

Bea, I am so glad you liked the sword fighting. I was afraid I hadn't properly described the action I envisioned, so it's good to hear that the sequence worked. I completely agree with you – I cannot stand Diane on the show or in RL. Her constant presence meant Henry and Catherine (Cathry?) never had a chance. She'll pop up in this story, but I'm definitely going to give Catherine the upper hand!

Guest (aka "Unnamed Visitor), Thank you for your review! I am a huge Henry/Catherine shipper myself. I wish the show had given us more of these two. They will definitely find their way back to each other, but you'll have to stay tuned to see how (mostly because I myself haven't decided on how yet)

LinaOso, So happy you are enjoying it so far. I'm just going throw everything H+C in here, maybe even the kitchen sink =P

Catherine Woods, Thank you so much for your review! Your excitement made me feel special. It's definitely going to pick up soon, so I hope you continue to like it as the heartbreak starts to heal slowly.

Demedicigirl, Thank YOU for reading and reviewing this story! I hope you continue to like where I take these two regardless of whether she stays or not (I'll probably have to decide that soon!).


	7. Chapter 7

"Farewell," Catherine whispered, trying to finally rid herself of the innocent Caterina inside her. The naïve girl who loved Henry was still within her somewhere, buried within the layers of armor she had built around her. Sometimes in the mirror, a little flash of Caterina would peak out from behind her eyes – full of life, full of promise, full of hope. But then she would see the years and the scars written on her face, and Catherine would return, determined to survive in the incessant battlefield around her. Peace was something she could never relish, but lying in Henry's arms always made her forget about the constant war she waged. Today was different, however. She was spent – calm because she wasn't fighting… not any more…not with Henry…not for Henry.

"Farewell" she said again, desperate to find some finality, desperate to rid her heart of love…of Henry. Her voice was lost in the frosty wind, consumed by the bleak landscape. Henry's voice resonated in her ear, tugging her to years past. "Don't say farewell… Never say farewell... Farewells end the hope of ever meeting again. And we will surely meet again…"

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Madeleine paced back-and-forth across the room, a nervous wreck. Henry and Catherine had been trying to soothe her jitters all afternoon. As her betrothal with the Scottish King James, approached, Madeleine had become increasingly unnerved about her future.

(Madeleine) "Henry, how am I going to do this? Why did I agree to marry him? I will not be able to survive in Scotland. And I barely know the King." The panic in her voiced climbed as she spoke.

(Henry) "Who asked you to agree to it?" he asked, unsympathetic. Catherine gave him a reprimanding look. Such a typical man!

(Madeleine) "Ah!" she moaned. "You are supposed to comfort me, brother, not harangue me."

(Catherine) "Every girl has to marry sometime, Madeleine." Catherine tried to pacify her." You are fortunate to have found a man who is so taken with you...and a KING no less." Catherine's voice filled with feigned excitement as though she were convincing a child.

Madeleine contemplated Catherine's words in silence, allowing them a moment's hope that they had convinced her. And then her brow contorted in worry again. "What am I going to saying to him? What will we speak about?" she asked, half to herself, half to the room.

Henry let out a hearty laugh. "Say to him? You won't be able to say anything to him. He's a Scot!" Henry reached for Catherine's hand and pulled her onto his lap saying, "Before you know it he's going to throw you over his knee like this, call you a 'bonnie lass,' and kiss you with his foul mouth." He was thoroughly enjoying teasing his little sister.

(Catherine) "Henry!" she chided, jumping out of his lap, thoroughly scandalized by his actions and his bawdy words.

Madeleine wailed, "Henry!", the distress rising in her voice.

(Henry) "Alright, alright, you needn't fret. Everything will be fine! Nothing untoward will happen when you meet to your future husband. All you have to do is ask the right questions and the conversation will help you understand him better."

Seeing her skepticism, Henry suggested, "Here, Catherine and I will pretend to be betrotheds meeting for the first time. You will see how easy it is."

Catherine's eyebrow peaked, surprised and slightly vexed. "Yes. Why not? Instead of helping Madeleine, let's play pretend," she said, sarcastically.

Henry smiled – he knew his wife did not indulge in silly games. Nevertheless, he pressed forward, "Ah! My dear betrothed. I may be an old, bald, seventy-year-old man with crooked teeth and failing sight, but I assure you I will be as sprightly and amorous with you as I was with my six previous wives." Henry teased with a delighted laugh.

(Catherine) "Henry!" Catherine scolded – her eyes widened, but her lips struggled to suppress her amusement.

"Henry!" Madeleine cried again.

(Henry) "Fine! Fine! We will just be James and Madeleine."

Catherine rolled her eyes. Her husband will always be a child, always interested in inane amusements. "This isn't funny, Henry," she said, begging off from having to play along.

Henry tugged her to the seat beside. "It is funny! It's fun. Remember fun?" he asked, feigning innocence.

Catherine sighed – he was not going to relent. "Alright. Go on."

(Henry) "Good! So, my dear, after living in France for so long, will you be able to adapt to life in Scotland with me?"

Catherine paused for a minute, gathering her thoughts. "Hmm. More important than adapting to life in a particular place, is to adapt to a life with a particular person. If two people are happy together, it makes no difference whether they live in Scotland or France."

(Henry) "Brava!" He exclaimed. "What a perfect answer!" Catherine reveled in her performance. Henry continued, "As my wife, one day when we are King and Queen, will you reign beside me as my equal or will you allow me to rule alone?"

Catherine cocked her to the side, and turned the question back to him. "Why do you ask? Do you not want me to rule with you?"

(Henry) "No no!" he retreated quickly. "I believe kings and queens should always rule together as equals. Husbands and wives are always much stronger and wiser together, like you and I will be."

(Catherine) "Now, that's a perfect answer!" she beamed.

(Henry) "And now about our children…"

Catherine's face registered an amused confusion. "What about children?"

(Henry) "Aren't you going to ask me how many children I want?"

(Catherine) "How many children do you want?" she asked, indulging him with a chuckle.

(Henry) "Lots! First, I want a daughter – beautiful and intelligent, just like her mother. I believe I will be a ideal father. If anyone upsets her, I will break his legs!"

Catherine couldn't help but laugh. "And you believe that doing so will make you a good father?"

Henry leaned closer, turning his body completely toward her, shutting out the world around them. "Most definitely! See, you are going to be such a wonderful mother that it wouldn't be a problem if I indulge our children a little."

Catherine too leaned into Henry, forgetting that they were only pretending. "So, I do all the work, and you enjoy all the benefits?"

(Henry) "Yes," he said with a mischievous grin. "From my perspective, we will have a great marriage – you, me, and lots of little children running around. I can already picture the family portrait."

(Catherine) "And we shall have a home of our very own, perhaps at Chenonceau, alongside the River Cher."

Henry crinkled his nose, "Do we have to?" Catherine playfully pushed his hand. "Alright, fine. But as mistress of the house, it will be entirely your responsibility to ensure everything is in order. I simply plan on enjoying the comforts of the chateau, and doing nothing else."

(Catherine) "I see. And, what else do you plan on doing after our marriage – other than spoiling our children and lounging around in luxury, of course?"

(Henry) "There is nothing else to do. I will be happy – enjoying my life with my children by my side." Realizing his mistake, Henry quickly added, "And with you of course... Sorry!"

(Catherine) "So… I am only an afterthought, after our children and the comforts of a castle?"

Henry stumbled over his error. "No, no, that was a mistake. It should have been 'with you'."

(Catherine) "So… I am only an afterthought, after our children and the comforts of a castle?"

(Henry) "No, Catherine, that was wrong. I was supposed to name you," he said, half laughingly.

Catherine met Henry's gaze, a mischievous gleam in her eyes, and let out a little laugh. "If you ever take my name _after_ anyone or anything again, I will throw you into the Cher myself."

Henry chuckled, and lovingly placed his hands on her cheeks. "Okay, okay, my dear. I'm sorry! I promise, from today, everyone else comes second; I will always love you first and foremost."

They remained lost in each other for a minute, shrouded in love. It was as though Henry had seen his wife in a new light, as though he had reclaimed something he had long forgotten. And Catherine had momentarily become adrift in Henry's fleeting affection – allowing herself to dream even though her eyes were open, even though she was awake.

Suddenly aware of the people around them, Henry and Catherine straightened out, composing themselves. The two of them had been so absorbed in their pretend world that they had forgotten all else around them. As Catherine observed her husband – affectionate and despondent – Henry laughed, his eyes twinkling in merriment. Turning to Madeleine, he said "See how easy it is? I almost married Catherine again!"

Madeleine forced a giggle. "A valiant effort, dear brother, but, unfortunately, it has done nothing to calm my nerves." She averted her eye, brooding over her worries.

Catherine recognized the fear in her eyes; it was the same one that she had experienced not three years earlier – the fear of marrying a stranger, the fear of spending her life in a foreign land, the fear of losing herself. "I would like to speak with Princess Madeleine privately," she announced, sending everyone scurrying out. She silently motioned Henry to leave as well. As he grudgingly walked out, Catherine beckoned Madeleine to her.

(Madeleine) "What did you think before marrying?" she asked as she slumped into her seat beside Catherine.

(Catherine) "Who thinks before marrying?" She joked, trying to lighten the mood. "Your brother and I had a chance to befriend each other before we were married. I simply thought that we were giving our friendship a new chapter. What can be better than spending your entire life with a friend?"

(Madeleine) "Did love ever take the place of that friendship, Catherine? Or is there no space in your relationship for love?" she asked with sincerity.

Catherine paused. "Love? Yes, there is love..." she said, trying to convince herself more than Madeleine. She changed the subject back. "King James…do you love him?"

Madeleine did not respond, unsure about her own feelings.

Catherine let out a little laugh. "You cannot take so long to respond."

(Madeleine) "I've only met him once…" her voice trailed off.

Catherine glanced over to where Henry had been sitting. "Sometimes love can happen in a single meeting; but other times, it takes many instances for love to gradually grow."

(Madeleine) "I chose him. He is my betrothed," she said with a little resigned smile.

(Catherine) "That's no answer to my question. Do you love him?"

Madeleine paused. "I do…but not in the way I imagined…"

(Catherine) "How did you imagine it to be? Like in fairytales and children's stories?" Her voice softened. "...the way love is supposed be…the way you dreamed of…that kind of love…" She had a distant look in her eyes. "But that does not exist anymore, Madeleine. The age of everlasting loved has long passed now." During her early days with Henry, Catherine had been filled with so much hope – promises of happiness and love, promises of forever. She had lost that somewhere along the way – she had become jaded.

(Madeleine) "Does that mean you do not love your husband, my brother?"

Catherine pulled herself back – shaking her head in denial, an unsure smile on her face.

(Madeleine) "You cannot take so long to respond."

Catherine searched for the right words…to hide the truth, to hide her pain. "We are happy," she said, unconvincingly. "We have made our own world together."

(Madeleine) "That's no answer to my question."

Catherine rose, walking toward the window. "The question here is about _your_ life, not mine." Though her words were directed to Madeleine, she spoke more to herself. "You are at a crossroads in your life, where there are two paths before you: one that leads to happiness, which I pray that you get; the other that leads to an endless wait…a wait for love…which you may never get."

(Madeleine) "And what if I find that love after I am married?"

(Catherine) Images of Henry and Diane flashed before her. "If you do not look for it…you will not find it…" She shook her head, and turned back to Madeleine. "Maybe you will be one of the lucky few who find love with their husband."

Madeleine understood her sister-in-law's sorrow. She had been witness to it all – from the surreptitious, amorous glances toward Henry to the pain and humiliation of sharing him with others, including Diane.

(Madeleine) "He loves you Catherine. If you are waiting for him to admit it, he won't; my foolish brother has yet to realize it. I know him very well. He may forget my birthday every year, but he remembers every little detail about you. I have seen my impatient, petulant brother patiently waiting for hours to catch one glimpse of you, to spend a few moments with you. He may leave you behind while he travels away from court, but he always carries your ribbon with him – sewn into the breast of his coat. You may have only been married for three years now, but looking at the two of you, it feels as though you have been bound together for eons. If this is not love, then what is?" She grasped Catherine's hands, trying to assure her. "He loves you, Catherine. He truly does. True love is difficult to find in our lives, governed by politics and treachery; you are lucky to have found it. And it's right before you, you just have to reach out, reach out for what is yours..."

When Madeleine departed for Scotland a few months later as a newlywed, she had clung to Henry and Catherine. As she said her tearful goodbyes, Henry had stopped her. "Don't say farewell, Madeleine. Never say farewell. Farewells end the hope of ever meeting again…and we will surely meet again." He gently wiped her tears. "We will meet very soon…because this life is long, but we have very little time to live..."

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Catherine had carried Madeleine's words with her all these years, wanting there to be some truth in them. She had chosen to wait for love…to wait for _his_ love. Their entire marriage had been a search for his love. In the mornings when she awoke next to him, Catherine had searched for her face reflected in his eyes…there was a time when all she saw was love…but once Diane returned, all she could see was Diane's face. Catherine had sacrificed her happiness to wait for his love…which she never got. In love, she had made many mistakes. For years, she had kept living for him…kept dying for him…even as her world had filled with his empty promises, his false assurances.

Catherine remembered reading somewhere once that marriages should only be founded on unbridled, unconditional love…because if the foundation is wrong, then relationships shatter. Perhaps that's why even in the darkest days of their marriage, she had never stopped loving Henry…and she had truly loved him…more than herself, more than life itself…but somehow it hadn't been enough... Sometimes, all the luxuries in the world can be insufficient... Sometimes, just getting the love of one person would have been enough to fill her world with riches…

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"YOU CANNOT DO THIS!"

Catherine had heard the shouting from the end of the hallway.

"THAT IS NOT WHAT WE AGREED ON! YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST CONSULTED WITH ME!"

Catherine's cousin Giorgio had been fuming because Henry had reneged on an agreement. She had to go assuage the situation now, lest her relatives cause more problems. She entered the room and promptly closed the door behind. "Lower your voice, Giorgio," she hissed, "lest the whole castle learn of your quarrels. It's disgraceful."

Still seething with anger, Giorgio let out a loud sigh, but reduced his voice nevertheless as he continued to address Henry. "Why did you not bother to at least ask me?"

Henry responded, nonchalantly, "Because you would have said no. You would have packed your things and returned to your home like a child."

(Giorgio) "How dare you! We are partners, Prince Henry. All this is not yours alone. I have a right to…"

(Henry) "Partners? Giorgio, please. It is best that you stay behind me. Enjoy the benefits, but do not dare to interfere in my business." Seeing Giorgio grit his teeth, Henry mocked, "Did I upset the little prince?"

(Giorgio) "You will regret this. I will make sure you regret this."

Giorgio stormed toward the door. Catherine stopped him, positioning herself in his path.

(Catherine) "Giorgio, wait. Where are you going? Stay and resolve this."

(Giorgio) "I cannot resolve anything with him," he spat.

(Henry) "Stop acting like a child, Giorgio. This is not child's play for you to leave in a huff."

Giorgio addressed Catherine, "I am leaving for Italy. I no longer want anything to do with your husband."

(Catherine) "If you leave here, everyone will question your motivations. They'll say you are jealous of his success."

(Giorgio) "Really? And who will say that?"

(Catherine) "I will say it myself, amongst others."

(Giorgio) "Are you blind or have you just gone mad? You are a Medici, Caterina. Or have you betrayed your blood for this Frenchman? I never expected you to fall so."

(Henry) "Hey! Your problem is with me, right? So, argue with me. Do not drag your cousin into this. Speak to my wife respectfully or I will make you do so."

(Catherine) "Have you lost your senses, Giorgio? He is my husband; my loyalties must lie with him. Do not forget that he has been good to me _and_ our family. Learn to understand him."

(Giorgio) "He only understands money. Do you know the _only_ reason he even married you?"

(Catherine) "Does it matter? He was a good man, one who married a girl held in captivity, whose reputation had been poisoned by gossip."

Giorgio scoffed. "He would have married you even if you were an invalid or with another man's child. Do you know why?...Tell her. Tell her."

(Catherine) "You are speaking like a petulant child."

Giorgio mocked her naiveté. "No, Caterina, you are the gullible child here. The _only_ reason he married you was for your dowry. The _only_ reason he remains married to you, despite your lack of a child, is for your money. If his country did not run on your funds, he would have long discarded you, or worse… beheaded you."

Henry remained silent, not making even the slightest attempt to deny Giorgio.

Giorgio continued, alternately attacking both Henry and Catherine. "Ask him…Your grace?...Our uncle, Pope Clement, had promised a vast dowry for you. Do you not remember? Our family still funds your husband's expenses. Do you not know this? He only wants your money, Caterina."

Catherine's brow furrowed in increasing distress. While her marriage was not perfect, Catherine had at times foolishly indulged her heart, especially when she caught flickers of affection for her in Henry. It felt as though Giorgio had violently roused her from a dream, shattering the delicate fantasy she had been cocooned in.

(Giorgio) "You are just capital to him, Caterina… just capital…nothing more."

Henry still did not respond. Having said his piece, Giorgio stomped off – the damage done; the wounds inflicted.

(Catherine) "He's right, isn't he?" she asked, her eyes lowered. "Everything he said… was the truth. Even after two years, our marriage is just a political transaction, an alliance for France's benefit." She closed the distance between her and Henry, and slowly placed her hand on his chest, right above his heart. "…purely mathematical…and nothing more." She met his gaze for a moment, gently touching his cheek – searching for love, searching for herself. "We could never hope for anything more…"

Despite her stoic stride out of the room, she was wounded…he could tell. But he did not stop her; he did not say anything.

If he had only asked her to stay in that moment…perhaps they would not have been strangers… perhaps they would not have been so alone…

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They say time heals all wounds, Henry thought…but without love, some wounds only become deeper and more painful. He had never read her pain; he had never understood her. Catherine had always been an enigma – speaking volumes even in her silence. If only he had heard her…

Henry knew he had erred greatly: by valuing his dreams and his power more than his relationship with his wife; by breaking her heart, by causing her pain, and never once apologizing; and more than anything else, by forsaking those countless instances when he could have told her how much he loved her…believing he would do so someday when the time was right. But when she walked out that night, he ran out of time. He had always said that life may be long, but he had very little time... For Henry, the time was now…if he wanted to love, the time was now…if he wanted to apologize, the time was now…if he wanted her, the time was now…

**AN**: Suddenly swamped with work when all I want to do is read and write Henry + Catherine fanfiction! Problems of being a shipper =/

On the bright side, this chapter is dedicated to _Matrakcsi_ for the many kind words of encouragement. I hope you liked it.

_LinaOso_ and _Catherine Woods_, sorry about the feels! It is pouring cats and dogs here, and I am in a very broody mood, so get ready for more angst. Maybe when the sun comes out, I'll be happy and so will the story. Till then, I hope you both enjoy the wonderful heartache that is Henry and Catherine!


	8. Chapter 8

"Catherine!" Henry's voice rang out across the grounds, jolting Catherine from her memories. What was he doing here, she thought. Whatever they had between them was over. She had told him that in no uncertain terms when she left her chambers. But here he was walking toward her, his cheerful strides matched by his gleeful smile.

"Here!" he said, thrusting a pair of mittens towards her. Henry placed a firm hard at the back of her head… and planted a passionate, assured kiss on her lips…one filled with love and nothing else – not regret, not pain, not distrust…just love.

When they finally parted, Catherine face reflected surprised delight, and an ever so slight smile. She hadn't allowed herself to react that way, but she could not stop herself. Maybe it was that place – the dock, the moonlight, the lake…she had found herself there night having no place else to go. She had left Henry in her chambers, but his memories brought her to that spot… their spot.

Or maybe, just maybe it was him…

(Catherine) "What are you doing here, Henry?"

Henry threw a warm cape around her shoulders. Suddenly aware of how cold it was, she pulled it tightly around her…how did she not notice the biting chill earlier.

(Henry) "I've come to spend the rest of my life with you." He planted another kiss on her lips. He could kiss her forever if she would allow it.

(Catherine) "But what about…"

(Henry) "Cancelled!" he said definitively.

(Catherine) "But…how could you…I had said…" she sighed. She was less concerned about the fact that he changed his mind, and more concerned about the reason he did so. "Why?"

(Henry) "I didn't want to take the risk, my dear," he said matter-of-factly. "What if someone else whisked you away?"

(Catherine) "But we agreed, Henry."

(Henry) "And now, I say 'no' to that agreement," he stepped closer to her "so that I can 'yes' to you."

(Catherine) "Seriously? Are you really going to do this?"

(Henry) "Absolutely! I am going to win you back, even if it takes a whole lifetime. You can refuse me now, but know how I hate to be denied. I assure you, I will be _relentless_. I will prove my love to you every single day while I still have my breath. I will fight for you; I will die for you; I will do everything in my power to win you back. Wherever you turn, wherever you look, I will be before you…with nothing but love to give."

Catherine wanted to believe him; she wanted to accept him…but her mind wouldn't allow her. Sensing her hesitation, Henry stepped forward and kissed her again. As he broke away from her, he saw that her eyes had welled up.

(Catherine) "And what about Diane…and the others?"

Henry pulled out a folded parchment from his coat and handed it to her. "Read it."

Catherine nervously opened the paper, her apprehension evident as she scanned through the words.

* * *

_Dear Diane,_

_Our relationship will no longer continue from this day forward. I am severing all ties with you. We will not meet each other; we will not see each other; we will not speak to each other. You will no longer hold a place in my life as my mistress or anything else. I will, however, continue to fulfill my obligations to you. I have already ordered my Treasurer to ensure all your financial needs are met. Do not attempt to contact me again. Any communication from you must be directed to one of my councilors. This will be my final letter to you._

_Henri Rex_

* * *

(Henry) "This is just a draft. The real letter to Diane has already been sent."

(Catherine) "…as have others, I'm sure."

Henry let out a little laugh. His wife was not going to let him have this so easily.

(Catherine) "You are going to change everything for me? This is who you are, Henry."

(Henry) "No…this is who I _was_. But there is a right time for everything. And today…today is the right time for this…" he said, handing her a little box.

Catherine peeked inside, and tossed it back to him. "It's empty."

(Henry) "That box is for this." He delicately picked up her hand, and slipped the little emerald ring on her delicate finger.

Catherine looked at it in bewilderment. "Your mother's ring," she whispered. She remembered, he smiled to himself.

(Henry) "You were right. I do feel at peace… Be mine, Catherine," he implored, "now and forever…as I am yours and yours alone."

Catherine turned away from him. "Henry, you'll… you'll leave again."

(Henry) "Then, you can bring me back."

She spun around to him, her distress revealing her true desires. "That means you'll actually leave?"

Henry clicked his teeth. "I won't go anywhere. I will _never_ leave your side. Just try me!"

(Catherine) "Try? Henry, marriage isn't about trying. Once we do this, this is it – for the rest of our lives, till we die. Can you handle it?"

(Henry) "Are you trying to scare me?"

(Catherine) "Scared already? This isn't for you, Henry," she said, resigned and dejected.

(Henry) "Fine! Then, I'm going," he said as he turned around and pretended to leave.

"Henry!" Catherine called out, unsure whether she wanted him to leave or stay.

(Catherine) "Every time we have tried to mend our relationship, we have only damaged it more. Why do you want to do this?"

(Henry) "Because I can't escape you…I don't want to escape you. I still have the same desires, the same dreams – adventure, excitement, all of it – but I want them with you and you alone. I want to conquer the world, but with you by my side, your hand in mine. What are you afraid of, Catherine?" he asked gently. "I'm not going to leave you. I love you. And I can say that without hesitation, without fear because that is the truth. And you…you deserve that love, _my_ love…I will spend every second, every moment, giving you the love you deserve. I promise, Catherine…to love you all my life…till the day I die…and even after that…"

Henry took her hands in his. "Catherine, I do not know what the future holds for us; whatever that may be, I know _together_ we will make it beautiful…but if you are not with me, neither my present nor future will be complete. If I lose you, I will lose myself because _you_ are my peace, my pain, my love, my life…And I only ask you to allow me to give myself to you, allow me to _live_ for you, allow your faith to restore me."

Her brushed her hair away from her face. "Today I realized that time does not stop for anyone. It flies past us, and _we_ get left behind…And before I get left too far behind, I want to spend my remaining time with you. I am happy with you, Catherine. In my mind, we are already bound together."

Though Catherine had a smile on her face, her eyes were brimming with tears. Henry struggled to decipher her – was that a pained smile, a regretful one, or a happy one? He could not tell. But he hoped that he had gotten through to her, that his words, his love had found a way to her heart.

(Henry) "I just gave such a long speech…The least you could do is clap!" he teased. "Catherine, say something –"

Catherine flew into his arms. There was too much history with Henry – both happy and sad. How their past would affect their future, she did not know. But something had changed this time…and she let her hope flutter again. They stayed locked in each other's arms under the stars for what seemed like an eternity.

(Henry) "Catherine…"

(Catherine) "Hmm?"

(Henry) "I need you to do two things for me… Firstly, I need you oversee the renovations of my chambers…" answering her puzzled look, he continued, "Make it fit for a King _and_ Queen. I've already ordered the work to begin, but I want _you_ to make it _ours_..."

Catherine nodded her head, surprised and appreciative – grateful that she was finally going to be rid of all of the reminders of Henry's indiscretions.

(Henry) "Secondly, would you allow me to stay in your chambers seeing as mine are inhabitable at the moment… You may decline my request… I shall find other quarters…I just thought…"

(Catherine) "Henry…

(Henry) "Hmm?"

(Catherine) "You may stay with me…"

LinaOso, the sun is out, so here is some happiness =) I'm really glad that you liked the part about Madeleine. Historically, she died less than two months after she left for Scotland. So, I thought using her would lend some poignancy to Henry's words. Thanks for the review!


	9. Chapter 9

As they entered her chambers, Henry turned to the guard briefly. "Nobody is to rouse us in the morning. It is already quite late, and both my queen and I need our rest. We shall summon our servants when we awake. Till then, _nobody_ – I repeat nobody – is to disturb us."

(Guard) "Yes, my lord, as you command."

Catherine glanced over her should as her husband shut the door behind him, and her face contorted into a grimace. Had she sent him the wrong message by allowing him to stay, she worried. "Henry…" she started, sounding slightly disturbed. "Henry…I don't think…we…" She took a breath to gather her thoughts. "Not tonight," she said resolutely.

Henry smiled to himself – his wife had always been so strong, so determined, so rooted in her convictions. He had fallen in love with these very qualities years ago, but had lost his appreciation for them as they battled each other during their tumultuous relationship…an appreciation that came flooding back in this new chapter of their lives. He sensed her apprehension as he walked toward her. Her posture changed as she braced herself; afraid that he was going to ignore what she said, she readied herself to push him away.

Henry gently placed his hand on her cheek, and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I know, Catherine. I understand. We are going to do this right this time; _I_ am going to do this right this time." His comforting smile put her at ease.

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Catherine had fled to her chambers the first chance she got. She held onto to the nearest chair – her knuckles turning white – trying not to crumble as the panic took over her entire body – her heart raced, her head hurt, her hands trembled, her legs weakened, and her breathing was rapid and shallow. She didn't know why this happened, but every once in a while her nightmares would be triggered. Sometimes it would be from the draft that suddenly chilled her bones; other times it would be from the smell of moldy walls… or flashes of a wicked grin… or the smell of a particular wine on someone's breath…or the texture of a beard as its owner kissed her hand in obeisance…or one of a million other occurrences. Tonight it had been the laughter that had rung out beside her, one that eerily resembled that of those animals. It took her back to the terrors of her attack – the many hands pawing at her, her defenseless pleas to stop, the searing pains through her body, the shock of the hard, cold stone against her exposed skin as her clothes were torn away…STOP she commanded herself. Clenching her eyes shut, she desperately willed herself to forget her horrendous memories, her suffering… her shame.

She spun around terrified when she heard the door swing open, momentarily forgetting that she was in the safety of the French court now. Henry… Her husband strode into her chambers. It had been months since they had been together. In that time he was always kind when they spoke, but he had remained in his chambers with Diane. Both Henry and Catherine had maintained their distance during those months, awaiting even the slightest indication of reconciliation from one another. They frustration had mounted exponentially as the years wore on in their marriage – his from trying so many different treatments to conceive; hers from the continued failure of those treatments. That night, in her overwhelming panic, she had clutched Henry's wrist, trying to steady herself, trying to compose herself. He had mistaken that as an invitation to settle their differences…and something more.

Catherine tried to calm herself down as Henry made his way directly toward her. Although he was aware that her captors in Florence had called for her to be shared, she had never told her husband the full extent of her trauma, lest he forsake her, lest she appear damaged. He had seen the scars on her body, but not on her soul; she had never allowed him that…and she wasn't about to show him now.

Henry immediately wrapped his arms around her, raining kisses on the side of her face and slowly moving to her neck. "Henry," she protested, "not tonight." Either not hearing what she said or perhaps simply ignoring it, Henry feverishly continued. He buried his face deeper into the slope of her neck as his hands wandered her body, trying to find the right buttons and ties to release in order to undress her.

(Catherine) "Henry…Henry stop…Henry stop…Henry…," she begged as she tried to angle her body away and wriggle out of his hold. He pushed forward. Her voice and movements became increasing frantic. "Henry…stop…please…please stop…STOP!" With all her might, she pushed him away from her. Suddenly winded, she struggled to catch her breath and she firmly commanded. "Stop! I said _not tonight_."

Henry slammed his fist against the table beside him, unleashing his frustration and anger.

(Catherine) "No need to pout, Henry. I have only denied you for one night. I am sure Diane will gladly make up for my absence in your bed."

(Henry) "QUIET! QUI-ET! I have heard enough of your excuses and denials!"

Henry's voice echoed in the otherwise unsettling silence that surrounded them.

(Henry) "Catherine, do you remember when was the last time we came close to one another? When, Catherine? Huh?" His strides began to close the distance between them. "When? When was the last time that we touched each other? Held one another's hands? Embraced one another? Anything…anything at all? Do you remember?" His rising anger darkened his face. "When was the last time we spent the night together in the same chambers? Do you remember?"

Catherine averted her eyes. Wanting to tell him her truth but unable to make herself do so, she instead simply said, "I don't remember anything."

(Henry) "You don't remember? Or you don't _want_ to remember?"

(Catherine) "I don't want to discuss this."

(Henry) "Why? You love discussing everything, don't you? From matters of state to my inability to impregnate you. So, let's discuss! Let's discuss why… why, after seven years of marriage, my wife does not want to sleep with me."

(Catherine) "Our relationship cannot grow simply by sleeping with each other, Henry! It can only grow when we embrace each other's happiness and pain. And when was the last time we did that? Huh? When, Henry? Husbands and wives do not just share beds with each other; they share their _lives_ with each other."

(Henry) "What?! HOW DARE YOU! Do I look like a man who only needs his wife's company in his bedroom? How dare you, Catherine! To embrace each other's happiness and pain, we have to embrace _each other_. And you have never done that. I am sick of your constant derision. If I were truly as weak or incapable as you make me seem, I would have broken a long time ago. I tolerate all this because I am strong."

(Catherine) "I've heard enough," she said turning away.

(Henry) "NO!" He grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him. His grip bore into her flesh. "Today, you cannot run away from your problems. You will have to tell me everything. The truth, tell me…Why did you marry me? Why? I married you because I believed we could love each other…we could build a life _together_…But why did you marry me, Catherine? Tell me! Tell me…why did you marry me?"

(Catherine) "Henry, leave me…Henry, please…You are hurting me, Henry…Henry…HENRY!"

Henry let her go and stepped back, his anger still searing into her. Henry's voice lowered, overcome by pain, "The truth is, Catherine, you never _married_ me…you just made a compromise…I am the biggest compromise of your life…One that you regret every day of your life, right?"

Catherine shook her head in denial; confused and hurt that he believed that, she was unable to find her voice.

(Henry) "Tell me…give me an answer…" His anger began to return as he stepped forward. "Forget an answer…you have nothing to give me…not love…not happiness…not affection…In fact, you haven't even been able to give me a child yet! And, in these seven years, I have never made you feel badly about that. Never!"

Catherine's eyes welled up as she felt the wind knocked out of her. "You just did, Henry…you just did…" She raised her hand, not meeting his gaze, and said, "Leave, Henry."

As Henry walked out, Catherine remained firmly rooted to her place, her entire energy directed toward preventing her tears from falling.

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She had always wondered if she should not have denied him that night, if things would have been different had she allowed him to continue. For a moment, Catherine had feared that denying him again tonight would trigger a repeat of that fight. But this time, Henry was different, she was different, and their relationship was different.

Catherine sat on the side of her bed, observing Henry, with tenderness in her eyes, as he carefully folded his coat of the chair and properly placed his boots beside it. He pulled at his shirt, untucking it from his trousers, before settling on the chaise.

(Catherine) "Henry, you don't have to…"

(Henry) "No, Catherine, it's alright. I want to earn your love, and my place beside you. And I am certain I will do that. Till then, I am simply happy that you have agreed to share your chambers with me." Catching her uncertainty, he continued, "Don't worry, Catherine! I want to see you happy, see your radiant smile light up our lives; I will not cause you any more sorrow."

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Catherine had stormed out of the ballroom, pained and upset, upon hearing Henry's joke. She knew that everyone at court, everyone in the country had been jeering and vilifying her behind her back. However, she had not expected her husband to join in. She had usually been able to ignore these taunts from those around her. She hated that she was so affected right now. She had barely reached her chambers when her emotions overcame her and she began to cry.

Henry caught up to her, and noticing her tears, tried to make amends.

(Henry) "Catherine...Catherine… Please give me a chance to explain. Catherine?"

(Catherine) "How dare you, Henry!" She spun to face him, her fury and hurt causing her to lash out like a wounded animal. "You have no right to make a mockery out of me."

(Henry) "Mockery? I was only trying to help you forget…"

(Catherine) "Forget? You of all people should know Henry that I can never forget, that the world will never let me forget…They will always remind me that I have yet to give you a child… eight years of marriage, and still no baby…they will always berate me about my inability to conceive. I just don't understand... Why won't people leave a woman in peace until she has a child? Is giving birth the only purpose we have in our lives? Without a child, is a woman's life so incomplete? So worthless?"

(Henry) "God, Catherine! What tangent are you going on?" Henry hit the wall in frustration.

(Catherine) "And you, Henry? I never expected you to behave like this. How could you act like one of them?"

(Henry) "Come on, Catherine," he said, exasperated. "Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill! This was just a minor joke…"

(Catherine) "This is not minor, Henry! This is about me, about our marriage, about our lives…And not everything in life is a joke."

Henry's voice rose. "So what should we do now? Should we stand around and quarrel?"

(Catherine) "Quarrel? Forget it, Henry. You never understand anything I say."

(Henry) "Of course I don't understand what you say. I thought if I joked about it you would feel less…"

(Catherine) "I would feel what, Henry? What is wrong with you? How could you even think that this would make me feel better? That this is what I want? Did you ever ask me what I want?"

(Henry) "I ONLY WANT TO SEE YOU HAPPY, DAMNIT!"

(Catherine) "AND YOU THINK THIS WILL MAKE ME HAPPY?"

(Henry) "Cleary, you aren't happy with just me, are you? COME ON… TELL ME. WHY ARE YOU QUIET NOW?"

"Ah!" Catherine let out a little gasp, as she felt a sharp sting in her abdomen. Clutching her stomach, she fell to the ground, doubled over in pain.

Henry flew to her outstretched hand. "Catherine? Catherine, are you alright? Catherine? GUARDS! GUARDS! GET A PHYSICIAN!"

Seeing Catherine's face contort in agony, Henry bent to pick her up, and take her to the bed. That's when he noticed…the blood in between her legs seeping through her gown. They had asked him to leave, but he could not move from her side. He held her hand throughout as the court physician's worked to save mother and child. There was so much blood…too much blood. And she had grown so pale as she clutched his hand tighter and tighter, tears falling out of the sides of her eyes. He could see her fighting not to scream, fighting to stop her body from betraying her. And he could do nothing… He was powerless, unable to protect her, unable to help her, unable to save her…or his child.

Despite the physicians' best efforts, Catherine miscarried. She had not known she was pregnant at the time, but suddenly her whole being was overcome with grief, mourning the loss of a baby that was never meant to be hers. Once the room emptied, she had clung to Henry, inconsolable for hours. "Our baby, Henry…our baby…he's gone…our baby is gone…," she cried.

As her body convulsed under her sobs, all he could do was wrap his arms around her, and make a desperate plea to God. He prayed for her happiness…begged for an end to her grief…bargained with God to stop her tears – willing to give all his happiness, his every breath in exchange. When she finally slipped into an exhausted sleep, Henry lovingly placed her head on the pillow and tucked her under the fur blanket on her bed before leaving her to rest.

He had walked in a trance to his chambers, stunned, his shirt still wet from her tears. Upon catching his helpless reflection in a mirror, he raised his fist, and punched it with great force – shattering the mirror and drawing blood from his knuckles. Although losing the baby had shocked him, Catherine's grief was what had troubled him most. Wrapping his hand in a kerchief, he poured himself a drink…and then another…and then another…and then another. He tried for days to numb the pain, to block out the images of that night with drink after drink after drink. Catherine was so deep in her own mourning that she was unable to care for him, and he continued to slip…

A servant had timidly roused Catherine. When she awoke, she forgot for a moment about her grief; and then, the memories came flooding back. She closed her eyes in sorrow as her hand immediately went to her belly, and took a deep breath.

"I am so sorry to wake you, Dauphine," the servant hesitated, "particularly when you need your rest…However, it's the Dauphin…and well, with the King away from the castle, there is nobody else he would listen to…"

Catherine found Henry sitting amongst some peasants just outside the palace walls. How he had ended up there, she would never know. He was completely inebriated, as were the men around him from the spirits he had no doubt shared with them. Their slurred voices became more audible as she approached the group.

(Henry) "I am not a good man. Listen! It's simple; I am not a good man. And when it comes to women, I am an immoral bast–" He stopped himself with a hand to his mouth.

Upon hearing Henry's language, one of the men around him quipped, "Hey! He's not so different after all. He's one of us."

(Henry) "Wait…so, you got what I wanted to say, right?... But once, just once in my life I tried to be a good man and made a promise to always make a woman happy, to always take away her pain…did I do something wrong?"

Another man piped up, "No, you didn't."

(Henry) "I did…of course I did…I made a big mistake…such a big mistake that I broke her heart…and as punishment, I had to watch helplessly as she suffered, as she was pained, as her one dream – our child – was mercilessly snatched from her… The tears… The tears welled up and fell straight from her heart… I made her cry…"

The first man spoke again. "You made her cry? Very bad!"

Henry took a deep breath. "When her tears stream down here [he motioned his hand down his cheek], why do I ache here [he pointed to his heart]? They're her eyes, her tears…and it aches here [he tapped his chest]?...Is this justice?"

"No!" they responded.

(Henry) "Yes it is! This is justice. Or else the burden of both tears and pain would be there with her…what justice would that be?...It would only be justice if both her tears and her pain were here with me…Understand?"

"Yes!"

"What can you understand?...She says that I don't understand anything…If I never understand anything, how did I understand that I am no match for her…that I will never be able to wipe her tears…I will never be able to protect her from pain…that I am not good enough for her? Understand?"

"Yes, understood…you are here…and she is with you…"

(Henry) "No, she isn't…"

"She is with you…" They motioned toward Catherine.

Henry turned around to find Catherine standing behind him. "Hide the alcohol. No drinking in front of a lady," Henry commanded, trying to hide the evidence of his bad behavior. He then reconsidered, "But I can drink because I am not a good man. Give it back to me."

(Catherine) "Henry, come home with me," she told him gently.

(Henry) "Catherine, I am not a good man…I am not a good man."

Nevertheless, he followed Catherine back to the castle. Arriving at her chambers, he had promptly fallen asleep on her chaise. She neither had the energy nor the strength to corral him to the bed. So, she laid a soft cover on him and let him sleep there. Her eyes remained fixed on him till she drifted to sleep.

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The Henry that slept on her chaise now still had traces of the Henry from years ago. He still wanted to make her happy; he still wanted to protect her from pain. Many years ago, he had unknowingly brought her back from the edge of her despair; today, he did so willingly.

As she watched the rise and fall of Henry's chest, she felt as though there was life left in her yet. Her heart, which had become so encased in sorrow and pain, had found a renewed beat. It was being cajoled to open again like an angry child's smile is cajoled out of him. Her wounds were slowly being treated. A new beginning was before her…close enough to touch. And she did not know whether she should kiss her joys or weep for the many years lost.

In Henry's love, it felt as though she had found shade from the scorching sun. For so long, she had felt adrift, lost to the world, unsure what her future would hold. But today…today a new bond had called out to her, a bond from her past guiding her to her future. Despite the sting of their past, this new hope had found the little sliver of life still within her…Should she finally let herself live a little?


	10. Chapter 10

Henry stirred from of his slumber. Blinking lazily, he tried to focus on the distant voice calling to him. "Henry…Henry…It's very late...you better wake up now…Henry?" a small hand shook his shoulder trying to rouse him. He breathed in the smell of Lily-of-the-valley that surrounded him; her scent was heavenly. "Henry, darling, wake up." He sighed – there could be nothing sweeter in this world than the saccharine lilt in her voice, he thought. For the first time in many years, Henry awoke with a smile, Catherine's face beaming before him.

(Henry) "How long have you been awake?" he asked sitting up, noting that she was dressed and her hair done up.

(Catherine) "Long enough to know we have problems," she said, sitting before her dressing mirror to put on her jewels.

Henry groaned. "Problems already? But I just woke up."

(Catherine) "You are king, Henry. There will always be problems for you to deal with. Besides, it's almost noon. You are lucky to have missed at least half a day's problems," she said playfully.

(Henry) "Have you ventured out yet?" his voice sounding cautious and nervous. Why couldn't they just stay in here forever…lost in their own world?

Catherine took a deep breath, and shook her head in denial. She had not dared to leave her chambers. In fact, she had not seen anyone but the lady she had summoned for her morning refreshments and news of the court. She didn't want to be jolted from her dream – a happy life with Henry as man and wife, not just King and Queen.

When Catherine awoke this morning, she had basked in a romantic glow watching Henry sleeping so innocently on her chaise. But it hadn't been long before her mind had immediately leapt to the thoughts of those around them. The world outside her chambers could ruin them. It certainly hadn't been kind so far. It had successfully ripped them apart before; and it could very well do it again. And she wasn't ready to face it all. What would the court say? What would their children say? No doubt, the castle would be abuzz with rumors by now – about King Henry and Queen Catherine's fight, about them staying up so late, about them sharing her chambers last night, and about the renovations being made to his chambers. Speculations would be rife about what all this meant – for Henry, for Catherine, and for everyone else. They had been too naïve not thinking about all this earlier. How could they believe that they could wake up one morning and tell everyone that their lives, their marriage was back to normal? How could they expect everyone to just accept that? There were so many lives tied to their own; why had they only thought of themselves?

Catherine had been so lost in thought that she had not noticed Henry approach her.

(Henry) "Catherine…" He had startled her. "We are happy. Why are you so worried?"

(Catherine) "We are happy, but have you given a thought to how we are going to handle our _situation_? How everyone else is going to handle it?"

With a reassuring smile he asked, "Do you think I am a fool?"

(Catherine) "Only a little more than I am," she teased with a sheepish smile.

The turn in their relationship had done nothing to tame her spirit. Henry let out a hearty laugh; he loved their banter so.

(Henry) "Do you love me?"

Catherine's smile widened. "Only a little more than you do."

(Henry) "So what's there to worry about? When you are with me, we can win over the world. Besides, we are King and Queen of France – and rather intimidating ones if I may say so myself – no one would dare say anything, especially if you give them one of your dangerous glares."

(Catherine) "You might have broken my glare." Ah! Her pout, he thought…he would sacrifice all the riches in the world for that little pout.

(Henry) "Maybe I can kiss it better." He lay a soft, tender kiss on her lips…lingering for moment…long enough for their hearts to beat as one, before breaking away. "Give me a moment to dress, and then we can take on the world together."

(Catherine) "Once you dress _and_ eat," she said nodding to the food on the table. "_then_, we can take on the world together."

As he walked to the chest of clothes that he had ordered moved to Catherine's chambers the night before, Henry was contemplative, unsure about what he should wear, unsure about what Catherine would like him to wear. He felt like a young boy trying to impress his first love again. He was renewed, refreshed, reborn. Why had it taken so long? Why had he wasted so much time? Now, no more would be lost. No one would come between them; he would not allow them.

(Henry) "So, what is the big problem today?" he asked, munching on a scone.

(Catherine) "A dowry dispute. Lord David, Duke of Anjou refuses to marry his betrothed Lady Nicole, daughter of Vicomte Olivier de Turenne. Seeing the Vicomte's vast fortune, he expected many _gifts_ not negotiated as part of the dowry. The wedding is in a few days, and Lord David is raising an issue now, threatening to break the engagement."

(Henry) "Why is this ridiculous problem being brought to us? We are rulers, not matchmakers."

(Catherine) "If the engagement is broken last minute, Lady Nicole and her family will be disgraced. Vicomte Olivier will use any means necessary to avenge this dishonor. As you know, Lord David's family is extremely powerful and well-connected, and the Vicomte's wealth and influence can buy him any army. We could have civil war on our hands, Henry."

(Henry) "All over a dowry?! Don't those imbeciles know we have more important things to worry about?! The English queen is dying; Mary needs to be groomed to stake her claim on the English throne; we are under constant threat from all sides. And they want us to sit here and negotiate a marriage agreement?! Perhaps I should just have one of my councilors sort it out."

(Catherine) "Half your privy council has grown up with Lord David, and the other half hates him. Half of them are indebted to Vicomte Olivier, and the other half does business with him. You are not going to get a good solution from any of your councilors. It's now up to you to find a suitable remedy."

(Henry) "No, it's up to _us_. You are my equal…maybe even my superior in some ways," he said with a twinkle in his eyes, recalling their recent exploits dealing with Duchess Cecelia's death."

(Catherine) "I am sure many in France would disagree with you."

(Henry) "I am sure you can convince any dissenters…you can be _very_ persuasive."

By the time the King and Queen of France arrived in the Throne Room the entire court had gathered there – every servant, every courtier, every visitor – everyone who could be there, was there…waiting, watching, wondering if the rumors were true... If they were, neither the King nor the Queen revealed anything with their stoic expressions.

(Henry) "Lord David, Vicomte Olivier, is this dispute really worthy of a King's time?"

(David) "Your Majesty," he said in a syrupy voice as he performed a sycophantic bow. "I truly believe I have been wronged. A titled noble like myself must be honored according to my stature. Vicomte Olivier's measly favors are simply not sufficient. And only a great and just King like you can find a fair solution."

(Olivier) "Not sufficient? Or not satisfactory? Your Majesty, I am a businessman. I know how to evaluate a man's value. I have given the Duke exactly what he is worth."

(Henry) "Hmm…what say you, Catherine? What is your verdict?"

A murmur ran through the room. Had the King just asked the Queen to openly rule on this matter? The Queen had previously offered advice to the King, but he had always made the final decision. She had previously maneuvered behind the scenes, but he had never allowed her to take center stage. Had the sun risen from the west today, they wondered.

Francis and Mary glanced at each other, acknowledging the sudden shift they were witnessing before them. The rumors had been right after all – Henry and Catherine's suddenly seemed so… different. Francis's body tensed. Was his father toying with his mother? Was he simply using her to satiate his latest whim? If so, Francis would protect her at all costs.

Catherine herself had been caught off guard by Henry. They had not discussed her deciding such a precarious issue, especially because the nobles were not fond of her. Henry had never given her power over them before, and she had not expected him to do so now. Regardless, she pressed forward – hesitation would be seen as a sign of weakness, and she could not allow that.

(Catherine) "Lord David, how much are you worth?"

(David) "I… beg your pardon, Your Majesty."

(Catherine) "How much wealth do you have?"

(David) "I have several hundred acres of land, five castles, and countless gold ducats in my treasury. I own several ships, horses, priceless pieces of art, and a title and position at court."

(Catherine) "Who doesn't, Lord David? Vicomte Olivier has double that wealth. Could you tell us what extraordinary feat you have accomplished that allows you to make such extravagant demands for your wedding and dowry?"

(David) "I am a titled man!"

(Catherine) "Oh really?! Congratulations! So?" she patronized.

(David) "So…so it is customary to do all this, especially for a man with an important title. Forgive me, Your Majesty, but if I recall correctly, this was the same arrangement for your marriage as well as the Dauphin's recent nuptials. Your relationship was contingent on a dowry, as is mine," he responded, irritated by the humiliation.

(Catherine) "Firstly, we are rulers. Our marriage contracts affect the fate of nations, and are not reliant on a petty, arrogant man's whims and fancies. Secondly, Francis and Mary love each other very much. Their marriage is not merely a business transaction. As for my marriage, it would be wise for you not to comment on your rulers, Lord David. You wouldn't want to say the wrong thing and cross us." Besides, her dowry had not salvaged her marriage, she thought to herself. In fact, she had almost been sent back to Italy when Pope Paul III refused to pay her dowry. The agreement that had brought Henry into her life had only poisoned her marriage with an unstable foundation. It was time to put all that behind them now. But could they? It was clear from the tone in Lord David's voice that the people around them would not allow Henry and Catherine to forgive and forge ahead in their relationship so easily.

(Catherine) "Take a good look at Lady Nicole. She is beautiful, talented, intelligent, graceful, well-read, well-educated, and much more. And you… you are a toad…a boorish toad at that." Henry struggled to suppress his chuckle; his wife was a master with insults – a real firecracker when she wanted to put someone in their rightful place, and Henry himself had been burned many times before. Catherine continued. "You can barely hold an interesting and intelligible conversation. If it weren't for your inherited title and wealth, you would not be worth anything. If this marriage had not been arranged, do you really believe that a man like you would have wooed a woman like Lady Nicole?"

(David) "Your Majesty! This has gone too far!" he said, exasperated and indignant.

(Catherine) "No, there is more," she said with a smile. Lord David closed his mouth and averted his eyes as Catherine spoke. "Do you have any idea how much effort Vicomte Olivier and his family have put in to prepare for this wedding? He has imported fabrics and jewels from distant lands, called in performers and chefs from around the world, and has meticulously sought out the best of everything for you and his daughter. And you decide to throw a tantrum over a few "gifts"? Have you no self-respect, shamelessly begging for a larger dowry? Are you incapable of providing for yourself and your future wife without a few extra scraps from your future father-in-law? Are you really that worthless as a husband and as a seemingly powerful, titled man?"

Lord David's was flabbergasted as he opened and shut his mouth several times trying to counter. The Queen had never been so brazen. Although she had always made her opinions of people known, it had been disguised and never in open court. What was King Henry thinking allowing his Italian wife to rule on French matters?

(David) "Your majesty," he said, trying to address the king, "The Queen is too dominating. She cannot treat a nobleman li–"

(Catherine) "Now, Lord David, you have two options: you can hold on to the shred of respect you have left and marry for the agreed upon dowry; or you can lose a wonderful woman like Lady Nicole over a few extra ducats…Well?"

(David) "Uh…"

(Catherine) "Go on. Out with it!"

(David) "Uh…yes…"

(Catherine) "Yes, you want to break your engagement?"

(David) "No…no, I mean I want to marry her."

(Catherine) "So, it's settled then? No more tantrums?"

Lord David nodded his head in assent, still dazed and confused about the whirlwind Catherine had unleashed.

(Henry) "Good! Now that that is settled, Vicomte Olivier, would you still like to marry your daughter off to Lord David? Before you answer, take a moment to consider if this is his behavior before the wedding, do you really trust him to care for your daughter after the wedding? Do you believe they will have a happy marriage?"

The faces of every one present registered shock…taken aback by the sudden and sincere compassion in King Henry. The temperamental king and queen had never bothered to care about the lives of others before. But the King Henry and Queen Catherine that was before the court today were not as they used to be. When they opposed each other, they had brought out the worst in each other. But now…now they are allowing their strengths to flourish.

(Olivier) "I beg your pardon, Your Majesty, breaking a betrothal would be devastating. Besides, what does happiness have to do with it?"

Henry glanced over at his wife with a pained grin, tinged with regret and remorse. "Surprisingly, a lot more that we care to admit. You are right; a broken betrothal can sting, but that pain will only be temporary till your daughter is married. But a broken relationship…a broken marriage can tear her soul apart. I know you have raised your daughter with love and care. I only ask that you take a moment to consider what is truly best for her instead of what others will think and say. Is Lord David really the right man for her? If he is, then I look forward to attending the magnificent wedding feast you have arranged. If not, then I am certain you will find a man worthy of your daughter's hand. You needn't decide now, but certainly consider it."

Henry and Catherine remained in perfect harmony for the rest of the audience. Unlike before, they were not jostling for power; there was no game of one-upmanship; there were no veiled insults. They ruled together – in sync – working with each other instead of against each other. And the King treated Catherine like a Queen, his Queen. There had been a shift, a quiet, but drastic one. The court knew now that the King's affections for his wife had returned. He had made it obvious for all to see. They were one; she was his equal.

Mary leaned toward Francis and whispered, "How odd! Their behavior is so strange, so unlike them! What in the world is going one?" Francis did not respond. He did not understand what he had witnessed before him. He did, however, understand his father. It was only a matter of time before his father tired of this, so Francis was going to stop it before his mother was callously tossed aside again…before she was hurt again.

**AN**: I know this chapter is not as charged as some of the previous ones. I wanted to set it up so that the French court clearly understood that Henry and Catherine's relationship had changed, but I didn't think these two would shed their regal airs and go around publicly engaging in affectionate displays. Instead, I thought it would be more natural if it comes from him subtlely acknowledging her strengths in public and sharing his power with her, particularly because the French (especially the nobility) taunted Catherine for being Italian and therefore beneath them. There are definitely more charged happy days coming though as Henry tries to win her back. I also plan on bringing in other characters, like Francis and Diane, for some conflict. So, bear with me if this chapter wasn't up to your speed. Let me know what you guys think of where I am taking this story!

LinaOso, I am thrilled you liked Chapter 8! I had the biggest smile writing it too! I hope I captured some of Henry's swagger there. Catherine losing her baby was heartbreaking to write, but I wanted to show Henry's lingering love for her even as they grew apart. Hopefully you like where this story goes from now on!

demedicigirl, You just gave me a new book for my summer reading list! I am sure my writing is nowhere near that of a published author, but I am honored you liked the way I wrote that sequence. Catherine does not leave Henry (I hope you didn't miss Chapter 8!) for now, but I can't say one of them won't leave the other in the future.

unnamed visitor, Thank you so much for your kind words! I am so glad you like this story so far! There will definitely be more present day sequences now that they are trying to build their relationship, but there will still be some flashbacks so that they can relive the love and contrast the pain. Also, you took the words right out of my mouth. The plague is coming! But it won't be for a while. We'll just have to see how they deal with it =)

Beawild, I adore these two! If I had been in charge of Reign, it would be The Catherine-Henry Awesomeness Hour all day every day – filled with intrigue, dead bodies, and passionate love/hate chemistry. But alas, I have to settle for fanfic instead. I almost climbed into my screen and punched him when he broke her heart on his deathbed, so I'm not going to have him hurt her – not intentionally at least. I hope you enjoy his attempts to win her back!

Guest, Thank you for liking my writing! I have a bunch of chapters in mind. So, I'm going to be updating as soon as I can write each of them down. I hope you keep enjoying them!


	11. Chapter 11

**AN**: I wanted to pay homage to one of my favorite authors, J.K. Rowling in this chapter. I hope you guys like the little Easter egg hidden in here.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Reign or any of the characters. I do not own Harry Potter. This is just fanfiction.

"Henry! How much stuff do you have?" Catherine exclaimed as she walked into her room. The remainder of Henry's possessions had been brought to her chambers…and they were everywhere. This would not do! She could barely see the floor in some parts. "Henry, we have to…"

(Francis) "What is the meaning of all this?" Francis stormed into Catherine's chambers with Mary in tow. "What are your intentions, Father? Why are you acting this way with Mother?"

(Henry) "My intentions are perfectly noble, Francis…marriage, really… It's just I won't take any dowry…I am anti-dowry now," he joked.

(Francis) "Mother, what is he talking about?"

(Catherine) "Henry, what _are_ you talking about?"

(Henry) "Catherine, what is _he_ talking about?"

(Mary) "Wait! What are you _all_ talking about?"

Francis clicked his teeth. "You know what, Mary, I am starting to fear walking around this castle now. God knows what I'll see next from you, Father."

(Henry) "Forget walking around the castle son, you shouldn't even leave your chambers. The world is filled with evil these days," he said with a laugh.

(Catherine) "Henry!" she chided. "Francis, we…"

(Francis) "Huh! So, it's 'we' now?"

(Catherine) "Your father and I…"

(Henry) "Francis…your mother and I…" he started, carefully picking his words. "We…we are trying to rebuild our relationship, our marriage. Last night, I decided…"

(Francis) "To partake in this farce for some temporary entertainment, right?" His anger and protectiveness climbed by the minute, causing the mood in the room to darken. "And, of course, you didn't need to consider Mother's feelings, her reputation? After all, who is she to you? Just your wife? What place does she even have in your life? She is just here to support your decisions and play the part of your queen. Isn't that right, Father?" Francis moved to position himself beside Catherine, fuming as he glared at Henry. "This one decision of yours can drastically change her life. But why…why would you even bothering considering that?"

(Mary) "Francis…" she tried to calm him, to stop him from spewing the venom that had been bottled inside him for so many years.

(Francis) "No, you wouldn't give that a second thought. Because King Henry only thinks about himself…his conquests…his wishes…his happiness…Right?! It's always about you, you and only you!"

Henry watched his wife's face grimace as the pain, the heartache, the sorrows came flooding back. He knew Francis was angry. Francis had long been aware of his father's dalliances. Catherine had tried to shield him as long as she could, but he had inevitably found out the truth about his parents' marriage, about his father's many infidelities. He had watched as his mother was humiliated and hurt by the many women his father entertained. But through it all… despite it all, Catherine had held on to her dignity and pride. Francis would not allow his father to take that from her now.

(Henry) "Francis, I know I have not been the best husband or father. But I promise you, this time, it's only about your mother, your siblings, you…it's about our family and only our family. Just listen to me..._believe_ me. I am only thinking about your mother…this family. I have removed all else from my life."

Francis scoffed. "So, after all these years you decide to throw some affection her way like some charity…are you trying to show off your magnanimity?"

(Henry) "No, Francis, I'm not trying to show anything off," he said, trying to pacify his son. "I am baring my heart…trying to prove myself to you and your mother."

(Francis) "Heart? Do you even have a heart, Father? What heart do you speak of? You have to stop this now! I will not stand idly by as you toy with my mother to your heart's content, and then discard her for another plaything. I will not allow you treat her like the other women in your life. It is best if you leave from here."

(Henry) "Catherine…" Henry turned to his wife, looking for help, but Catherine was unable to speak, to intervene as the two men in her life fought for her happiness.

(Francis) "Don't, Father! Don't you dare look for her support! You have no right to treat her like this! I know how she has struggled. I have witnessed her sorrow as she and she alone raised us. You certainly had no time from your amusements. You speak of our family now? Did you ever have time for Mother? For us? Did you?"

(Henry) "You're right. I never made time for any of you. In my folly, in my arrogance, I have made many mistakes. I know that. I am only asking for a chance to make up for the time I lost."

(Francis) "That time is never coming back, Father. Mother was both our mother and our father because you could never be bothered. She has given us all the happiness that you could never deign to do so. And now, you may be our king, but you are father in name only."

Henry's face struggled to mask his pain.

(Francis) "How did that sound, Father? It hurts, doesn't it? That's the same pain I have watched you inflict on my mother for years now…Now you know how it feels. You have given her nothing but pain and sorrow. Because of you, I grew up believing that you hurt those you love the most…But, that's not true – Mary taught me that…You…You don't love Mother at all…You don't love anyone. You only have hate to give…to yourself… to your life…to your relationships…And…I have yet to understand what angers you more, the hate that surrounds you or the love that surrounds Mother. You have failed, and I will not let you bring Mother down with you."

(Henry) "You're right, Francis. I have failed. I see that now. I did not know how deep the wounds were that I inflicted on you and your mother. Yes, there were other women in my life. But that is all in the past now. I want to give your mother the honor and respect she deserves. I will spend the rest of my life trying to right my wrongs. I want to see her in her rightful place as my wife _and_ my queen. I have asked her to forgive me, and I beg you to do the same."

(Francis) "If she had done what you did, would you have forgiven her? No, you wouldn't. You would never forgive her. You do not know how many times I have watched my strong, fierce mother hide her tears from me…from you…from the world. I have heard the many taunts hurled behind her back as you flaunted your exploits in court. I have never once stopped you. But I will not tolerate you indulging your whimsy with her only to forget these promises when someone else catches your eye."

(Henry) "Francis, I'm sorry…but all that is in the past now. None of it matters…"

(Francis) "It matters to me! You can apologize all you want, but apologies are for mistakes…What punishment should you get for selfishness? You don't love her…you have selfishly kept her away from love all these years. This incomplete relationship, incomplete marriage has never brought her any happiness. It wasn't her fault, and yet she was the one punished for all this. I will not let that happen again. You…you have to stop...you have to leave."

Catherine watched helplessly as her son walked out. Francis had always been such a good boy…such a good son. When he had been young, he would gently wipe her tears when he caught her crying. He would then run off and return in his little play armor to fight the monsters that had troubled her. He wasn't playing anymore; he truly wanted to fight the monsters he believed were troubling her…and to him, that monster was Henry.

(Henry) "Catherine, I…"

As Catherine met his gaze, Henry saw the sadness return to her eyes. Suddenly, it felt as though coldness was filling the space between them. "Catherine, I…" he began again as memories of days past flooded his mind. The sounds of Francis laughing, his glee as he spoke to the baby in Catherine's belly, his sloppy kisses, his warm embrace…what had happened to that boy? Where was he lost? The sorrow had remained hidden in Francis's heart for so many years. Will it ever decrease? Will it ever go away?

(Catherine) "Let me talk to him…" she said as she walked out.

Catherine found Francis standing near the fountain in the garden by the chapel. She knew he would be there; he loved going there as a child. It was small and secluded, and something about the fountain always had a calming effect on him. When he was younger, he would pull Catherine away from his siblings to have picnics in this garden…just the two of them. He had also run there the first time he caught his father kissing Diane. He had left his innocence in the solace of this garden, and had never returned to retrieve it.

(Francis) "Why are you letting him do this? He will never change…and you will become a laughing stock for trusting him. Why do allow him to do this to you?" he said, his back to her.

(Catherine) "Francis…"

(Francis) "No, mother. You cannot let him. _I_ will not let him."

(Catherine) "Francis, please…just listen…"

(Francis) "Is the pull so strong?"

The same question she had asked him about Mary a few months ago was now being directed to her. Although Francis was kinder, more compassionate than she was, in many ways he was his mother's son. And just as he was unreasonable in his love, she was in hers.

(Catherine) "Francis, please…just listen for a moment." When Francis did not speak, she walked to stand by his side. "Do you remember when you were child you had come running to me to ask me what 'love' was?"

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Francis had raced into his mother's chambers, speaking a mile a minute as he jumped into the seat next to her.

(Catherine) "Careful…careful, Francis, or else you will hurt the baby in mama's belly."

(Francis) "Why do you have another baby in your belly, mama? Charles only just came out!"

Catherine let out an amused laugh. "Well…I want to make sure you have lots of brothers and sisters to play with. Now, tell me all about your lessons," she hastily changed the subject.

Francis rested his head in her lap, and brought her hand to his forehead, urging her to stroke his hair back. He loved when she did that.

(Francis) "I had my lessons with Mary today."

(Catherine) "Hmm…I see. And did you enjoy spending time with her?"

(Francis) "No! She has an opinion about everything! And the governess takes her side on everything," he huffed.

(Catherine) "Well, I'll just have to send Mary away then if she keeps contradicting my son," she teased playfully.

(Francis) "That won't be necessary! I already showed her."

(Catherine) "Francis, what did you do?"

(Francis) "Nothing! I just raced her. We said the loser had to keep quiet for an entire day. And I won. She has skinny legs, so she can't run as fast as I can. And did you know she's missing her two front teeth. She says everyone's teeth will eventually fall out. Will mine fall out too?"

(Catherine) "Yes, yours will fall out too. But don't worry, you'll grow new ones."

For a moment, Francis lay quietly in her lap with his eyes closed. Catherine savored those treasured seconds. It was so serene, so tranquil. The sun's rays streamed in through the open window; the curtains danced in the gentle breeze. And her son was with her, happy and carefree. There was nothing more she wanted…there was nothing else she wanted.

(Francis) "Mama?"

(Catherine) "Hmm?"

(Francis) "What is love?" he asked cautiously, genuinely searching for an answer. "Mary's governess, Madame du Maurier, said Mary and I would love each other someday."

Catherine smiled at his innocence. "Love…Well...uh…love is this strange feeling that tugs at your heart… Love is finding happiness in someone else's happiness, sorrow in someone else's sorrow. Love is being at peace even when you heart is restless… Love is your two hearts beating as one."

(Francis) "And how will I know if I love her?"

(Catherine) "You'll know. You just will. You'll know when… even without wishing it, or wanting it, the two of you become important one another. When you would be willing to walk on thorns, or swim across oceans, or fight a hundred armies just to see her, you'll know you are in love… And when you are in love, the fire of your love will bring you light, will keep you warm in any storm you face in life."

(Francis) "That sounds awful! I don't want to walk on thorns, and I hate swimming! I have decided that I will not fall in love."

Catherine giggled. "Francis, you cannot _decide_ to fall in love or not. Love…just happens. You can watch your heart, guard it with all your might, but love will always find a way in. Without love, Francis, there is no life. Without love, a person is alone…lonely…Love… brings colors into your world…love brings happiness and beauty into your world… I too am certain that you will love Mary someday…and she will love you."

Francis's face scrunched up. "No! I cannot love Mary! She is a girl."

(Catherine) "Well…one day you will be married. Then, she won't just be a girl; she will be your wife and you will be her husband…and you will love her."

Francis contemplated what his mother had just said. "Do all husbands love their wives?"

Catherine assented, "Mhmm."

(Francis) "Does that mean papa loves you?"

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(Francis) "I remember your silence when I asked you whether Father loved you."

(Catherine) "That was a different time, Francis. He is really trying now."

(Francis) "He is going to leave you again. He is going to break your heart."

(Catherine) "Maybe so, but don't I owe it to myself to at least try? I do not want to regret not giving him a chance. Darling, I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I do not wish to spend the rest of my life wondering about might-have-beens.

I love you father, Francis. And he loves me. Our love is not perfect. It is filled with thorns and vipers. We are teetering on a precipice, and may very well fall of the edge at any moment. I know…I know all that... And yet, I cannot help myself. I cannot turn away from this love. I cannot leave it…it is my shadow, constantly with me.

Francis, please understand. Love and death both arrive uninvited. No one can control them. I would like to welcome one into my life before the other barges in. Who knows if there will be a tomorrow? I…"

(Francis) "You still love him?...After all these years?..."

(Catherine) "Always."

(Francis) "And what if he does not live up to that love?"

(Catherine) "Francis, your father used to say that a man should only choose to bow before three women in his life: Mother Mary, his own mother, and… Your father…he chose to bow before me…he chose to beg me to stay…

If your father does not change, then I will at least be at peace knowing that I tried to salvage our marriage with sincerity, honesty and the purest of intentions. If it does not work out this time, at least I will have a sense of finality."

(Francis) "Is this what you _really_ want?"

Catherine nodded. "I tried, Francis…I tried…to keep a watch on my heart, I tried to guard it, but it would not heed."

(Francis) "Mother, I only want to protect you. If this is what you want, then I will not stand in your way…but I want to speak to him first…alone…"

Henry and Francis stood before each other and God in the little chapel. Light flooded in from the windows that dotted the walls, while all else stood still.

(Francis) "Father, I do not know why you are doing this, but I am going to step aside for Mother's sake. But I swear before God, if you cause her more pain… I will not care that you are king, I will not care that you are my father. You will lose everything, and I will make sure of that… I truly want you both to be happy. If you are being true and honest, then I will be your greatest supporter. But if this is nothing more than a game to you, I implore you to back away now, before the damage is done."

(Henry) "Francis, in these twenty-five years, I have tried to distance myself from your mother, to forget her so that I did not have to admit that she controlled my heart, that she had absolute power over me. I did everything – knowingly and unknowingly, willingly and unwillingly – to sabotage our relationship because I believed my love for your mother made me weak, made me vulnerable. But after cheating myself of happiness and love for these many years, I found that while I may have let her go, my heart never abandoned her. You were right. I was selfish. I never understood her. But today… today she is my whole world…she always has been…always will be. I am not claiming to be perfect now. I am still as flawed as I was before; but the difference is that before I would talk about breaking relationships…and today I think about making them work. I will not lose your mother again, Francis. I will _always_ be with her. I assure you that."

(Francis) "I pray that you are telling the truth…for her sake…and yours."

(Henry) "It has taken me too long to realize this, Francis. Your mother…she is my heaven. I know I love her because my eyes see God reflected in her. I would walk across a road of thorns for her. I would swim a thousand leagues to spend a moment with her. There is no greater happiness to me than to see her smile; it calms the tempest in my heart. I promised her this, and I vow to you today, with God as my witness, I will honor her, I will cherish her, and I will give her the happiness she deserves every day for the rest of my life."

Henry stepped toward Francis, trying to bridge the distance between them. "I will be a good husband, Francis…and a good father. I may have lost my right to ask for your forgiveness, but I do not wish to lose my right to love you as a father. I will prove myself to you, son."

As Henry watched his son walk out, he prayed for the strength to bear his family's sorrow and anger. He prayed that he could end the wayward journey he had embarked on years before. He prayed he could collect the few breaths he had remaining and breathe new life into his old relationships. He should have known that happiness would never bloom in the shadows of sorrow and deceit. It was time for him to go home. It was time for him to right his wrongs.


	12. Chapter 12

(Catherine) "Darling, where are you taking me?"

(Charles) "You'll see, Mother. It's only a few more steps."

(Catherine) "Then, at least allow me to remove this blindfold."

(Charles) "No! That would ruin the surprise. And then fa– Oops! Nothing!"

(Catherine) "Charles…"

(Charles) "Yes, Mother?"

(Catherine) "What were you going to say? What is your father up to?"

(Charles) "Motheeeerrrr!" he lamented, "Please, stop asking questions."

(Catherine) "Very well. Just be careful. I am trusting you. Make sure I do not trip over my skirts or fall over my shoes. I do not want to tumble on the way to wherever we are going."

As they rounded the corner together, Catherine could tell they were no longer inside the castle. The air, the sounds were all sweeter outside the stuffiness of the palace. She could breathe easier out here. Were they walking along the outer wall of the palace? Or near a courtyard, perhaps? It had been a week since she had joined another one of her sons outside. It had been colder then as she had spoken to Francis, trying to help him understand. Though he had conceded to Henry and Catherine's wishes that night, Francis was still cautious, unconvinced about the changes in his father. Henry and Catherine themselves had been careful around one another. Though they continued to share her chambers and put on an united front in front of others, Henry had remained on her chaise instead of joining her in her bed. He had not wanted to test her or push her in any way. He knew he had not won her trust completely yet, and he was willing to wait until then. Perhaps the return of spring would bring with it renewed faith and hope…

(Charles) "We're here! You may take your blindfold off, Mother."

As she tugged at the cloth wrapped around her eyes, Catherine wondered why she suddenly smelled spices instead of flowers. Slowly opening her eyes, she was greeted by the sight of Henry standing before her, a cheerful smile lighting up his face.

(Henry) "Benvenuto, amore mio."

Catherine could not hide her pleased surprise at his Italian. "Grazie!" She glanced around her trying to gauge her surroundings. They were in one of the more secluded courtyards in the palace. She had always thought of it as a beautiful oasis in the midst of their treacherous surroundings. There was a long table at the center, beautifully decorated in red and gold cloth, ivory and gold place settings, and red roses. In the far corner was a fire pit, over which a servant slowly turned a lamb as it roasted on the spit. So that's where the aroma was coming from! From the look and smell of it, the meat was almost done cooking. A few feet away from the fire pit were a few chef's tables, covered in vegetables, utensils, knives, and other supplies. Apart from a few servants to wait on them, there was nobody else there. The courtyard itself had been shrouded in red and gold curtains, but Henry had decidedly not used a canopy so that they could watch the stars dance in the night sky.

(Henry) "Good job, soldier!" he said turning to Charles. "You have served your king well. However, I have another duty for you. Would you be so kind as to summon all of your siblings here? Francis, Mary, Claude, Henry, Hercule, and Margaret, but no servants or ladies-in-waiting or footmen or anyone else. If anyone protests, tell them the king has commanded that we will be dining here tonight. Godspeed! Bring them here as fast as you can, good man."

As Charles excitedly rushed off to find his brothers and sisters, Catherine addressed her husband, "Henry, what are…"

(Henry) "Happy Birthday!" he said, as he strode over to her and kissed her lovingly.

(Catherine) "You remembered?" She was taken aback.

(Henry) "You needn't look so surprised!" he teased.

(Catherine) "No, it's just…you didn't say anything all day…"

(Henry) "If I had…then this surprise would have been no fun. And your smile wouldn't have been this bright…or this enticing." He brought their lips together again, parting more slowly this time.

(Catherine) "So you didn't forget?"

(Henry) "Forget? How can one forget his every breath? Without you, dear wife, I was just a hollow man…one who was simply going through the motions of life, one with stone for a heart. But with you…my heart started to beat when you came into my life…and that would not have happened if it hadn't been for this day…I will _always_ remember this day."

Catherine smiled sweetly, relishing his attention. It wasn't as though Henry had forgotten her birthday all these years. He had simply chosen to ignore it in his anger and resentment. Every year, Catherine had feted the King of France on his birthday, just two weeks before her own; and every year, he sent a token present for hers, but avoided wishing her himself. He knew that this would not make up for all those years, but it would at least be a start.

"So…lamb?"

(Henry) "Moroccan spiced lamb, as promised."

(Catherine) "You promised me lamb _in_ Morocco."

Henry laughed. "Well, I also remembered how much you valued the comforts of home. This is the best of both worlds. And, I assure you, it will be delicious and just as good as it would have been in Morocco, if not better."

(Catherine) "My, my aren't we confident?"

(Henry) "I can guarantee that this will be the best Moroccan lamb you have ever had… especially because that you have never had any before! Now, I just have to quickly whip up a Hollandaise sauce for the asparagus and chop an onion for garnish before the children join us."

(Catherine) "You?"

(Henry) "Mhmm."

(Catherine) "You made all this? You're cooking again?"

(Henry) "Only for you."

(Catherine) "Henry…"

(Henry) "Hmm?"

(Catherine) "Thank you." She whispered with a smile. "How about I help you?" She offered as she quickly picked up an egg, and deliberately smashed it in her hand with a wooden spoon.

Henry's hearty guffaw rang out in the courtyard. "Even after all these years, is this how you Italians crack eggs?" He asked as he wiped her hand with a wet cloth.

(Catherine) "And how do you French do it?" she ribbed playfully.

Henry picked up an egg and lightly tapped it against her forehead. "Ouch!" Catherine protested, and Henry poured the contents of the shell into a bowl.

(Catherine) "And how do you whisk it?" Catherine settled herself on an empty spot on the table – her feet swinging a few inches above the ground – as Henry added some lemon juice and vigorously beat mixture.

(Henry) "And before you ask, this is how you make the sauce," he said, drizzling in butter while the bowl sat in simmering water.

(Catherine) "Hmm…good to know," she said, feigning interest. "And how do you chop onions in France?" Henry juggled two onions before deftly slicing them into perfect rings.

(Catherine) "You may as well dice a tomato or two as well. It will go great with the lamb."

(Henry) "You're just going to sit there while I do all work? Won't you at least do something?"

Catherine giggled. "Of course I will! I'll let you feed me." Henry and Catherine locked eyes for a moment; reliving the love they had shared years ago. But before either could act on it, they were interrupted.

(Francis) "Father? Mother?" His voice echoed in the courtyard as he entered with his siblings and Mary. "What is going on? Why are we dining here?"

(Henry) "Ah! You're all here! I thought we could have a cozy dinner as a family in honor of your mother's birthday."

(Mary) "But the court will be expecting us."

(Henry) "The court will always demand our attention. I know we are the royal family of France. But for too long we have been fixated on being _royal_ instead of being a _family_. Today, as a family, I want us to celebrate Catherine, not the Queen of France, but my wife and your mother."

Francis and Mary reluctantly nodded their assent as the younger children surrounded Catherine. The children were unsure how to conduct themselves in the presence of both their parents, particularly in such an informal setting. But – as Catherine had always told Henry – the warmth of family soothed their worries away.

(Francis) "So…shall we eat?"

(Henry) "Not yet. I have to pull the lamb off the spit first."

(Mary) "You? You made all this?" she asked incredulously as she exchanged confused glances with Francis.

(Henry) "Don't worry! If it's not edible, we can always rejoin the court for dinner."

(Charles) "Father, we didn't know you cooked!"

Henry smiled. "Only for your mother…"

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(Catherine) "Need some help?" she asked, inquisitively watching Henry work.

(Henry) "I didn't steal you away from the castle because I needed a sous chef. I stole you away so that I may indulge my wife on our anniversary. I'm almost done, so you just sit and wait."

(Catherine) "Are you really going to have me just sit here as you do all the work? At least let me do something!"

(Henry) "You can…let me feed you when this is done," he said cheekily, as he finished up. "I am forever in your napkin (_serviette_)…uh…I mean service (_servizio_)," he said in his broken Italian as he brought her plate to her.

(Catherine) "If this is any good, you are going to have to cook for me every week."

(Henry) "As you command. I promise…only for you…"

After their meal, they lay beneath the stars – away from the burdens of court. Henry had never done any of this before – cooking an entire meal on his own, sleeping beneath the stars…any of it. He would only do this for her…for his Catherine. In the hazy autumn night and dreamy mood, they forgot the world, and enjoyed their first anniversary together.

(Catherine) "That was delicious. Where did you learn how to make paella?"

(Henry) "Here and there. I just pick things up…especially when it comes to delicacies I find interesting. Food doesn't just nourish your body, you know; it nourishes your soul. Sometimes I think if I hadn't been a prince, I would have become a chef. I want to learn to make something from each corner of the world."

(Catherine) "If it makes you this happy, you should do this more often...and I'll be your taster."

(Henry) "Who has the time? The rigors of politics and all... Besides, it really throws off the life plan of a Prince of France."

(Catherine) "Prince of France…Don't let your title define you, Henry. It isn't your entire life; it's just a part of it. Do what makes you happy. Or else, when your future catches up with you tomorrow, you'll wonder where you lost today."

(Henry) "Not with you by my side. I don't know how you do it, but with you… it's as though every day holds a new treasure. I still find it hard to believe sometimes that a girl like you would marry someone like me."

(Catherine) "Someone like you?"

(Henry) "The things you want from life are so different…If our marriage had not been arranged, I would assume you would not be interested in someone like me. If you had a choice, you probably would not want a man who is constantly working and planning the fate of a nation."

(Catherine) "No one would want a man like that, Henry. He has no time to give anyone, including himself. He's a slave to the demands of the world."

(Henry) "And someone who only thinks about the future? He's clearly not the type of man you would want."

(Catherine) "A man who does not live for today – at least once in a while – well…he's a bore."

(Henry) "And someone who thinks money and power are the most important things in life?"

(Catherine) "You mean…someone like you…"

Henry suddenly turned sour in reaction to his own vulnerability. "Catherine, I know we've been married for a year, but you still don't know anything about me," he warned.

Catherine was not about to appease his childishness. "So?"

(Henry) "So… don't judge me," he said defensively.

She clicked her teeth "I wasn't judging you, Henry. I'm only asking you…Does money and power make you truly happy?"

(Henry) "Catherine, I was six years old when my father traded me as a hostage to Charles V. My brother and I were left to rot, helpless and powerless, as the negotiations dragged on for three years. I understood from a very young age that only money and power run this world. It's as simple as that."

(Catherine) "I understand, Henry. But you still haven't answered my question."

(Henry) "Yes, money and power make me happy."

(Catherine) "Then why did your face light up today as you were cooking? Why do you dream of adventure…of travelling to faraway lands? Has your title and position ever brought you such satisfaction, such pleasure? No, right? Think about it. Even with all this influence, all this wealth, are you happy? Even with all this in the palm of your hand today, do you feel something is missing?...What's missing, Henry? What do you really want?... Take time to enjoy those things that truly make you happy, that give you genuine joy…like cooking."

(Henry) "Yeah…well…that's the plan. I mean someday when I have everything, I'll…"

(Catherine) "Someday, Henry? You don't even know if you'll live till tomorrow. Seize the day, Henry. First, live this day to the fullest. Then, think about 'someday'."

Henry was silent, meditating on what Catherine had just said. He felt raw. She had a way of connecting to him, of getting him to listen and understand in a way no one else could. Marriage is so strange, he wondered. People spend their whole lives looking for love, when he was bestowed his as a gift on his wedding day.

(Henry) "This is silly!" he said, trying to change the subject. "Why are we just lying here when we can be comfortable in our own beds in our own chambers?"

(Catherine) "No, it's silly that you have never done this before."

(Henry) "What can I say? I have a comfortable, luxurious palace. What more could I want?"

Catherine's brow furrowed at his ridiculous sentiments. "Only someone who has never slept under the stars would say something so stupid... As a child, when I was living with my grandmother, I used to love counting the stars at night. I used to sneak out to the balcony and count till I fell asleep beneath the glittering sky. My grandmother used to say when people depart this earth, they become stars in the heavens above. I suppose seeing them sparkle in the sky made me feel closer to my own parents."

Henry clasped the delicate hand next to him. "You never fail to amaze me, Catherine…I should learn how to live from you. I feel like I have spent…I am spending my whole life in a closed box. But you…you're free…You're free, Catherine."

Henry did not notice the smile vanish from her face. He did not see the sorrows unspoken, unseen that clouded her eyes. He did not spot the sudden lump in her throat. And he did not catch her bite her lip to prevent it all from erupting from inside her…

(Catherine) "Henry…" she whispered, momentarily considering sharing her wounds with him…before dismissing that thought. She smiled, and intertwined her fingers with his. "A man should only be in a box once he is dead."

The silence settled around them for a moment, covering them like a blanket.

(Henry) "Catherine…I…"

(Catherine) "Hey! A shooting star!" she exclaimed.

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Henry pointed out the ball of light that streaked across the sky to his delighted children. "You know, your mother used to say… if you wish upon a falling star, your wish will come true."

(Claude) "Is that true, papa?"

(Henry) "Why don't you try? Go on all of you. Close your eyes and make a wish."

Catherine leaned toward her husband, and whispered, "You still believe in all this?"

(Henry) "Uh…no…no, of course not…You?"

She shook her head in denial…The two of them turned away from one another to furtively their wishes, sending their silent prayers to heaven.

Clearing his throat, Henry announced "Let's eat!"

As the children dove toward the food, Catherine remained still in her place...trying to free herself from Henry's hold. Unbeknownst to the others, Henry had caught her hand under the table as Catherine had reached for her fallen napkin. She tried to wriggle herself out of his playful grip, but Henry was unrelenting.

(Henry) "Come on, Catherine. Try some of the lamb," he said with an impish smile.

(Mary) "Yes, Catherine. You are awfully quiet today. All this is quite delicious. You must try it."

Still unable to free herself from his steadfast grasp, Catherine picked up a bite with her left hand.

(Francis) "Mother, why are you eating with the wrong hand?"

(Catherine) "Uh…Francis…I…"

(Henry) "Yes, Catherine, answer Francis. Why are you eating with the wrong hand?"

Catherine sighed at her mischievous husband, unable to reveal the truth behind her hesitation. "Food… is food, Francis. What difference does it make which hand I use?"

(Henry) "You've got a point. What difference does it make, Francis?" he asked, feigning innocence. As the meal continued, Henry laced his fingers through Catherine's… and not for a moment did he let her go.

That night as they lay awaiting slumber, Catherine could not help but let her heart out of its closed box again. She had shut her soul away years ago…buried it six feet below the ground…but here it was… being resurrected. Catherine had wanted to call Henry to her bed, but she had been afraid that he would desert her after he got what he chased. No…she would wait…until she was absolutely certain, she had hesitantly decided.

(Henry) "Catherine?" his voice resounded with a tickled laugh.

(Catherine) "Hmm?"

(Henry) "What did you wish for?"

Catherine laughed – he knew her too well…"Good night, Henry."

(Henry) "Good night, love."

**AN**: Sorry for the delay, guys! I finally have some time, so I'm going to write as fast as I can. I hope you all continue to enjoy this story.

LinaOso, as always, thank you for the review. There will be more protective Francis coming up!

Artemisia De Medici, I am so glad you like the story. It will continue to oscillate between sorrow and hope, but I definitely want to see more happiness so I'm going to try to bring some light into the story when I can.

Beawild, I had no idea Catherine had wrote about this in a letter to her daughter. I know in real life he really had been the love of her life, but Diane had always been with him from the first year of their marriage. Catherine really suffered more than she ever should have. I hope they introduce a new love interest for her – one that truly values and appreciates her! And I promise, you'll find out about Lady Nicole soon.

demedicigirl, I feel so special that you like this story so much! Chapter 11 was a little heavy with Francis confronting his father, so I wanted to throw in something silly in the beginning to balance it out a bit. I hope you keep enjoying this story!


	13. Chapter 13

"Your Majesty, Diane de Poitiers is here to see the king." Diane…the venom that had poisoned her marriage…her life. No doubt she has here now to reclaim Henry. That woman had been the root of Catherine's broken heart and her broken home. Henry had told her not to return, and yet here she was, not two weeks later. Would Catherine never be rid of this curse?

It had been barely a year into their marriage when Henry had officially taken Diane as his mistress. Catherine had later found out that they had known and loved each other long before that. Diane had inserted herself into every aspect of Henry's life. Henry's lance carried her favor when he jousted; he even addressed his salute to her on many occasions. She designed his chambers, controlled the Crown Jewels, and even wrote official letters, signing them HenriDiane. And though Diane had encouraged Henry to visit Catherine's chambers to produce heirs, she had firmly placed herself as a barrier between the two.

Catherine had known that she would not leave Henry so easily. She had been waiting for Diane's return; it was only a matter of time. Catherine and Henry had enjoyed an idyllic two weeks together, but Diane would the true test of all that – a test that Catherine hoped Henry would pass, but had faltering faith in him to do so. Diane always had such a hold over her husband. This – perhaps final – confrontation would settle once and for all the fate of Henry and Catherine's relationship. Were they strong enough to withstand this storm? She did not know. She did know that this would be a trial by fire…and Catherine armored herself for battle.

With a flick of her wrist, Catherine gave permission for Diane to enter.

(Catherine) "Diane…what are you doing here? Henry did not tell me that you were coming."

(Diane) "Henry did not know. I did not send him word lest you…_manipulate_ and _bewitch_ him under your spells again."

(Catherine) "It would do you well to remember that I am the Queen of France," she said with a scoff. "Do not forget to pay your obeisance to the woman whom you will never replace."

(Diane) "My, my I knew you had power and cunning…but such wiles, I never expected from you, my Queen," she said, executing a showy curtsy. "If only you had a heart as well…"

(Catherine) "Diane…" she began, choosing her words carefully to inflict the maximum pain.

(Diane) "I much prefer Henry's Diane."

(Catherine) "You mean Henry's whore. You are quite famous for warming the King's bed at night…rather you _were_ famous."

(Diane) "A woman who was warmed the beds of all of Florence – and a few here in France – is calling me a whore? How ironic! Henry will tire of you and throw you out…again. So you may as well give him to me now."

(Catherine) "What makes you believe I will grant you your life, much less Henry? As his wife and Queen, I could just execute you now."

(Diane) "If you are so confident about your position, then let me see Henry. Where is he?"

(Catherine) "I wish I could tell you." Henry had left the castle with Francis and their other boys on a hunting trip, trying to be a better father as well as a better husband. "He left two days ago and will not be back till tomorrow."

(Diane) "How convenient! This is clearly a lie."

(Catherine) "If you don't trust me, then look around yourself." Diane had noted the change in the woman before her. Catherine exuded a reassured confidence fortified by Henry's love and support. Before, her insecurities had been evident to Diane, but now…she was unaffected by Diane's taunts; she did not need to fight any longer. Catherine had won – she knew that, and Diane knew that.

(Diane) "Do you assume I won't? How long do you think you can keep Henry's interest? Only as long as his infatuation lasts? And then what? You must have used every trick in the book to entrance him so. But I will do more. I will not allow Henry to suffer and rot in this hell."

(Catherine) "What a curious sight. The very Diane who drove Henry away from me is now struggling to win him back. There is nothing you can do, my dear. He is no longer yours to claim. You have lost everything – the social recognition, his love, his benevolence, everything. Any dreams or hopes that linger in your heart for him have long vanished. This time I will not give Henry to you."

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(Diane) "Where are you going? The night has just begun, Henry."

(Henry) "I have to go. I've made a big mistake. I should not have left Catherine so. I wish to go to my wife." Diane had found Henry in her chambers while he was sulking after his first fight with Catherine. His temperament had inevitably clashed with her hot Italian blood…and Diane moved to take advantage of that.

(Diane) "Wife? What wife? Whose wife? Tonight, it's just you and me. Walking away from an enchanting lady like this is very bad manners," she pouted.

Henry's temper flared. "And seducing a married man is shameless," he spat. Diane extended an arm out to stop him as he tried to move past her, a coquettish smile played on her lips. Henry, however, was uninterested. Pushing her arm away, he warned, "You are a woman, Diane. Do not forget that. Women are mothers, sisters, wives, friends...that's it. If they cannot be any of that, they will live in disgrace. Do not let yourself be disgraced, Diane." He tossed the few coins he had on him toward her. "The price…for our time together. I must return to my wife."

This was the first time someone Diane had wanted to stay with her had left her like this. This would not do. She did not like being spurned. And she vowed to bring him back to her.

Henry entered Catherine's chambers as she was being dressed by her ladies. He could hear their voices as they flitted around, but Catherine's own voice was silent.

"My lady, you look resplendent tonight. More radiant than the moon itself," one of her ladies sang out.

"Had your husband been here today he would have lost his wits with just one look at you," another responded not realizing Henry's presence in the room. Despite her ladies' compliments, Catherine's face was shrouded in melancholy – anger and regret reflected in her eyes. Henry had chosen to publicly accept Diane's favor – betraying, humiliating, and hurting Catherine. When she had raged at him for his behavior, he had dismissed her and had gone to find Diane out of spite. Catherine had come to trust him in their short time together. His relationship with Diane had been a dagger through her heart.

(Henry) "Catherine…" he called out softly. "I'd like a word with you…privately." Catherine's ladies cleared out as she stood stoically in her place. She did not face her husband, fearful that her fury and her tears would be unleashed. "I've come back, Catherine."

(Catherine) "Why?" She turned to face him. Her eyes red and brimming with tears; her jaw clenched. He had truly hurt her to her core.

(Henry) "I've come back to you…forever."

(Catherine) "When? Now that the entire court has learned of your affections?"

(Henry) "No, no Catherine…there is still time…I will repent for my mistakes. On my honor, as Prince of France, I will explain to the court and my family…"

(Catherine) "Your family, your court, your title…what about me Henry? You swear on your honor? If your honor has value, why did you deem mine so worthless? Just because you are a prince, why did you believe that I am a nobody? My family may not be titled, the court may view us as upstarts, but at least we have never cheated anyone."

(Henry) "I never cheated you, Catherine."

(Catherine) "Then why did you leave me to go to her? And that favor you accepted?"

(Henry) "Catherine, you know your Henry doesn't do anything deliberately. I was being naïve."

(Catherine) "Naïve?" she said with a pained laugh. "How naïve can you be, Henry? On a whim you claim me as your wife…and on a whim you forsake me for another! Naïve?...And now you return with promises of forever…on another whim?...It's time for us to end this farce. We may be man and wife, but nothing more."

(Henry) "I cannot accept that."

(Catherine) "What difference does it make? I accept that."

(Henry) "Catherine, if you do not agree, I will…"

(Catherine) "What? Humiliate me again? Run to Diane again?"

(Henry) "Humiliate you? No, Catherine! As my wife, your honor is tied to mine. Why would I deliberately humiliate you?"

(Catherine) "I am not your fief, Henry. I am not your property. I am not some trophy for you to claim. You have always exerted your rights over me. But when I asked for what is mine – your fidelity – you turned away?"

(Henry) "Enough, Catherine!" His anger and arrogance resurfaced. "Do not speak as though you are my better!"

(Catherine) "Why shouldn't I? What do you have, but wealth and a title? I too possess that, but more importantly I am virtuous, unlike you. Does that not make me your better?"

(Henry) "CATHERINE!"

(Catherine) "No need to shout, Henry! If you cannot handle your acerbic wife, perhaps Diane will be more malleable to your liking."

(Henry) "I do not want Diane! I will not return to her, I promise you that!"

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(Diane) "But I will take him…and no one can stop me – not society, not you, and not Henry himself. He will be mine."

Catherine smiled at her desperation. "Do not forget, Diane, mistresses are never destined to be wives…In fact, mistresses are not destined for anything…except a place in Hell."

Diane stepped past Catherine as she crossed the sitting room. Swinging the doors of the bedchamber open, Diane searched for Henry… but he was nowhere to be seen.

(Catherine) "If you look from the perspective of a mistress, you will see nothing but emptiness. But if you look from the perspective of a wife…a lover, you will find him everywhere…in the flame of the lamp that burns bright in the window… in the folds of the bed covers…in the half-empty goblet of wine. His scent, his smile, his warmth…his love still lingers in this room…as it always has…as it always will. You will never be able to take all that."

(Diane) "So, this some shrine now? How strange! A Queen has become a priestess."

(Catherine) "It is strange… that a mistress has become a beggar, desperately begging a wife for her own husband. You may have traded in love and lust many times, Diane. But I have only loved once. And my love is strong…more powerful than your charms and artifices."

(Diane) "Are you appraising me or yourself?"

(Catherine) "Neither. I am telling you the facts. I am not a child anymore, Diane. He is no longer alone in this world; I am no longer alone in this world…but you somehow got left behind. It is finally dawn in my world…but for you there is only an endless night."

(Diane) "He has forgotten you…All these years he hasn't wanted to see you…to meet you…to touch you…He is comfortable with his mistress. Leave him be."

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(Diane) "Even after these many years you still aren't accustomed to this yet, Henry? Still unable to manage a mistress and a wife? Perhaps, if you cannot handle it…"

Henry took a hearty swig from his goblet of wine. His eyes had glossed over from all the alcohol, but his visage was still a testament to his bitterness and resentment. "Handle it? Which fool can handle it? You see this wine? I drink it so that I can 'handle' this…I drink it so that I can stay within my limits…so that I can tolerate staying here with you...so that I can tolerate you..." He downed his glass, and poured himself some more. "I drink this wine…so that I can manage all this…so that I can numb my senses…and forget Catherine." He scoffed at his fate. "But Diane, these thoughts of Catherine won't even let me to forget her…Why is it that, even after spending all this time with you, her memories haunt me day and night? Her laughter…her hazel eyes…her reassuring smile…why? Why?!" Finishing his wine, Henry threw the goblet against the wall; it fell to the floor with a loud clang, the metal distorted from the impact. "Why are men so naïve?" A porcelain figurine smashed against the ground, shattering into a million pieces. "Why do we make such mistakes?" An ink well flew to the floor, its contents splattering across the stone. "Why are such harsh punishments decreed for such small errors? Why?! Why is she so cold toward me?! Why have we been wrenched apart? One is bound to an unhappy, loveless marriage, and the other is…slain in love…What kind of fool abandons a beautiful rose for a paper flower? A true rose…surrounded by thorns she may be…but real nevertheless…"

Diane's presence had caused the disintegration of his marriage. Henry knew that, but in his stubbornness he still insisted on having her as his mistress. Besides, he was fond of her…but his love was reserved for his wife. Catherine had long given up trying to argue with him, trying to make him understand. In these seventeen years, she had given up on him and their marriage. She still permitted him in her bed, but only to produce heirs. Henry had always known that in order to have any chance with Catherine, he would have to rid of Diane. But he wasn't sure that would be enough now. He had lost Catherine, and he would never be able to get her back again. So, he settled for Diane instead.

(Diane) "Henry," she reached out a hand to steady him, "you are not…"

(Henry) "Do not touch me! I despise you! I cannot bear to see myself come to this. Be gone! Be gone from my life!...Never again shall I come to your door…Except…whenever I am tortured by memories of Catherine, I shall come to you; whenever I feel overcome with guilt for my mistakes, I shall come to you." His pained laughter echoed through the room. "What else can I do? Where else can I go?...There, I have sentenced myself to this punishment."

(Diane) "Henry, why do you punish yourself so? She is not worth…"

(Henry) "DON'T YOU DARE! DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK ILL OF HER! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!"

(Diane) "Henry, please…" She reached for him again, only to have him swat her hand away. "If I am so despicable, if my touch is so abhorrent, then why are you here, Henry? Why do you choose to stay in my life? I was content in my solitude…I am happy without you. Why are you here as a messenger of misery?"

(Henry) "Diane, I…" He started, suddenly aware he hurt her too... when her amused laughter cut him off.

(Diane) "See? That dissolved your memories of her, didn't it? Allow me to divert your attention," she said, pressing her body against his and playing coyly with the ties of his shirt. "…and I assure you, your deepest wounds will be healed."

Henry took a deep breath, trying to steel himself. "Why do you think I am here?"

Diane stopped his hand as he reached for more wine. "That's enough. You have had enough."

(Henry) "Why not just say I have lived enough?"

(Diane) "How could I? You have Catherine…memories of Catherine…All I have is you, my king…All I want is you…"

(Henry) "Do you love me, Diane?"

(Diane) "Let me show you how much."

(Henry) "You won't get anything in return…I have no heart to give you. That goblet there, brimming with wine…do you know what will happen if I add more?"

(Diane) "The wine will spill to the ground."

(Henry) "Just like that goblet, I too am brimming with Catherine's love…her memories…any more would only spill to the ground…it will fall, and will take you down with it."

(Diane) "At least the spilled wine is lucky enough to have momentarily touched the goblet before spilling to the ground. I only ask for the same."

(Henry) "Then let it spill…"

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Diane had known a long time ago that Henry's love for Catherine was absolute. But the two of them were too arrogant, too stubborn, too childish to settle their differences. Henry liked submissive women, but Catherine would never submit to him. Diane had merely seized the opportunity and filled that space in his life. Now, she was too comfortable in her life to give it all up. It was evident that Catherine was not playing a game anymore, but that did not mean that Diane could stop.

(Diane) "Do you really have faith in him? The man who has taken on countless mistresses and lovers, while he left you alone?"

(Catherine) "My everything is built on my faith in him. The man he was has long gone; he will never return."

(Diane) "Do not forget, Queen Catherine, that fire and water can never coexist."

(Catherine) "When love is true, it can even set fire to water."

Diane smirked "I guess…we'll just have to test how true this love really is then when Henry returns tomorrow…"


	14. Chapter 14

Catherine lay awake in her bed, awaiting the sun…awaiting her fate. Suddenly, her chambers felt so cold, so dark…so empty without Henry. Over the many years, she had become accustomed to living her life without him; that had all been undone in the last two weeks. And now, she was unsure if she could go back to her old, lonely life. She had suffered many disappointments on her road to love…so many broken dreams that still cast a shadow over her. She had fallen in love many years ago…and her punishment had been torturous, unending, unyielding loneliness.

As her mind raced, Catherine could not take her eyes off the lamp in her window. The nuns in Florence had once read her a story that said a lamp lit for a loved one would bring the wayfarer home. She had lit that lamp twenty-two years ago when Henry had first gone into battle. She had never let it dim…never let it go out…hoping it would finally bring him back to her…and it finally had. But now…now that Diane was here, would he spare her a thought?...Would he remember his wife?

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"My lady, your prince is almost at the castle grounds now."

Catherine turned from the window, lamp in hand. She had been waiting with baited breath for his return. "Really?" she asked, filled with hope and happiness.

"Really! They are preparing for his arrival as we speak. The whole palace is in raptures, rejoicing his victory and… What's this, my lady? You are crying? I pray that these tears of joy do not douse the lamp before Prince Henry arrives."

(Catherine) "No power on Earth can put this lamp out…not until he comes back to me."

By the time Catherine arrived at the gates of the palace, Diane had already whisked Henry away to his chambers. Clearly, that woman would try to keep them apart for as long as she can. But Catherine was not willing to wait to meet her husband. They had been away for ten weeks now, including the two weeks he had taken to leisurely return to the castle…two weeks where Diane had been by his side… and in his bed. Not any more. Catherine was intent on seeing him immediately; she was intent on reclaiming him...but would he want her? Had he forgotten her?

(Henry) "It's my time now. Now, no one beat me in anything; I am on a winning streak." Henry was boasting to the small crowd of aficionados that had gathered in his chambers when he spotted Catherine entering his room. "Ah! My wife is here now, but even she can't win against me... This is now my destiny."

Catherine rolled her eyes at his arrogance – her husband would never change. "Do you want to bet on that?"

(Diane) "Beware, Henry! Do not gamble against her! She will loot you for all your worth," the woman mocked with a grating laugh. Diane noted the platter – covered by a beautifully embroidered silk kerchief – Catherine carried in her hand. "Catherine, what have you brought with you today?" she asked, reaching for the cover. However, Catherine evaded her prodding hands; she was too quick for Henry's mistress.

(Catherine) "A message…for Henry from the Pope…"

(Diane) "Oh…"

Henry already appeared tired and a bit cranky from the journey and the cackle around him. It was only a matter of time till his infamous temper reared its head. Catherine knew that it would be best to rid him of these hangers-on, and allow him a moment of peace.

(Catherine) "I wish to discuss this matter with him privately," she said, her eyes fixated on Diane. Henry's mistress nodded toward Catherine, acknowledging the latter's cunning, before she slowly slithered out. As Henry's wife, Catherine knew that officially she had the upper hand, but she would have gladly sacrificed the power for his love. If only Henry felt the same…

As the room cleared from Catherine's command, Henry turned toward his desk, fidgeting with his things. Once the door shut behind them, Catherine gingerly pulled out the knitting she had hidden under the silk kerchief, and held it up to Henry's shoulder, checking the measurement.

(Henry) "What brings the Moon down to Earth today?" he asked as he turned and lifted her chin up with a finger.

Though she smiled, Catherine's reassured confidence – or rather, arrogance – did not melt from Henry's flattery. "To take your breath away."

(Henry) "What's this?" he motioned toward the cloth in her hand. "What are you doing?"

(Catherine) "Checking how good my guess was," she said, holding it back up to him.

(Henry) "Accurate?"

(Catherine) "It could never be wrong."

Henry chuckled at their playful banter. "Why? Do you posses some sort of sorcery?"

(Catherine) "Just love – if you can call that sorcery. I know you well now that we have been married for a few years."

(Henry) "Very well. What's in the platter?" he asked, curious about what she had brought him.

(Catherine) "Platter?" She had thoughtlessly replaced the silk cover. What not just play along for a moment? "Oh! The platter – yes, well…it's something for you and me."

(Henry) "I know that, but what is it?"

(Catherine) "An excuse."

(Henry) "Is it some message for me?"

(Catherine) "See for yourself," she urged. Catherine's laugh resonated in the room when Henry lifted the cloth and found nothing underneath.

(Henry) "There's nothing here."

(Catherine) "That's why it's an excuse, silly…for you and me to enjoy some time together."

The platter suddenly clanged to the floor. Henry had thrown it in anger, believing Catherine was mocking him.

(Catherine) "My god! What a temper!" she exclaimed, seeing Henry sulk like a petulant child. "You make a fine example of how to lose one's temper. You still haven't changed!" she gently chided his childishness.

However, that only enraged Henry more. "You too haven't changed," he said, playing with her loose curl, but not meeting her eyes.

Catherine misread his actions as a demonstration of his affection. "I haven't?" she asked with innocence and adoration.

(Henry) "No, you are still that _foolish_ girl from Italy," he spat with contempt.

(Catherine) "Naturally, I would seem like a fool to you now after your conquests on and off the battlefield. I really am a fool waiting for you here as you enjoyed the allures of Paris." Her pride had been bruised by Henry's taunt – he could be so cruel sometimes in his arrogance. "What's so special about Paris, Henry?" They both knew that Henry was drawn to Paris because of Diane, but neither wished to address that directly.

(Henry) "Paris…Paris is something else…Great personalities, great minds... stimulating discussions, enthralling shows…the art, the architecture, the people. It's a whole other world. Everyone is happy to be there."

(Catherine) "And you?"

(Henry) "Of course! I am happiest when I am there," he responded, still angry at her insolence.

(Catherine) "So, in these ten weeks, you never missed this castle? You never missed being here?" She was more hurt than angry now; Henry's words had stung her.

(Henry) "Not once…Never…well, except..." he softened seeing her pain. "…when I tired of eating the tasteless food at the battleground, I missed the food here. That's it!...And…and if I made some mistake – big or small – I was reminded of my father…That's it…nothing else… on cold, bleak evenings, I remembered the gaiety and pomp of the palace balls…And on sleepless nights, I remembered the comforts of my chambers…that's it…nothing else."

(Catherine) "Henry… and…what about…"

(Henry) "And what?"

(Catherine) "What about me?"

(Henry) "Never. Well…maybe once…" He wasn't finished teasing her just yet. "Actually no, you never came to mind, Catherine."

Catherine's brow furrowed from his torment. "Really, Henry?... I never came to mind?"

(Henry) "Only things that matter come to mind, Catherine…but you… you don't matter at all."

Catherine's eyes began to well up. "You're right, Henry. Only you matter…That's why I would read the one letter you wrote me every hour of every day…Just think, how times did I read it in a week, Henry?"

(Henry) "Uh...uh…" he began, acting as though he were tallying the calculation.

(Catherine) "And how many times in ten weeks?"

(Henry) "Well, if you multiply by…"

(Catherine) "1,680 times. That's how much you matter…You matter so much, that I have kept alive, from the day you left, the lamp I lit for your safe return. How many minutes has it been burning, Henry? Do you have any idea?"

(Henry) "If I were to count…"

(Catherine) "100,800 minutes…And you matter so much, that I have thought of you, remembered _you_ every second from the moment you left. How many seconds was that, Henry?"

(Henry) "I know, I know…I'll tell you…," he said as he pretended to count on his fingers.

(Catherine) "You were always so bad at arithmetic." She turned away from him to hide her tears.

Henry wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. Pulling her toward him, he tried to soothe her. "There were some times when I missed you."

(Catherine) "When?" she quizzed, her voice wavering with uncertainty.

(Henry) "Whenever I took a breath…whenever my heart beat…"

Catherine let out a relieved laugh as she turned to Henry and wrapped her arms around him. She buried her face into his neck as Henry's arms tightened around her.

(Henry) "Catherine…" he whispered, "You remember those who can be forgotten. How nonchalantly you counted off the seconds in which you remembered me... without once thinking that in those passing seconds I was carried further away from you? You never once realized that you may have lit the lamp in love, but I was the one who was burned by its flame."

(Catherine) "Henry…"

(Henry) "Hmm?"

(Catherine) "Promise me you won't leave again, to Paris or anywhere else…"

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100,800 minutes… Ten weeks, 100,800 minutes… she had preserved that flame for millions more since then. And with each minute that it burned bright, she had been consumed by it. Climbing out of her bed, Catherine walked to her treasured lamp searching for solace…for strength…for reassurance…but she found nothing except emptiness in the windswept night that lay outside her window. Her heart, which had been racing these past few weeks, was still…aching to hear his footsteps come through her door once again. It felt as though her life was losing its melody, as though her voice was silenced with defeat. Despite the state of their marriage, Catherine had carried Henry in her heart for all those years. From dusk till dawn, dawn till dusk, his memory had ruled her heart, her mind, her very soul. What if he relinquished her for Diane now?…All that would be lost forever. Why, she lamented…why had he come back to her now? Why had he taken her hand again? Why had he said he was hers? What if, after all that, he left again? Would she be able to wrench him from her heart… again?

This dreary night seemed to last forever, especially without Henry by her side. She knew she could not just forget their past – relics of their heartbreak were scattered around them. Now that Diane was here, their past seemed to have returned with a vengeance. Would she ever find herself in his arms again, Catherine wondered. Would his laughter ever fill her world again? Even with these fears, she was not sure if her love would ever ebb away. She prayed that the bonds they were desperately trying to rebuild were not so fragile that they would shatter again…because this time she would not try to save it.

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"You are going to her house to bring him back yourself, my lady?" Catherine's lady-in-waiting questioned as she dressed Catherine for the ride to Diane's country house. "That would be too embarrassing!"

Henry had stayed with Diane for a week now. Catherine could not, would not allow him stay there a second longer. She would make the necessary sacrifice, put her pride aside, and go to him.

(Catherine) "Why be embarrassed about retrieving what is yours? I am a married woman; why should I live like a mistress? Why should I wait for his favor when he is my husband…when I have a right to him?" She was determined to bring her husband back – not with rage, but with love; not with tears, but with compassion.

It was well into the night by the time Catherine arrived at her destination. There was a stillness about her - the calm before the storm.

"Halt! Who goes there?" a guard's voice sounded.

Slipping her riding habit off the top of her head, Catherine revealed herself. "I do," she announced resolutely as she floated past him into the house.

Henry had not expected to see Catherine at the other end of the hallway when he slipped out of Diane's room in the middle of the night. He did not know she was coming, and he immediately flew to her. He did not know how he would make his wife understand, how he would contain her rage, how he would send her back. He was expecting her to unleash that famed Medici fury of hers, but as he approached her he found neither anger nor sorrow written on her face.

(Henry) "Catherine, what are you doing here? Are you alright?" Seeing her so calm, worried him – had something awful happened, he wondered. "Why are you here so late at night…in the dark…all alone?"

Instead of responding, Catherine slowly stepped toward him, closing the distance between them. Her lips curled in a little smile – she appeared at peace, completely calm and serene.

(Henry) "Were you not afraid to come all this way alone?"

(Catherine) "No, now I am not afraid of anyone or anything."

(Henry) "Not even of being maligned for leaving the castle this late at night?"

(Catherine) "No, when I am with you, I do not care about getting a bad reputation."

(Henry) "Why…why are you here…now?" He searched for answers, but she was unmoved.

(Catherine) "Why does the river flow to the sea? Why does the sunflower always face the sun? And why does your Catherine – unheeding of her dignity, her self-esteem, her honor – venture out in the dark of night to find you? Why do I _always_ seek you? There is but one answer to all these questions, Henry."

(Henry) "There may only be one answer, Catherine, but far too many questions will be asked."

(Catherine) "There will be no questions, Henry, as long as we are together."

(Henry) "I cannot just leave here. I cannot walk out on…"

(Catherine) "I do not ask what you can and cannot do. I ask what do you want to do, Henry…What do you want, Henry?" she asked sincerely.

Henry gently caressed her cheek, "Your happiness…" Her Henry still flickered behind the façade…albeit for a moment. He broke his trance, and added "But it's not that simple, Catherine… Diane will not so easily agree to what we…you…want."

Catherine wrapped an arm around him, resting her head against his chest and laying a hand over his heart. "I am sure you can persuade her…Together, we can win over all of our naysayers."

(Henry) "And what if she does not relent? What if they do not relent?" He wanted to believe her; he wanted to accept her…and yet he hesitated. Why – neither Catherine nor Henry knew really. He was a like a child that did not want to discard any of his toys – stubborn and obtuse.

Catherine brought her hand to his face; looking into his eyes, she tried to show him her honesty. "Where there is love, there is no fear," she said earnestly – her voice soft and gentle.

(Henry) "But where there is smoke, there is fire…and these fires of attrition will consume us both. It is best if we do not destroy ourselves under some pretense or delusion."

(Catherine) "I am doomed in any case, Henry…be it with you or without you…Won't you come back with me, Henry?"

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That night it was as though all sense of reasoning had been lost to Henry. He had been left vacillating as if between pendulous scales. He hadn't wanted to abandon Diane in order to make Catherine happy. More importantly, he hadn't wanted to hurt Catherine with empty promises. So, he chose to leave her many questions unanswered; he chose to believe that there never was any love between them – that it was all a childish infatuation.

Looking back, Catherine realized that Henry had been right; she had burned for years at the hands of her cherished love. She had been compelled to go to Diane's nest that night – compelled by him, compelled by hope, compelled by her love. But she had returned alone, leaving behind her self-esteem, her husband, and her innocence. She had risked everything for him, and had lost herself in it all. Going there that night had been a test of her love – to see if he valued his wife over his mistress, to see if he returned to her or deserted her. She had vowed to herself that if he chose to reject her, then she would never listen to her heart again.

And yet…she had betrayed herself; she had been unable to control her heart. So, she kept the lamp in her window lit…and waited. As months turned to years, she counted the days till he returned. And when he came back to her, her life was pure bliss…Now she waited again…watching dawn break on a new day, bringing with it a new future.

* * *

LinaOso, I don't know about Henry, but I can definitely see Alan van Sprang cooking. So, I figured, I may as well throw that image out there! Glad you liked it! There's going to be more sweetness coming from his once Diane has been properly dealt with!

demedicigirl, I am happy to hear you liked the flashbacks. I am always nervous whether they distract from the story, so it's good to hear that they are appreciated. Sorry you have to wait to find out about Henry and Diane, but it is coming up next!


	15. Chapter 15

**AN**: I know that a lot of Henry-Catherine shippers aren't the biggest Richard fans (although I hope you all like what I did here). Personally I can't stand him, but I felt the Richard issue needed to be addressed before Henry and Catherine moved on. Also, this story has been focused on Henry's mistakes, and, although I think Catherine is a goddess and can do no wrong, I wanted to look at her errors too. Hence, this chapter. I promise the next one will deal with Diane and Henry…and there will be goodness all round. Stay tuned!

(Catherine) "Do not forget, Diane, a frog can only jump so high. Your time is over now; you have reached your pinnacle. And now, it's time for your swift, steep fall."

(Diane) "Fall? Never. I will continue to climb _with_ Henry's graces."

(Catherine) "You certainly are ambitious, aren't you? Just keep in mind, water and ambition are the same in nature – ever swelling, but take care not to drown when the tide turns. And by the way the tide has certainly turned."

Diane feigned innocence, "Is the Queen of France really so afraid of a humble mistress?"

(Catherine) "I am not addressing you as the Queen of France now, I am just a wife steadfast in her love for her husband…for you know as well as I, that if I were thinking as Queen of France you would not have seen the sun rise this morning…you would not be standing here before me as we await Henry's return. As Queen of France, I would have had you drawn and quartered for your treason."

(Diane) "You wouldn't dare! Henry would never forgive you if you hurt a hair on my head. He may even behead you for it. You may be his official wife, but I am his consort. You may possess the political leverage to force him to stand by you, but I possess the prowess to lay by his side."

(Catherine) "You really are a foolish woman," she said with an assured smile as she took a seat. Diane remained standing; and though she towered above her, Catherine held all the power in this dynamic. Diane was a wounded lioness, fighting for her life…but it was evident that she was on her last breaths. "You dare challenge me without the authority of a crown or throne to protect you? Challenging the Queen is no less than challenging the King himself. Do not cross me, Diane…you know the consequences. As for your prowess, even a common whore can lay next to a man, but she will never be his equal… she will never have his respect."

(Diane) "Stop it, Catherine. Stop the act! I am not naïve like Henry… You really think Henry believes you are his equal? Do you think he respects someone like you? I know the real you…a shameless adulterer pretending to be a faithful, innocent wife. That's what you are! One word, one name – Richard – and Henry himself with throw you out of his life."

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(Henry) "Richard," his voice boomed, "looks like you are Catherine's partner tonight. You better not steal her away from me," he said in jest.

(Richard) "What difference does it make? You have been partnered with her for life. What's one night?" Richard held out his hand for Catherine to take. As he led her away, her hand slowly slipped from Henry's grasp – little did they know what the future held…

Catherine rolled her eyes as Henry walked away. "I am sure he planned to have me partnered with you – someone he can trust – so that he can chase his own amusements tonight without care for his wife." Throughout the games and festivities, Catherine's eyes remained trained on Henry as he flirted, as he charmed, as he flitted from one activity to another, from one woman to another…not even glancing over to his wife.

But Richard only had eyes for Catherine. He ached to tell her just once how much he loved her, how much he wanted her. Maybe if he tells her, she would…No, he just let it be. She was his friend's wife, his Dauphin's wife. He could not say anything…he dared not say anything. Besides, whether he revealed it or not, his love would not change…it would still be entrenched in his heart. He had not followed the rules when he fell in love with her… he had let his feelings command him. But it was all in vain. Henry was a good man when he wanted to be. He was an ideal husband for a woman like Catherine – he was titled, wealthy, well versed in the arts, literature, and politics, skilled with a sword…a natural leader. They were a perfect pair. They were even born just two weeks apart as though they had been made for each other. So, Richard let it be…he never had a chance…When he wanted, Henry could make her happy beyond compare. If given the chance, Richard would have kept her happy all the time, but Catherine did not see that…she only saw Henry; she did not accept Richard's love…she only accepted Henry's false promises. Why didn't she understand his feelings?

When he could no longer bear the torture of being by her – but not with her – Richard slipped out of the room and found himself alone on a secluded balcony nearby. Having had a little too much wine, he was in a haze… but his love for her was still clear. When he heard footsteps approach, he believed his eyes were playing tricks on him.

(Richard) "Catherine…why are you here?" he said to himself, before shaking his head dismissively. "Don't worry! I'm happy. I am fine. I am your friend – no complaints, no demands."

Catherine looked at him, cross and perplexed. "I've been looking all over for you. And here you're …" As she approached closer, she finally understood the extent of his inebriation. "You're drunk!" she exclaimed.

(Richard) "Drunk?...No, Catherine, in French we say drink…Drink," he slurred.

She let out a frustrated scream.

(Richard) "Why are you so upset? Are you drink too?"

(Catherine) "Richard!" she said, taking his shoulders and shaking him back to his senses. "Compose yourself! I'm going to lose to Henry because of you."

(Richard) "C...Catherine?" he stuttered, coming to his senses. "You're here?! You're really here? Why? How?"

(Catherine) "I need you to come back with me for the last challenge. If Henry wins, then…then he'll take Lady Annette to bed tonight. I need your help, and you…you're drunk."

(Richard) "No, no Catherine. Actually my friends served me a little too much in the midst of this celebration. We can go back…"

But before he could finish, they heard the cheers congratulating the victors.

(Catherine) "Henry and Annette…" she said, dejectedly. "What do I do now? Where do I go? How do I meet people's mocking, pitying gaze?"

(Richard) "Don't go anywhere. Stay here for a while till the room clears."

(Catherine) "And what about Henry…?"

Richard succumbed to his wants for a moment…perhaps this was his chance. "Catherine, if you don't mind, may I be honest? These rich, royal brats are often like this. For them, love and marriage are only games…entertainment to wile the days away." Catherine burst into tears, unable to hold it in any longer. Henry's infidelities had gone on for so long, and she had tried to act as though she was not bothered by it all. But it cut her deeply every time he chose another's company... especially because the dread of being childless mounted by the day.

Richard could not stand seeing her like that. "No, no Catherine…I was just joking. I'm sorry!... I'll help you bring Henry back. Don't cry. Please, don't cry!"

Though she wiped away her tears, Catherine's face was still shrouded in sadness.

(Richard) "What are you worried about now, Catherine?"

(Catherine) "You won't understand," she whispered.

(Richard) "Of course I will. Just explain it to me."

Catherine turned away from him. "Even if I explain, you won't understand."

(Richard) "Why not? I'm very smart. Why won't I understand?" he said in jest, trying to cheer her up with his put-on smile.

(Catherine) "Because you've never loved anyone…" she said with a pained voice.

Catherine did not see the smile vanish from his face; nor did she notice the longing in his eyes. How could he tell her that he loved her? How could he tell her that the girl in his dreams looked exactly like her? How could he tell her he understood…?

(Richard) "You love him…You really love him? Why? What's so special about him that he is worthy of your love…?"

(Catherine) "What can I tell you about, Henry? Where do I even begin? I've never met anyone like him before. Sometimes he's innocent, and at other times he is devilish; sometimes he is spontaneous, and at other times he is understanding. Sometimes he scolds me in anger, and at other times he does silly things to make me laugh. Sometimes he is more stubborn than a child, and at other times…he is a loving husband. I can never find the words to explain what he is and isn't…But I don't know why I feel as though…as though he is special to me. When he looks at me, I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. When he laughs, I feel like my world is dancing in delight. When he is upset, I feel like holding him in my arms. And when he loves me…my heart feels complete. He makes me realize that I was made for him…and he for me. I love him very much…but sometimes I doubt he feels the same…"

(Richard) "He loves you too, Catherine," he said both speaking for himself and trying to console her. "You just need to do something to bring him back on the right path."

(Catherine) "How?"

(Richard) "Perhaps by taking the wrong path?"

It had all started so innocently. Catherine ignored Henry, fought with him, and made him jealous by fawning over Richard. Richard was Henry's friend, so she was certain that he would never take advantage of her…that they would never cross their boundaries. And it all worked for a while; Henry was like a child who suddenly wanted a toy he had discarded because he saw another play with it. So, Henry returned to Catherine out of possessiveness and jealousy. But his affections were fleeting and he turned from her again…

It wasn't long after... Catherine had stormed out of Henry's chambers – tears pouring down her face – after catching him yet again with another woman. In her flight back to her chambers, she ran into Richard on the same balcony he had counseled her months before. The dark, moonless sky promised a sinister intent. Nothing good ever happened that late at night.

(Catherine) "Richard!" she started, unleashing her frustrations on him as she quickened her pace toward him. "You had said that your friend loves me... You had said he would come back to me…that I could bring him back…Do you still think that? You were there tonight, weren't you? You watched him lead that girl away, and you did nothing? I thought you were my friend! And here I am, in the middle of night…all alone… Why, Richard? Why? Why did you give me false hope? Why do you pretend to be my friend? Answer me! Answer me, Richard."

Richard had returned to that balcony weary from the constant struggle that waged within him. Richard and Catherine had grown closer over the months, but they had never exceeded the limits of their friendship. He watched her heart get repeatedly broken by Henry, and yet he could do nothing…why didn't Catherine ever _see_ him? Why did she never _want _him?

(Richard) "I don't know…" he said, trying to avoid her. He could not stand be near her for another second, lest he…

(Catherine) "No, Richard, I won't let you leave so easily. I want an answer. So, answer me. Answer me!"

(Richard) "YOU WANT AN ANSWER? You want an answer? Fine, here is your answer. You want to be my friend? We CANNOT be friends…I can never be your _friend_… 26th March, 1533…I met you for the first time, Catherine. I remember the exact time. Since that day, I have felt as though my life is incomplete without you. Is this the answer to your question?"

Catherine was confused and shocked…the wind was knocked out of her. How long had Richard felt this way about her? Why did she never realize it? She had grown quite fond of him, but she had never let her heart exceed its bounds.

Richard stepped toward her…and Catherine stepped back, away from him. "Every day you arrive at lunch shortly before noon…and every day I face my tutor's rod because I leave my studies to meet you…so that I can spend a few moments more with you… Is this the answer to your question?"

(Catherine) "Richard…" she whispered.

(Richard) "Every day I see you, I talk to you…and yet I miss you all day. Is this the answer to your question?...I am tortured, day in and day out, by your plight. Is this the answer to your question? Yes, I am to be married soon, Catherine…You are already married…and yet what are we doing here alone in the middle of the night?...I think…I think I have the answer. The answer you want for your question, right?"

Catherine turned, and began to walk away from him. She didn't want to hear what he had to say. She didn't want to confront her demons…her sins.

(Richard) "Listen to the answer, Catherine," he called out behind her. "I LOVE YOU, CATHERINE!" She stopped dead in her path as his voice echoed around her. "…And you love me too!"

The tears she had been struggling to hold in began to pour out of her as she ran to her chambers. How had it all gone so far…so wrong?

The next day, Catherine had been unable to find Richard anywhere. Her eyes searched for him apprehensively…unsure whether she hoped to see him or not. At dinner, she finally broke.

(Catherine) "Where's Richard, Henry?" She asked, leaning toward her husband, but keeping her eyes trained at Richard's usual seat.

(Henry) "Oh, Richard! He went home…going home? He may be preparing to leave as we speak, actually."

(Catherine) "Home?" She tried to hide the distress in her voice. "For how long?"

(Henry) "I don't know. He joked that it would be forever."

The first chance she had, Catherine slipped away. She found him at that same balcony…but she did not know what to say to him – did she want him to stay or leave? They stood beside each other in silence.

(Richard) "I couldn't bear to say goodbye to you…I thought this place might offer me some conclusion...to us… It was important to say that I loved you – so I said it."

(Catherine) "And what did you gain by saying it?"

(Richard) "I don't know…but if I hadn't, I would have lost something."

(Catherine) "You know that I am a married woman. You know that there can be no future for this affection you feel."

(Richard) "Yes, yes…I know…That's why I want to abandon this on a beautiful note…on this beautiful night…you by my side, in all your splendor," he said with a pained smile. "You don't have to worry. I don't plan on returning to court…or to your life…I'm going back to my chateau… it's beautiful there…green fields, blue skies…I like blue. You like blue?"

Tears of hurt and loss began to stream down her face. She had yearned for love for so many years…and she had finally gotten it…but from Richard, not from Henry. Richard loved her…He. Loved. Her. What more could she want…? As Richard stepped past her to leave, she reached out to his hand, stopping him. "I like blue…" She breathed before slowly turning toward him, finally meeting his gaze. "I like blue…" She had let him kiss her for the first time that night…she had let him touch her for the first time that night…

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Sometimes friendship takes the place of love…and then there is no place left for love. With Richard, Catherine gave her friendship the name of love. She still loved Henry…she always loved Henry... They were incomplete on their own, but so complete together. As much as she tried to deny it, her heart always chose the path that lead to him, that lead to his heart…even though he troubled her, saddened her, mocked her, hurt her…

But Richard…Richard had loved her whole-heartedly. It wasn't easy to find someone who loved her completely, and when she thought she found him, she took the hand he extended to her. She slipped into a daze…into a world of their own. How long were they involved, how many nights had they spent together, how many notes had they passed to each other…she did not remember. The surreptitious glances, stolen touches, secret kisses…so many clandestine meetings…how, when, where she did not remember. But she did remember how it ended…

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Henry and Catherine had fought over her behavior with one of Henry's lovers. He had scolded her; she had raged at him – this was nothing new at this point in their marriage. And though it was his fault, Henry had pouted all day like a child.

Catherine had been expecting Richard when she heard the little knock at the hidden door in her bedchamber. When she opened it, Henry stood before her.

(Henry) "Catherine…I'm sulking and you aren't even trying to pacify me?" He asked with an endearing grin. "Come on…" he whined like a child as he entered her room, and closed the door behind him. "Show me how much you love me…show me you are mine and only mine."

Catherine had been too surprised to react. It's not as though Henry had never used the secret passageways to her room before, but that had been before their marriage; days she had long forgotten. She finally said, "What are you doing here, Henry?"

He pulled her toward him, covering her in soft kisses. "I'm here to tell my wife…*kiss*...that…*kiss*...it's been too much…*kiss*...and…*kiss*...I…*kiss*...don't want to fight anymore. If you want the same, then give me a sign…*kiss*... let me stay here tonight?"

Before she could respond, a second knock was heard from the door. Shear panic settled over her – that was Richard…they were caught. In that moment, she realized her greatest fear wasn't being shamed or beheaded for adultery…but rather it was losing Henry when he learned of her infidelity. She watched in horror as Henry moved toward the door…she could not prevent the inevitable…Henry would never forgive her…

Henry was surprised to see his friend when he opened the door. "Richard?"

(Richard) "Henry…" he said, startled by the sight before him – Henry, his friend, and Catherine, his love, in their night clothes…together…in her chambers. "I…I…"

Henry leaned toward him and whispered, "You dog! Lady Delia's chamber is further down." He winked at his friend as he stepped back toward Catherine, a mischievous grin dancing on his lips.

Richard recovered from his initial shock, and a pang of jealousy and anger pierced through him as Henry put his arm around Catherine. "I wasn't looking for Lady Delia. I am here to see your wife…I am her lover after all…"

Catherine was frozen – her face devoid of emotion, her eyes trained to the ground. Even so, she knew Henry wasn't smiling any more. An unsettling silence engulfed them for a moment.

(Richard) "I'm just joking," he said with a bitter laugh. Catherine did not miss the strain in his voice. "Here," he said handing Henry the book he carried – poems of love he had brought to read to her that night. "Lady Delia and I will not be needing this tonight."

As Henry closed the door, he stepped toward Richard for a moment. "Since you are my friend, I will forgive you this time," he said in a low, threatening voice. "But don't even joke about having an affair with my wife…or else I will have your head."

When Richard and Catherine met again, she informed him of her decision to end their affair.

(Catherine) "I cannot do this anymore, Richard…not after last night…I cannot toy with three hearts, three lives anymore…How could I be unfaithful to my husband?"

(Richard) "You're feeling bad for him? A man who has always put you aside for another? You're feeling bad about betraying him? A man who has given the respect and honor you deserve to Diane de Poitiers?" he erupted. "You must have felt guilty last night as well. So, what did you do to get rid of your guilt? What did you do, Catherine? Did you allow him touch you?"

(Catherine) "Richard…he's my husband."

(Richard) "Husband? Yes, yes he is your husband. So, did he exercise his rights over you? Did you sleep with him? Where did he touch you, Catherine? Where?" he lurched forward. "Here?" He brought his finger to her lips. "Did he touch you here?" He traced a line down from her neck…but she slapped it away.

(Catherine) "Stop it, Richard! Stop it! Do you think I like it that my love spends his nights with someone else? No, but I deal with it. You will have to as well."

(Richard) "No, I can't! I refuse!"

(Catherine) "You will have to! Our relationship is just a dream…and dreams always vanish when you wake up to reality. And that's the truth."

(Richard) "No, Catherine…I can't accept this truth. I cannot…I cannot bear to see you with him…You are mine, only mine…Then why does he have a greater right to you? I gave you my heart, but you have his name carved into yours. How is that fair? I give you my love, but you only love him. Why? Why, Catherine? Why?"

(Catherine) "Richard, please…" she said, her voice faltering, "Please just leave. For your sake and mine. I am with child…his child. Eight years of marriage, and I have finally found some hope. Perhaps Henry will finally see that…"

(Richard) "Don't make this mistake, Catherine. Very few people are lucky enough to love and be loved. You cannot break the bonds that He has ordained from Heaven. You have spent years fulfilling a duty in the name of love. Now, you are going to spend the rest of your life without love in order to further this lie. This is a betrayal! Don't do such a thing."

(Catherine) "This is our last meeting, Richard. I don't ever want to meet you again…just think that I was never a part of your life."

Richard scoffed "All this to convince the devil you are married to that you love him?"

(Catherine) "I do love him, Richard. I cannot deny that. And if this marriage is to have any chance of surviving, then you have to leave."

(Richard) "You want me to leave? Fine! I will…for you. But before I leave, I just want to ask one thing…Have you ever loved me – even if it were just for a day…even if it were just for a moment?"

(Catherine) "Richard…"

(Richard) "Tell me…just once. Have you ever loved me…even just for a moment? I won't leave without an answer...I won't leave, Catherine. Have you ever loved me…even just for a moment?"

(Catherine) "No."

(Richard) "What did you say, Catherine? I could not hear you."

(Catherine) "No."

(Richard) "Say it louder, Catherine…Louder."

(Catherine) "No!" She firmly held, with tears rolling down her face. "I have never loved you. Not for a day…not for a moment…Never."

(Richard) "That's all I wanted to hear." He bowed and, picking up her hand, placed a small kiss on the top as though he were meeting her for the first time. "Richard de la Croix, my lady…I'm sure you have heard of me... I am sure you will remember me…"

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When Richard walked out of her life, she did not know she was carrying his child…their child. Clarissa's birth had almost cost her everything. But now, neither one of them was in her life anymore. If Diane wanted to bring it all up, then Catherine would let her. Henry and she hadn't spoken about it since Richard's beheading. It was time to face it and put that chapter to bed.

(Catherine) "Are you threatening me by bringing up Richard?"

(Diane) "Not at all. Just reminding you that you have everything to lose... and I have everything to gain."

(Catherine) "Go ahead, Diane. I will not stop you. I do not fear my past; I do not fear the truth. If Henry's and my bond is so weak that it cannot weather this storm, then it was never worth salvaging in the first place. Even after all that has been mended between Henry and me, there is a still some hidden grief that troubles us – our past, our mistakes…you. Today, with you here, that will all be finally resolved. But know this, no matter where my marriage falls – for better or for worse – I will make sure that you _never_ return to this castle again. I assure you that."

(Diane) "Was _that_ a threat?"

(Catherine) "No, but this is. Do you know why I like poison? I can control it. I can inflict as much, or as little, pain as I want with it. Take my advice: for your own sake, leave from here. Go away and never come back. Whatever the outcome may be today, if I see you again, I will not only destroy you, I will also destroy everything and everyone you love. It is up to you to decide if you want to test me."

The sounds of trumpets cut through the tensed standoff as they heralded the king's return to court. Catherine had already sent word to Henry about Diane's arrival, so that he would not be surprised… and so that he would have time to reflect on his choices. He was back with a decision now...on which the fates of three lives rested.

* * *

LinaOso, Thanks for all the encouragement dear! When I started this, I had never expected to write so much. (I can't believe I'm at 15 chapters!) I would never have gotten this far without your support.


	16. Chapter 16

"Henry!" Diane cried, running toward him as he entered the room. But just as she reached him, he stepped back, out of her reach. She was surprised by his sudden rejection. It wasn't as though he hadn't tired of her from time to time, and turned to other women. It was just that she had never expected to lose him to Catherine because she knew – they all knew – that if Henry ever returned to Catherine, it would be forever…and Diane would lose everything.

(Henry) "Lady Diane," he acknowledged matter-of-factly, giving her a curt nod. "What are you doing here? I sent you specific instructions on how you must conduct yourself with me. And that included, not seeing me. Why have you chosen to ignore your king's command?"

Catherine stood still…observing…waiting. Her expression was blank – save for the arched brow, nothing else betrayed the tempest inside her. She did not want to influence Henry. Whatever he wanted, he had to decide for himself. She didn't want him to fulfill some duty or obligation; she didn't want to compel him. She didn't want to achieve her dream, her love in that manner. She wanted her dreams to be fulfilled by Henry's love, not his charity. So, she remained silent…

Diane pouted, trying to melt his heart "Have you forgotten your Diane, Henry? Perhaps I can remind you…alone," she said seductively.

Henry wasn't in the mood for games. All he wanted was for Diane to leave, so that he and Catherine could finally have a chance. For years, his heart had been yearning, wandering, searching for its destination…for its home…for Catherine. Now that he had her, he wasn't going to lose her again.

(Henry) "Diane, please…I am a married man. Do not utter such things to me anymore."

(Diane) "You mean an _unhappily_ married man…That's why I dare to be so bold, without shame or fear… I only seek to liberate you from the bonds that weigh you down. You have gone back to your wife? A cold, ruthless, unfeeling woman who would have rid of you years ago if her own power hadn't been tied to you… What sorcery has she done that you have forgotten me completely? That you don't want to see me any more? You don't want to touch me anymore? …You don't want to touch me, Henry?" she asked, as she snaked her hand toward his arm trying to take hold of his hand. Henry recoiled at her touch, pulling his hand away vehemently.

(Henry) "Please, Diane. Leave me be with my wife." He said, kindly but firmly.

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(Diane) "What's going on here?" she asked, as she approached Henry's bedchamber. "Weren't you given the orders already? Why are you just waiting around?"

"I beg your pardon, my lady," the servant replied. "We have been asked to stop our work and wait for additional instructions."

(Diane) "Additional instructions? From whom?"

"Princess Catherine. She has decided to oversee the renovations herself. She's surveying the room right now."

Diane entered the chamber alone, leaving her retinue behind her. Before her was Henry's young Italian wife. They had already been married a few years, and yet, she still looked svelte – clearly she was not pregnant yet. A pregnancy would have been the only thing that threatened Diane's position at court. Henry himself had brought her to the castle as his mistress, so Diane did not need to worry about the silly girl before her. Even so, Catherine had a way of diverting Henry's attention away, and that was cause for concern.

(Catherine) "Make sure you fasten a tapestry here; I can feel a draft, and I don't want him to catch an illness. And remove these old, worn rushes. I had brought some beautiful Turkish rugs with me from Italy; have those lain out instead. And…"

Diane cleared her throat to get Catherine's attention. "My lady..." Diane greeted her with a small nod. "May I ask what you are doing?" she said with a menacing smile.

(Catherine) "What every wife has a duty to do – ensuring my husband's comfort."

The smile vanished from Diane's face. She had to show this Italian girl where her place really was…who she was to Henry's life and who Diane was. Though Catherine had been aware of Diane and had rowed with Henry about her, the women in Henry's life had never confronted each other before this day. Perhaps Catherine – being so young, so new, so alone in French court – was intimidated? Perhaps she did not want to cross her husband? Regardless, Catherine kept her distance. And Diane did not care. As long as her position was secure, Diane did not worry about Catherine. But now, Catherine was trying to leave her mark on Henry's chambers, on Henry's life…and Diane could not allow that.

Walking toward Catherine, Diane dismissed the servants and workers around them with a flick of her wrist. She spoke softly, so that the words remained between the two of them, but they still carried daggers. "Do remember…there is a difference between dreaming and _fulfilling_ those dreams. Do not fool yourself into believing that you have any power here, Princess."

Catherine was alarmed by Diane's sudden attack, particularly because she had done nothing to provoke this. "What have I done wrong?" she inquired. "What have I done that you now stand before me spewing venom? What was so heinous that you seek to destroy my marriage?"

(Diane) "First, you attempt to change Henry's routine, to keep him away from me. And now, you have taken charge of his chambers... I am not a fool. I understand everything."

(Catherine) "What do you mean? You act as though these are grave atrocities. Of course, I have taken charge of his chambers. Isn't that the right of every married woman?"

Diane moved closer. "Do not forget, your marriage to Henry is just an alliance…You have been traded…in exchange for wealth and power."

(Catherine) "It may just be an alliance to you and the rest of the world…but for me this marriage is a sacred bond, which ends only in death."

(Diane) "You need not explain the meaning of marriage to me. What marriage are you speaking of? One that is not yet whole? A marriage is only complete when there is an heir. And since Henry doesn't want to touch his frigid wife, an heir is out of the question. So, Princess Catherine, enjoy the world of French Court, enjoy the luxuries of being Henry's wife…but do not try to be a part of his life."

(Catherine) "I…" she started, startled and hurt by the barrage. "I can't believe you! How can you claim to care for him? How…when you are the biggest obstacle to his happiness?"

(Diane) "Yes! I do care for him. _I_ have ensured his every need, his every want is met. _I_ have dedicated every waking hour to his well-being. _I_ have tried to protect him from all harm. While I am here, I will allow no one to touch him, to hurt him. If anyone tried to come between Henry and me, I will destroy him…or her. I have always tried to keep him from harm's way. You think I will leave him exposed to you? Never!"

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(Henry) "DIANE! You will show my wife respect!" his voice thundered, pulling Catherine from her thoughts. And then he softened, trying to be a man that was worthy of his wife. "Diane, I'm sorry… Please understand. I know I have hurt you…and I am not blaming you for any of this. This was all my mistake. I take full responsibility for my actions. I was a bad husband, but now I am trying to be better. I cannot deny myself and Catherine and _you_ happiness and love anymore. Please trust me…please leave."

Diane was not going to cede so easily. "Love? You do not love her, Henry. You _want_ her for now…and once you've had her, you'll come back. I know that…you know that…and Catherine knows that…That's how it has always been; that's how it will always be."

(Henry) "You're right. That is how it has always been, but it will _never_ be like that again. For years, my heart has been wandering searching for its destiny…I know now that it was destined to be with Catherine."

(Diane) "You are blind, Henry. She does not love you. She does not care about you. All she wants is power. She is using you. Why can't you see that?"

(Henry) "No, Diane. I can finally see…I can finally see the unhappiness and pain I have inflicted on her. I would give anything in this world to see her happy, to see her laugh, to see her live…and to see her love. For a while, my own demons had made me weak…had made me selfish. I had forgotten that she had been my whole world when I was all alone. I cannot destroy her world any longer. When I look at her…I can see glimpses of God reflected in her. That is true love. I may be able to forsake a mere woman, but how do I forsake God? Wherever I go, wherever I turn, God will be there…and where there is God, there will be Catherine. I'm sorry, Diane. Please forgive me. I meant every word I wrote you. Please leave."

(Catherine) "Henry…" she called out. Walking to him, she placed an unsure hand on his arm. "You should speak to Diane… alone. I'm…I'm going to leave, so that you may speak without restraint or hesitation."

(Henry) "No, Catherine…you don't need to…"

(Catherine) "Henry, I have always wanted you to get everything you want," she said gently, her voice calm and soothing. "…and today is no different…but for you to realize what you truly want, I must leave."

(Henry) "Do you believe my love deserves this test?" he asked, his face reflecting his distress.

(Catherine) "_Our_ love is strong. I do not fear the future…I…I trust you. Speak to Diane alone. She deserves at least that."

Catherine had always prayed for Henry – for his happiness, for his safety…Today, she prayed again…she prayed that he find the strength within him to never let her faith weaken…She prayed that he would honor their marriage…their love…

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(King Francis) "Going somewhere?" Catherine's father-in-law had heard of the mounting discord in his son's marriage. He had refrained from stepping in to mediate their personal matters, but their argument last night had rocked the castle. He worried their marriage would never recover. There was no use trying to convince his stubborn mule of a son, so he tried to pacify his daughter-in-law instead.

(Catherine) "Marseilles. For a fortnight. I...I need to leave for a little bit."

(King Francis) "Last night the things you said to him…"

Catherine cut him off. "Last night I said a lot of things I shouldn't have…and few things that were very important for me to say."

(King Francis) "Try to understand him, Catherine…" he gently tried to persuade her.

(Catherine) "How do I understand a heart that seemingly has no place for me?"

(King Francis) "No…no…That's not true, Catherine. He loves you a lot…Look into his eyes, there is so much love there…whom else can all that love be for?"

(Catherine) "If that were true, why doesn't the love in his eyes ever reach his lips…even just once? Every day I show him how much I love him…has he ever done the same?"

King Francis did not have a response, but Catherine got her answer. Francis could see her torment and agony. She was no less than a daughter to him…and he wished he could mend her broken marriage. Catherine's family and wealth had certainly catalyzed his decision to marry his son to her. But upon meeting her, she had won him over. He had hoped that she would be the inspiration his son needed to achieve great things… that she would share every moment of his son's life – bearing half the burden of his sorrows, and doubling his joys. Francis had wanted to see their relationship grow stronger, not splinter. But things had gone too far, and now he was struggling to pick up the pieces before the shards hurt either of them.

(Catherine) "I'm sorry, Father…I cannot take it…Not anymore…Besides, why are we even discussing this? You are Henry's father. You will obviously support him in all this."

(Francis) "I may be his father, but I am no less to you, my dear. And I know you are right in all this. But just because I think this way, nothing will improve…the situation is not going to change between the two of you."

(Catherine) "The situation between us will only change when Henry changes…And that's not going to happen…" She started to walk away from him, unwilling to compromise anymore…unwilling to sacrifice anymore.

(Francis) "Catherine…Catherine!"

(Catherine) "Father, please…I'm tired…" she breathed, exhausted from the constant struggle. "I have tried plenty to understand him…to get closer to him. One day he just decided to step back from our relationship, and there was…is…nothing I can do."

(Francis) "He did not step back, Catherine…You are just more mature, more capable than he is…You raced ahead…You just have to wait for him."

(Catherine) "Why? Why is the woman always expected to wait? Why is she always expected to change? To cater to his needs?"

(Francis) "Because you are stronger, my child…Have you considered little Francis in all this?"

(Catherine) "I am not the kind of woman who will use her child as an excuse to back down. I am not that weak."

(Francis) "You are not weak, Catherine…but your marriage is…You have to give it strength…you have to give it time…"

(Catherine) "I will give this marriage nothing till Henry gives it love..."

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Was Henry finally ready to give their marriage love? Would they finally be able to strengthen it or is it poised to fragment?

Catherine had been so lost in her thoughts that she did not realize how or when she ended up in the chapel. She had left the world behind her and found herself at the altar with a silent prayer on her lips… asking for what was hers...Would He give it to her?

"Mother!" Francis's call brought her back. "Why did you leave them alone, Mother? How can you let him do this again? I had told him not to hurt you again…I swear, if Father… " His strode up the aisle purposefully; he wanted to ensure she was alright.

(Catherine) "Francis…" she said tenderly, as she placed a hand on his chest trying to placate him. "It's alright. I did what was right… I love your father… I had to let him go. If he returns, I will know that he was always mine. If he doesn't, then we were never meant to be."

(Francis) "How can you be so calm, Mother? How can you love him so completely without ever expecting anything back? Do you not feel the pain in this love?"

(Catherine) "Pain…?" She had a distant look in her eyes as though she were speaking to herself more than Francis. "Love is a gift, so how can there be any pain? My uncle used to say, every heart where love dwells is Heaven itself…and a heart without love is Hell...How can a heart filled with love be pained? And as for expecting love in return…you cannot control love, Francis. One does not love only if it is reciprocated… I had shut all the doors of my heart to prevent love from ever entering…And then your father came along laughing, singing, dancing…and he declared his love for me. Even without him knowing it, these past few weeks, he taught me what true love is – unselfish, uncontrolled…he taught me that there is no pain in true love. The love that I had killed within me a long time ago, he awakened once again…. How can I shackle that love again? How can I shackle him? If he leaves, I will at least have the memories of us together…and I…I will be alright."

(Francis) "Your life is not that simple, Mother. Father, cannot do this to you. I will not allow him. He has put you through enough. I am going to…"

(Catherine) "Francis, please…If you love your mother, you will not involve yourself in this."

(Francis) "But…" Catherine looked at him beseechingly, trying to convince him. "Very well…" he said with a resigned sigh. "But if he harms you, I will _never_ forgive him."

(Catherine) "Francis…I need some time…to myself. May I be alone?" As she watched Francis walk away, she desperately tried to believe the words she had spoken. Her heart was faltering under bouts of hope and despair…The menacing solitude around her sent shivers through her. How long she waited there, she did not know…And then she heard footsteps…

(Catherine) "Henry…" she sighed, letting out the breath that had been trapped in her chest. He stopped in his tracks, separating them by just a step. "Is this a farewell or a sacrifice?" Her voice struggled to stay even. Her face was contorted in sorrow; she did not turn to him lest he see that her eyes were brimming with tears.

(Henry) "Neither," he said, stepping beside her and clasping her hand. They stood facing the crucifix before them. "…This is a new beginning." His voice filled with promise and hope.

Henry took Catherine by the shoulders, and turned her toward him. "Catherine…Diane is gone forever…and I am here to vow to you, before God himself, that my love is yours and yours alone. I vow to you that, from this day forward, I will only give myself to you. I will kiss away all your sorrows, and bring you every happiness. I will soothe all your worries. My desires will only be focused on you. I promise to always protect you. In good times and in bad, I will love, respect, and cherish you. I promise to bridge the silence between us. I will never let the shadows of our past hurt you. I will erase the painful memories that are ablaze in your mind; I will wipe away the frozen tears you have held within you. I vow I will never let any harm come to you or your heart. Even when death arrives, I will embrace it first so that it won't dare to touch you."

Catherine placed a finger over his lips. "When death arrives, we will embrace it together. Even death cannot separate us now." She threw her arms around him, hugging him close. She did not want to let go of him ever again. Years of pain and love, heartache and bliss came pouring out of her…The tears of an eternity streamed down her face.

The most important parts of a marriage are trust and honesty…and after so long, she finally trusted him again… The love she had lost years ago had returned to her…Their old love story was going to be written anew…

* * *

**AN**: I hope you guys liked this reunion! I know Catherine is a little meek in the first flashback here. In that sequence, I think of her as Mary used to be, before she became strong and cunning. I imagine Catherine was probably less confrontational until she was forced to change by the events in her life. Stay tuned for the consummation in 1 – maybe 2 – chapters!

LinaOso, Thanks, hun! I hate Richard too, so I wanted to cleanse her of him before she got on with Henry. Although, I'm glad you got feels from my version of Richard, I don't plan on bringing him back again. I never felt he was the right guy for her. I don't mind her having her fun (because Henry ignored her and had plenty of his own), but neither Richard nor Liam met the standard in my book. She needs someone more like Henry (or maybe even the Duke of Guise) – sexy, powerful, cunning, and more her equal. I hope she gets someone like that next season!

demedicigirl, Thank you so much, darling. I agree with you, in that little scene he had with Catherine it seemed as though he loved her deeply once, but she only turned to him as a last resort. I just wanted to be very clear that she did not love him, so that she can move on with Henry. Now that Richard and Diane have been dealt with, it is going to be all Catherine and Henry!

Guest, Thank you for the little nudge! I was being lazy and dragging my feet on finishing this chapter. You spurred me to finish it. I hope you liked it!


	17. Chapter 17

**AN**: Sorry for the delay, guys! I had a major dilemma on where to take this chapter, so I struggled a little to make the decision. SHOUTOUT to my homie **LINAOSO**! You are a lifesaver! Thank you so, so, soooooo much for all the guidance and support. I could not have finished this without you. This chapter is dedicated to you! I hope you like!

Also, **fair warning**, this chapter is pretty graphic in both good and bad ways. So, proceed with caution!

* * *

(Henry) "Catherine!" he bellowed as he stormed into her chambers. Though it was well past dinner, he had not seen his wife since that afternoon. Catherine had already bathed and changed into her nightgown, and was just about to take her hair down when her husband startled her. They had yearned for some time together that day, but their duties as rulers had demanded immediate attention, and just as they exited the chapel, the King and Queen of France were pulled apart. They weren't even afforded a moment to seal their new love, their new beginning, their new union with a kiss. And after anxiously wiling away those torturous hours apart, they were finally going to be together.

But Henry appeared furious for some reason – had the treaty negotiations gone wrong? Or was it something else? "EVERYBODY OUT!" he commanded, sending all of Catherine's servants and ladies scurrying away in fear. Catherine was frozen in place, stunned by her husband's disposition. Once the room emptied, Henry closed the door forcefully and locked it shut, before turning to his wife.

(Henry) "You! What have you done?" he asked sternly. Alarmed by the change in his mood, Catherine winced, and retreated as he strode over to her. "Could you not have just explained all this to me? Why go through such a roundabout way?"

(Catherine) "What…what did I do, Henry? What's all this about?" she asked as she was backed against the wall behind her. Henry menacingly stepped forward until there only remained a few inches between them.

(Henry) "Wall…" he said calmly.

Catherine's confusion registered on her face. "Wall? What do you mean?" she questioned.

(Henry) "The glass wall that has separated us has finally been shattered." Henry stepped forward, and placed his hands on his wife's shoulders. "You really scared me, mon amour. Did you really have to do all this to make me understand our love?" he implored sweetly. "You lovingly explain everything to me, could you not have explained our love in the same way? What if your foolish husband didn't understand? You're not going to leave me, are you?"

Catherine's smile was reassuring and warm. "When a woman has to make a decision, Henry, she takes a lot of time to think about it – considering everyone and everything it will affect…but once she makes up her mind, she will never turn away from it…come what may."

Henry wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled himself closer to her, and kissed her softly on her cheek. She looked radiant in her ivory-colored, chiffon nightgown, and red, velvet robe. Her skin was pearly and smooth; a pink flush had returned to her cheeks. And her scent…her scent was intoxicating. She had already taken her jewels off, but she still sparkled as though she were adorned with a thousand diamonds. Henry could not take his eyes off her…like he couldn't on their wedding night. Henry unclasped the clip in her hair, sweeping her silky tresses forward over her shoulder. "Now, you look like the Caterina I fell in love with," he said, brushing the loose strands away from her face. He was so happy…so content…so in love.

Catherine reached up and removed his crown, tossing it onto the chair beside them. "Now, you look like the Henry I fell in love with…well, with a little less hair," she said, causing both of them to chuckle. Not even in their wildest dreams had they hoped to be together like this.

(Catherine) "Henry?"

(Henry) "Hmm?"

(Catherine) "You are my husband, right?"

(Henry) "I certainly hope so", he responded with a laugh.

Catherine looked up at him lovingly and eagerly with flecks of hazel dancing in her eyes. "Then make me your wife…"

(Henry) "Are you sure?" She nodded with a smile – she was finally ready to be his again, completely and only his. Henry brought his lips to hers, kissing her with a lifetime's love and passion. Catherine's arms clutched his lapel as he pulled her closer to him, his body melting into hers. Henry's tongue nudged at her lips seeking entry; she obliged, using her own tongue to deepen their kiss. As his hands roamed in search of the ties of her night gown, Henry rediscovered the contours of her body – her pert derriere, her curved hips, her small waist…He fondled her breasts, her nipples hardening under the touch of his fingers. Her hands deftly undid the buttons of his jacket, and tugged his shirt out of his trousers. Parting their lips, Catherine removed his jacket, and slowly lifted his shirt off him, her finger brushing against his warm skin. Henry slipped her robe off, and took a small step back, drinking in the sight before him – his wife, more ravishing than he could have ever imagined her to be…she took his breath away.

Henry pressed himself fully against her, allowing her to feel his arousal through the flimsy chiffon. He formed a trail of wet kisses from the corner of her mouth past her cheek down to her neck. He lingered at her neck for a moment, his kisses increasingly firm and feverish as she tilted her neck for him. Henry slipped her nightgown down one shoulder, leaving sloppy kisses from the slope of her neck to the edge of her shoulder. He traced the neckline of her dress with his hand, tugging it down to expose the top of her breast. Henry continued his path of kisses from her shoulder to the bare mound, sucking and biting her gently – not enough to hurt, but enough to mark her as his. Henry's kisses followed the rise and fall of one breast while his hand fondled the other. Henry's mouth played with her nipple through the fabric, flicking his tongue over it. Catherine moaned, arching her back and thrusting herself toward him. His teeth undid the tie in the front of her gown giving him better access to her supple mounds.

(Catherine) "Henry…" she commanded softly, extracting her body away from him. Catherine slid her hand down from the back of his neck, feeling his every muscle. While keeping her fiery gaze locked on him, Catherine undid his belt, and opened the restraints of his trousers. Unabashed, she leaned into him, kissing him passionately as she slipped her hand into his trousers, finding his stiff manhood and sending waves of delight through him.

"Mmmmm," Henry moaned against her lips. He allowed her to pleasure him for a few moments before extracting her hand from his trousers. "Catherine…" he breathed, "Tonight… is about you…" He brought their bodies together, taking control once again. "I want to give you all the love…[he kissed her wrist]…all the pleasure… [he kissed her just below her elbow]…all the happiness [he kissed her just below her shoulder]…you deserve." Their lips met in a scorching kiss as Henry lifted her skirts, his hands gliding up her alabaster skin. As his hands moved up to their destination, his lips journeyed down her body. Catherine closed her eyes in ecstasy as he laid kisses on her neck, her chest, the crevice between her breasts, her stomach…

(Catherine) "Henry! Stop! What are you doing?...Stop!...Stop!" she said, both commanding and pleading. Henry knelt before her, perplexed at her sudden visceral reaction. She was panicked, frenzied; a terror filled her eyes as her breathing quickened. Her skirts were gathered around her thigh right above Henry's hand; Catherine frantically tried to push them back down. Stepping away from him in the minimal space she had.

(Henry) "It's alright, Catherine," he said, trying to reassure her. "I assure you that you will enjoy this. I only wish to please you."

(Catherine) "No! Please, no….please…" She avoided his gaze, fearful that he would discover her truth…her shame. She wouldn't dare show him her most intimate scars. He may have seen the ones on her wrist and ankles, but never those – she would not, could not show him those.

(Henry) "What is it, Catherine?" Henry clasped her hands as her rose to his feet, worry and concern written all over his face.

Catherine, however, pulled away, trying to free her hands from his hold. "Noth-Nothing…I... just…uh… it's just you've never…we've never done anything like this," she said with a gulp still not meeting his gaze.

He gave her a reassuring smile. "That's because I have slept with you, I have had sex with you, but I have never made love to you. But now, I intend to treat you like the Queen you are."

(Catherine) "Henry, please…can't we just…" Her voice was soft, pained.

(Henry) "Catherine…" he whispered gently as he held her cheek, caressing her face and trying to catch her gaze. "You needn't worry about your scars…" He kissed her on the forehead, trying to soothe the sudden frightened worry in her eyes. "I've known about them for years. They…they do not matter. Only you matter to me."

She turned away from him, trying to cover herself up again; she pulled her clothes tighter toward her, and wrapped her arms around herself. "You don't understand, Henry…" she said with a choked voice. "They always matter…they will always matter…"

(Henry) "Then help me understand…please?"

Catherine turned back to her husband, trying to smile. With a shake of her head, she put on her mask again. "No. It's all right. Can we please just forget…and forge ahead?"

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Catherine jolted up – startled and afraid – when she heard the sound of the door open. Her hand immediately gripped the dagger she kept beside her, alert and ready to strike. She had always kept that knife with her – not always…just since Florence. She had vowed that she would never let herself be vulnerable again after that ordeal, and yet, Catherine and her children had been left exposed to Count Vincent's attack. How could this have happened? How could she have let this happen?

Charles and Henry lay beside her, sound asleep. They had crawled into bed with her, traumatized by Count Vincent's siege. They had been too afraid to stay in their own rooms, and she had been too afraid to let them out of her sight. Even as her sons had drifted to sleep, she had stayed awake and vigilant. She had to protect them at all costs.

When the unexpected man had entered her chambers, Catherine feared the worst. The bodies of those Italians still lay in the dining hall; she had seen them with her own eyes – she had killed them with her own hands – but what if one had gotten away? What if a lone assailant was now returning to harm her family? She rose out of the bed, prepared for a battle. Her grip tightened around the weapon as she resolutely readied herself to attack. Without a word she advanced toward the threat; however, when the shadowy figure entered the light, she saw it was Henry.

Catching the gleam off her blade, he raised his arms. "It's just me, Catherine." He sounded slightly amused; she was not. "I returned as fast as I could. I hate to disturb you at this hour, but I had to make sure our children and… you were safe." Catherine gave him a curt nod.

(Henry) "Are…are you alright?"

(Catherine) Another nod. "I am perfectly capable of safeguarding myself."

(Henry) "I know; I can see that," he said, motioning toward her hand and offering her a reassuring smile. "I just wanted to make sure myself." Catherine's eyes leapt to the bed when she heard one of her sons stir.

(Henry) "How are Charles and Henry?"

(Catherine) "A little shaken – rightfully so, but they will come around."

(Henry) "Hmm…well now that I am here, they needn't worry."

(Catherine) "You should have been here in the first place, Henry" she spat. "How could you let this happen? This is France, not Florence. The least you could do is protect our family."

(Henry) "You needn't get cross with me," he snapped, before taking a breath to calm down. "I am here now. There is nothing to fear."

(Catherine) "Fear…? What do you know of fear, Henry?" She diverted her eyes. "You are a man. All you have to fear is death… But women… women have to fear a life worse than death." There was no anger, no resentment in her voice – just a resigned pain.

(Henry) "Catherine…are you sure you are alright?"

She did not answer his question. "You should…go see how Kenna is healing. She was quite hurt…And…I did not see Diane tonight either," she started before noticing the confused and concerned expression on Henry's face. She hastily dismissed her compassion, and, with as much callousness as she could muster, she added, "I was too busy ensuring our sons' well-being to bother with your mistresses."

Once Henry had ensured Kenna and Diane's safety, he returned to Catherine's chambers. On countless nights, he had watched her wake with a start – cold sweat on her brow, terror and agony in her eyes, flinching when he reached out to comfort her. On countless nights, he had watched her turn restlessly, haunted by unknown, unrelenting nightmares. Many people in the castle – people he cared about – had been traumatized by the hostage-taking, but Catherine was the only one Henry was worried about; she was the only one he wanted to care for that night.

She was still awake, pacing the length of the chamber, when he entered again. He did not miss that she was still clutching the dagger from before, prepared to vanquish any threat.

(Catherine) "You're back? Henry, wh–"

(Henry) "I will be staying here tonight," he said determinedly, not inviting any dissension. Noticing that she was about to protest, he looked into her eyes with sincerity and added. "I know you are fearless, Catherine. I know you do not need my protection. I just need to allay my own fears about…about…about Charles and Henry. I would like to be here with…them tonight."

He lay awake, watching her till she eventually fell asleep. If he had not been there, she would not have allowed herself any rest. As he watched her slow, calm breathing, Henry clasped her hand with his… to comfort her, to reassure her, to show her that he is by her side and he _will_ protect her. She may never tell him about her nightmares, but he would always try to shelter her from them.

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(Henry) "Catherine..." he said softly, as he slowly brought her to a seat. He clasped his hands around hers, hoping his warmth would engulf her. "Won't you share your sorrows with me, dear wife? Won't you allow me to help you carry your burdens?" He looked earnest, so genuinely concerned. She wanted to tell him everything, but she feared that that would cost her his love.

(Catherine) "Henry…you…you will hate me forever." Her voice was strained, weighed down, hushed with an heartbreaking pain; her eyes were brimming with a lifetime of unshed tears. "You will _never_ look at me the same again…In your eyes, I will forever be damaged… broken… weak… I will no longer be worthy of being your wife…or Queen…"

(Henry) "No, mon amour, you are my companion, my love. You will always be the strongest, bravest, smartest, most beautiful woman to me. That truth will _never_ change." He brought a tender hand to her face. "Neither am I blind to your reality, nor are you unaware of my feelings. If you believe my love will diminish after learning of your past, know that that is inconceivable. You have always taken on my every hardship as your own. Allow me to care for you as you have for me…Please, Catherine… give me all the pain that has tormented you for decades."

Catherine crumbled into his arms, her anguish pouring out of her in burning tears. "I…I tried to stop them, Henry…I didn't want it to happen…I…I didn't ask for it." He was voice was choked with agony as she sobbed. "They were laughing…animals…I begged them to spare me…they were taunting me as they destroyed my soul… It hurt so much…my whole body…and it was so, so cold… They…they were laughing at me...they said…they said that they knew I wanted it… even though I was screaming "no", that I liked it. I didn't, Henry. I _really_ didn't… I didn't _want_ it; I didn't _like_ it…please, you have to believe me…Please, Henry. Please…Tell me you believe me…You do, right?...Please?" She looked so distressed; he would have given anything to turn back time and stop this from happening to her…he would have done anything to help her forget.

(Henry) "Catherine…shhhh…it's alright, it's alright... I believe you. I have always believed you. No woman would ever want that. If I did not believe you, I would not have tried to protect you on our wedding night."

(Catherine) "You've…you've known since the beginning?"

(Henry) "No…not exactly…I was aware of the rumors, unsure whether they were true…but then you flinched, stiffened, retreated whenever I tried to touch you as though you were fearful that my very touch would burn your skin …Besides, I may have been young when we were wed, but I was certainly not innocent…I may not have known how to heal you, but I did try to shield you from the world."

(Catherine) "The blood on our bed…that was you, wasn't it? To protect my reputation… Why didn't you tell me?"

(Henry) "Because my ignorance was your bliss…my forgetting helped you forget…at least some of the time." He placed a kiss of her forehead. With a kind smile, he reassured her, "None of this changes how I feel. You are the only woman worthy of being my wife. You are my equal, my Queen. Your terrors will _never_ touch you again. Believe me now when I say, I will _never_ let anyone harm you again. What was done to you…what happened in Florence was not your fault…you…you are untainted – I know that is true…as true as the sun's rise each morning…as true as the word of God in my Bible…as true as my love for you."

That night, Henry gently cradled her in his arms as she told him her darkest secrets – how they held her down, how she refused to cry in front of them, how they called her the Medici whore. She told him of how her blood still curdled to this day when her demons suddenly decided to torment her…how her irrepressible memories made her believe that this life is not worth living because it was truly worse than death…how she hated herself…and how she wanted to end it all, end herself…till Henry, till their children brought her back from the doors of hell.

And Henry…he listened to her every word, wiped away her every tear, kissed her every scar, and loved her with all his heart. Catherine did not know when they drifted off to sleep, but when she awoke the next morning a new hope had dawned, and she was finally at peace.

* * *

**AN**: Even though it is really short, I wanted to include a little scene that addressed the Count Vincent aftermath for two reasons: 1) the ordeal could have triggered memories of Catherine's own attack and we didn't get to see her deal with that; and 2) I could not stand it that Henry was not concerned for his wife's well-being. I hope you guys liked it!

Unnamed visitor, I love your Henry + Catherine spirit! I'm so glad you liked the flashbacks. Catherine was very close to her father-in-law in real life, so I wanted to bring that into this story. I am trying to use the flashbacks to show the highs and lows of their relationship, and to tie up lose ends of their frayed relationship, so it's really good to hear that they are working! Thanks for all your support!

LinaOso, I cannot thank you enough for all the encouragement. I am so happy you liked how I did that last chapter. I figured that her love is as strong as Catherine, so I hope it was true to her character even though it was a slightly less feisty side of her. And yes, Henry's speech was supposed to be like a vow renewal - I was inspired by Marshall and Lily's vow renewal in HIMYM. Hopefully, Henry will take his vows seriously this time! How was this chapter for you? Did the fans come in handy?


	18. Chapter 18

**AN**: Finally, had the chance to finish this after two very crazy weeks. This is PART 1 of the **consummation**. I am keeping the M rating for this chapter, so again PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Hope you guys like it!

(Catherine) "Henry…wake up…" her voice sweetly called out to him. He could hear her skirts rustle over the floor as she flitted about the room. The morning sun streamed into the room, welcoming the new day. Henry opened one eye, and searched for his wife. Catherine was picking up his jacket and shirt from the floor; he smiled – she never could stand even the slightest mess. She was already in her gown for the day, but her hair was undone – the light dancing off her copper locks. Her jewels and crown still neatly lay on the dressing table. No doubt she was waiting for a maid to help with it all, but she certainly would not call for one until Henry was awake. There was a glow about her, but it did nothing to diminish her regal air. He surreptitiously placed a little folded note on her bed stand, and pretended to be asleep again.

"Henry," she called out again as she walked toward the bed, determined to rouse him from his slumber. A smile crept onto her lips as she observed Henry sprawled out over her bed, his mouth partially agape. It seemed like an eternity had passed since she last saw this sight. Back then, she used to lean against his chest and tousle his hair to awake him. In many ways he was still the same Henry…in many ways he was a completely different person. This morning, after many years, she had woken up with his arms around her, feeling lighter, more secure than she had in a long time. No longer would she wallow in her pain and sorrow…not after last night.

Catherine sat beside him and leaned against his chest, her loose locks brushing against him. She gently closed his mouth, and took a silent second to enjoy this moment. "Henry…" she softly started again.

(Henry) "_Ti amo_ (I love you)," he responded sleepily without opening his eyes.

(Catherine) "Good morning, Henry… it's time to wake up," she urged.

(Henry) "Mhmm" Still with his eyes shut, he lazily wrapped one arm around her and flung the other in the direction of her bed stand, hoping to direct her attention. His ploy worked; curious, Catherine reached for the piece of paper that caught her eye.

The note only contained two words: _Always…Forever…_

As her brow furrowed in confusion, Henry sat up and lovingly whispered, "I needed to tell you… _You_ are the one I have _always_ loved…_You_ are the one I will _forever_ love…Till the end of my days…I love that radiant smile, that childish mischief, that fiery anger…" Henry gently brushed her tresses back. "…the impish glint in your eyes, the carefree insolence of your laugh, the silky shine of your curls, all of it, all of you…and you need to know that nothing will ever change that…I love you…always and forever."

Her smile grew, causing her eyes to twinkle with happiness, as he laid a kiss on her forehead.

(Catherine) "I am going to keep this by my heart…always."

Henry's eyes widened as she tucked the note into her bosom. "You know I may have forgotten a thing or two. Let me just quickly correct that," he said with a playful lilt in his voice as he reached for her breast.

(Catherine) "Hey!" She chastised, slapping his hand away.

(Henry) "Hey!" He protested with a chuckle. "Alright, alright … well, now it's your turn." Seeing her puzzled reaction, he continued. "Now it's your turn to give me something…you know, to express your love…" He grinned impishly at her bewilderment. "What? You didn't get me anything? Uh oh! That's means you'll have to give me whatever I want." He hugged her close and fell back into the sheets.

(Catherine) "Henry!" she squealed as he rolled her onto her back. "Don't be naughty," she put up a half-hearted protest through her delighted giggles as he burrowed into her neck. "Henry, darling, we…we have things to do…"

Henry made a trail of kisses to her lips. He kissed her passionately as his hand fondled her breast. "Henry…" she gasped between kisses. "We really must…" Henry brushed aside her insincere denials with a laugh, and kissed her more feverishly. As his tongue explored her mouth, his hand slid down her body and tugged at her skirts. Catherine succumbed to their desires and encircled her arms around his body, pulling him closer to her.

Henry had just reached the final layer of her skirts, when they were unceremoniously interrupted. "Mama! Mama!" The shouts were accompanied by the sound of little hands banging on the door.

Henry slumped atop her. "Little Henry?"

(Catherine) "Mhmm," she assented with a little nod.

(Henry) "Do you have to?" She gave him a sheepish smile. "Mother before wife, huh?"

(Catherine) "Always," she said with a warm grin. Henry however made no move to release her as the banging started again. "You…uh…Henry, you should go…_compose_ yourself." Henry rolled over beside her with a sigh. Catherine propped herself up, and turned to her husband. "Henry…thank you …for last night…for everything…" She gave him a little peck on his cheek, before trying the leave.

As she moved to get out of the bed, Henry held her elbow and pulled her back to him. "You needn't thank me. Ever. I have always felt lucky to have you…I still do and I always will." He kissed her once again before finally letting her go.

Catherine winked. "You truly are lucky." She leaned in and flirtatiously whispered, "See you tonight."

(Henry) "I can't wait that long, mon amour" he called after her as she walked to the door. "And you know how relentless I am. I will woo you all day till you acquiesce!" She turned to give him a coquettish smile, before throwing her hair up and exiting the room to join little Henry.

Henry hadn't been lying when he said he would be relentless. As Catherine strolled through the garden listening to little Henry excitedly tell her about his lessons, a servant arrived with a message from her husband.

* * *

_You are my love; you are my addiction;_

_You are my faith; you are my prayer;_

_You are my sin; you are my penance;_

_You are my happiness; you are my dreams;_

_Listen, my heart is saying something to you, come to me._

_My heart is calling you, come to me._

* * *

Despite her delight, Catherine maintained a blank expression on her face as she dismissed the messenger with a wave.

However, the servant balked hesitantly. "I…I am sorry, Your Majesty, but…the king has ordered that I return with your response."

Catherine was contemplative for a moment. "Tell him…I thank him; however, I decline."

Henry would not concede so easily. How could he – he had yet to obtain what he desired. In the afternoon, as Catherine lounged in the Great Hall, another missive arrived for her.

* * *

_You are in my every heartbeat; you are in my every breath;_

_You are my heart; you are my soul;_

_You are my passion; you are my intoxication_.

_New desires have been awakened in me._

_They are creating a new melody. Come and listen to it._

_My heart is __calling _you, come to me.

* * *

Though her heart rejoiced, Catherine pursed her lips to conceal a joyful smile. All the ladies of the court were there, including Mary and her friends; as their queen, she had to maintain her poise under their inquisitive glares. "Tell the king, I thank him; however, I do not acquiesce," she said, dismissing the man with a flick of her wrist.

However, Henry was persistent. At the banquet that night, Catherine stood surveying the room, when her husband approached behind her. Maintaining his stoic expression, he bent down and softly spoke in her ear.

* * *

_My eyes lay awake with visions of you. Won't you cover them with your touch?_

_My lips thirst for your kiss. Won't you quench them with your lips?_

_My loneliness aches for your company. Won't you comfort me with your love?_

_My desires are calling you, come to me._

_Forgetting all our troubles, come to me._

_My heart is __calling _you, come to me.

* * *

Catherine bit her lip to suppress her grin; however, this time she was slower in hiding the slight upward curl of her lips. Slightly turning her head to Henry, she gave him a curt nod to acknowledge his presence, and then walked away, leaving him longing for more.

He watched her intently as she floated through the room conversing with various nobles, conferring with Nostradamus, and commanding the servants. Of all the women Henry had ever pursued, Catherine was always the hardest to win over – and the only one worth chasing. With all the other women, he was always in control, but Catherine…Catherine had this allure, this absolute power over him. With her, he always felt like that young groom excitedly, impatiently awaiting his wedding night – aching to whisk away his bride for their consummation. She – and she alone – ignited a fire in him unmatched by any other. What he wouldn't do to steal her away right now! But no, he would wait till he truly earned his prize.

Swatting away the nobles that buzzed about him, Henry took his place of honor next to his wife at the table. She, however, kept her attention focused on the lady she was conversing with; he wouldn't allow her to ignore him for long. As Lord Something-or-the-other offered platitudes beside him, Henry slid his foot under Catherine's skirts and up her leg. She gripped his knee and attempted to push his leg back down. He, refusing to relent, clasped her hand with his and dismissed those around them. Slipping his hand into the valley between her legs, Henry gave her thigh a firm squeeze as he leaned closer to her and whispered.

* * *

_Without you, why does my life seem worthless?_

_Without you, why does my life seem so unfamiliar?_

_Without you, why does my life seem so empty, so lonely?_

_Without you, why does my life seem incomplete?_

_Don't fight against your desires, come to me._

_Indulge my ardent wishes, come to me._

_My heart is __calling _you, come to me.

* * *

The heat rose in Catherine's cheeks as they flushed with pink. She was too distracted by Henry to even care if the court had witnessed their queen blushing. Catherine clutched his hand to stop him from advancing. With a chuckle, he then slipped his hand around her; running his fingers up her back, he sent shivers down her spine. Henry enjoyed troubling her throughout the meal, watching her both revel and squirm from his touch.

Afraid that she was going to lose her composure before the entire court, Catherine prepared to retire to her chambers the first chance she could. Henry eagerly rose to follow her when a few members of his Privy Council requested an immediate audience regarding some pressing matter. She couldn't help but torment him a little. "When we were distant, you were still close to me," she teased as she caressed his arm. "And now that we are so close…you needn't be so distant." As she slipped out of the hall, she glanced back at him with an impish, tantalizing gleam in her eyes, enticing him to her.

When Henry finally entered her chambers, Catherine's ladies were readying her for bed. The rain outside pattered softly against the castle walls, and the wind hummed a quaint tune. Catherine was in her nightclothes and out of her jewelry. He observed her silently as she swept her hair forward and brushed it purposefully at her dressing table. Though she continued to direct her maids, she kept her eyes trained on him in the mirror.

(Catherine) "Send word to Bernard that I wish to preview a few scenes of the play tomorrow with the completed costumes and sets. I want to see the results of my patronage. Also, inform the children's tutors that I will be attending their lessons tomorrow to check their progress, and to discuss their future studies… Make sure the gardeners plant the new flower bushes from Spain, before they die. All other matters can be discussed tomorrow. That will be all for now. You are all dismissed."

Once the room finally cleared, she turned to face Henry. He stepped toward her readily, anxious to take her in his arms. However, she performed an exaggerated yawn.

(Henry) "Are…are you sleepy?" he asked, perplexed.

(Catherine) "Obviously, Henry. I didn't get much sleep last night…and I was so busy all day today, I didn't get a moment of rest. I am completely exhausted, so it's no surprise I'm sleepy. We should go to sleep right away."

(Henry) "Go to sleep?...What do you mean by go to sleep?"

(Catherine) "I mean let's go to sleep."

(Henry) "But…but…"

(Catherine) "But what, Henry? Do you have something you wish to speak with me about?"

(Henry) "No…but…"

(Catherine) "Very well. Then, we should go to sleep."

(Henry) "So…now we are just going to sleep…like we do every other night?"

(Catherine) "Yes, of course," she said turning back toward her dressing table to set her brush down. "As you've heard, I have a full day tomorrow, so we really must sleep soon."

Henry spied his mischievous smile in the mirror – he should have known that she was just teasing him.

(Henry) "You are absolutely right, Catherine."

(Catherine) "About what?" she asked, facing him again.

(Henry) "We really should go to sleep." Her smile vanished and her brow furrowed as he pulled her leg. "We both have a lot to do tomorrow…and I should probably start my day early..."

(Catherine) "You…you really want to go to sleep?"

(Henry) "Yes…As you said, I have nothing to speak with you about, so…You're right, as always…Good night."

(Catherine) "G–Good night?" she said pouting as she turned away again.

(Henry) "Oh, Catherine, one more thing." When she spun around to look at him, he was kneeling before her on one knee, holding a hand out for her to take.

(Catherine) "Henry…what…" she began, looking puzzled.

He held both his arms up, miming a waltz.

(Catherine) "There's no music…" she said softly.

Henry rose to his feet, and closed the distance between them. Gently taking her hand, he held it over his heart. "Here's your music."

Catherine let out a little laugh. "How many women have actually fallen of this?"

(Henry) "Just one…years ago…This breathtakingly beautiful Italian girl…who argued with me, and danced with me, and stole my heart…" He caressed her cheek gently, and, tilting his head toward the rain outside, he added "…and whenever she smiled, the Heavens would rain down in celebration."

He stepped back and offered her his hand again, but this time she took it. Encircling her waist, he pulled her close, and danced her about the room and on to the balcony. "Henry!" she gasped as the rain drenched them both. He only hugged her closer and continued their waltz. Every droplet seemed to rejoice in their union, sparkling with the light of a million stars. Henry dipped his wife, tracing the slope of her neck with his lips before pulling her back up. Suddenly shy, she turned with a coy smile. He held her hand and brought her back him. Brushing her locks aside, he gradually traced her outline with his finger – from the side of her face, past her neck, over her shoulder, down her arm, and finally stopping at her waist. He held her waist and spun her around to him. Unbuttoning his jacket, Henry held it over their heads – not to protect them from the rain, but rather to shelter them from the world, much as he had the night he stole a kiss – their first kiss – from her. And in that memory, she tilted her head up to him, inviting his lips to hers. He kissed her tenderly with promises of love and hope.

Henry dropped his jacket, and lifted her in his arms; she threw her hands around his neck as he carried her to their bed. He laid her down lovingly, and took a step back to drink in her beauty. Her clothes clung to her; the now wet nightgown was almost transparent, revealing the magnificence of her body. Beads of water lazily slid off her. She raised her arms, beckoning him to her. He, however, stood frozen – in admiration and in awe of his wife.

Catherine sat up, assured and calm. Pulling him toward her, she placed a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth. Their breaths were heavy and slow… time seemed to stand still. She allowed their lips to graze against each other for a moment before kissing him with all her love and all her passion. Her hand wound down his body, tugged at his shirt, and undid his trousers.

Henry pulled away from her, swiftly removing his shirt. He undid the ties of her nightgown, and slowly undressed her. Her porcelain skin glistened in the firelight. He kissed her with a fire as he gently laid their bodies down. While he nuzzled the slope of her neck, his hands roamed her form till they found the cleft between her legs. She inhaled sharply as he inserted one and then two fingers into her womanhood. As he moved his fingers harder and faster within her, his lips wandered her figure, exciting each and every one of her erogenous spots. He gently sucked on her nipples, flicking his tongue around them and causing them to harden.

(Catherine) "Henry…" she breathed, "I wa– want…you in me…now…" Feeling his stiff arousal against her body, she urged him to enter her fully. He ignored her commands, and pressed his thumb against her clit, increasing her gratification and eliciting a deep moan from her. She desperately bit her lip to suppress a pleasured scream as her muscles tightened and her body's excitement climbed.

As she struggled catch her breath, Henry traced a path of kisses down her form. He kissed the pink lips of her cavern before snaking his tongue inside her. Every inch of her body reacted in glee as he pleasured her – her toes curled, her back arched, and every cell in her body called out to him. A slew of incomprehensible Italian words spewed from her lips, interspersed by moans and breathless screams of his name.

Henry felt her body begin to tremble as it reached its climax. Her every fiber fervently ached for a release. "Oh…god…Hen– Henry…p–please…" she whimpered as her body quivered in ecstasy, unleashing waves of delight. Before she could climb down from her peak, he grabbed her backside, and pulled her toward him, thrusting his erect manhood into her tight cavern. Still inside her, he drew himself up, and brought them face-to-face. He kissed her passionately, giving her a taste of herself. His tongue danced inside her mouth while his hands squeezed and tugged at her bosom, causing her to curve her body into his. Her body was torturously, gloriously aroused, and she desperately wanted to have him. "HENRY! I. NEED. YOU. NOW!"

Henry pushed deeper inside her. At first, he slowly pumped in and out of her – retracting almost fully before entering into her completely again. Her supple breasts brushed against his caramel skin, taking him to new highs. Catherine wrapped her arms around him, her nails digging into his back as she clutched him closer to herself. She pulled her knees up, and threw a leg over his shoulder, allowing him to drive deeper into her. As Henry's thrusts became faster and more forceful, Catherine clenched the sheets, her Italian becoming more furious and urgent. She howled his name as he plunged into her, and the two reached the pinnacle of their passion together, their heat erupting from their loins.

As they slowly descended from their elation, Catherine closed her eyes, relishing the moment... and allowing her tears to spill.

* * *

LinaOso, I cannot thank you enough for your help with the last chapter! It would not have turned out as well as it did without your input. I hope this chapter helped put your shattered heart together! I am sure your fans came in handy with this chapter =)

MariaPurt, you know I had the same concern writing that part! I was worried it didn't make great sense, but here's how I rationalized it. (1) Since it was only a few droplets of blood, she may not have noticed it on her wedding night, and may have only learned about it much later. (2) Even if she did know about it, she may have either thought it was a natural part of intercourse (especially considering how violent her first time was), or she may have been relieved that the her honor had been protected (as you know, in those days, a lady's virtue was verified by checking for blood from the hymen after the consummation). (3) Catherine of Aragon (allegedly) did not know until years later that her dueña had put drops of goat's blood on her sheets after her failed wedding night with Arthur. I figured things like this were common enough that it may not have originally alarmed Catherine, and even if it did, she may have been too scared to go around asking about it. I hope you enjoyed the rest of the chapter though despite that little speed bump!

demedicigirl, I am completely with you about not wanting to believe all this happened to her. She is just so fierce that I cannot imagine her so vulnerable. If any of it were even remotely true, I am sure the Medicis would have gone out of their way to bury the truth. On the show, I couldn't bear that they showed Henry checking in on Kenna, but never once asking about Catherine and their sons after the Count Vincent crisis. It made me so mad! I hope you got some closure like I did with the sequence I wrote.

Unnamed visitor, Thank you so much for you support and encouragement! I am so happy that you connected with that last chapter. She had bottled up her trauma for so long that I thought it was finally time for her to be free of that burden. I am thrilled you liked the way I wrote about Henry's reaction to it all. Despite all the bitterness between them on the show, I like to believe that he still cared for her, and would protect her when she truly needed him. I hope you continue to enjoy this story!

Guest, here you go my dear – an update as you requested. Your wish is my command =) I hope to have the next chapter up much faster than this one, so stay tuned!


	19. Chapter 19

**AN**: Part 2 of the **consummation**! Woot woot! It will be back to politics and backstabbing in the next chapter, so enjoy this for now. I am keeping the M rating for one more chapter. This one is **HOT HOT HOT**, so be careful (especially you LinaOso!) as you proceed.

Spent, Henry collapsed beside her, trying to catch his breath. "You…I…my god! You…you are…just…" He tried to find the words to express his contentment.

(Catherine) "I know." She said, cutting him off with a self-assured laugh.

(Henry) "I don't even…how do you…Brava!"

Giving him a satisfied smile, she climbed out of the bed. With a deep breath, she gloriously twisted her body in a languid stretch. He was completely transfixed by her shapely curves. Henry watched intently as she picked up his unworn nightshirt and slipped it over her body; the cloth slowly slid over her form, teasing him mercilessly. He let out a disappointed groan as it covered her up. Fortunately for him, the shirt was much too large on her; it slid off one shoulder, partially exposing the delicate mound of her breast. The hem of the shirt danced flirtatiously against her milky thigh, barely concealing the treasure between her legs. The golden light from the fire made the light fabric translucent, highlighting her womanly silhouette.

He sat up with a pleased sigh as he keenly watched her amble over the to the open balcony doors. Leaning against the frame, she held her hand out; happy and content, she played with the raindrops. Henry ached to hold her in his arms… he ached to caress her… he ached to kiss her...

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Henry silently observed his betrothed standing at the glass doors in her room – the ones that led to her terrace. Normally, she would have been sitting on the railing outside, enjoying the cool breeze and the quiet serenity of the darkened grounds. Many a night, he had spied her from the garden below unbeknownst to her. Ever since he first spotted her there, he had been drawn back each night, hoping…praying…for just one glimpse of her. And every night, his heart had skipped a beat when he finally saw her visage, magnificently illuminated by the moonlight. How could he – how could anyone – stay away from that radiance?

That night, however, the torrential downpour had caged everyone indoors. But, she was all he could think about – and when he could not control himself any longer, he decided to take the passageways to go to her himself. Henry did not know where he found the courage to creep into her room; he just knew that he had to see her. Perhaps because they had grown so close during their betrothal, he had faith that she wouldn't raise a commotion. Their wedding was still two months away, and the wait had been pure torture – she was the only girl to ever stir such restlessness, such madness in him.

It had already been quite late when he arrived at her chambers. He had expected her to be asleep, although he was ardently hoping that she wasn't. Catherine did not notice him enter through the secret door – she didn't even know that door existed. Believing that she was alone, she hadn't even bothered to throw on a robe over her delicate nightgown. Her amber hair was casually swept over her shoulder in a messy French braid, the loose tendrils framing her face. With a heavy sigh, she extended her arms and contorted her body in an unwinding stretch.

In the midst of her half-turn, Catherine finally noticed him; her eyes widened in surprise. "Hen–Henry!" she exclaimed. "You…You're here?!"

(Henry) "If you want, I can come over there," he responded with a cheeky wink.

(Catherine) "What are you doing here? At this hour?!"

(Henry) "Well…I couldn't sleep. So, I thought you probably couldn't sleep as well. And if you are sleepless, surely you must be thinking about me. I thought why not come here and grace you with my presence," he rambled, not allowing her to get a word in.

(Catherine) "Have you lost your mind? If someone catches you, we'll both be in big trouble!"

Henry sauntered over to her. "I am already in big trouble. You have taken my breath away… and I desperately need it back!"

Catherine rolled her eyes at his brazen flirtation. "So take it and leave," she said with a tickled smirk. "I don't keep anything that belongs to strangers."

(Henry) "Stranger?" he feigned offence. "Have you forgotten that it won't be long till you share your bed with this _stranger_?"

(Catherine) "How can I forget?" She was both demure and bold – exhilarating him with just one amorous look…before averting her eyes.

(Henry) "Listen…I have come here to tell you a secret,"

(Catherine) "What?"

(Henry) "Shhh…it's a secret," he hissed.

She clicked her teeth. "What secret?"

He stepped toward to her, taking her hands in his. Standing before her without uttering a word, he let her anticipation swell.

(Catherine) "What's the secret, Henry?" she prodded impatiently.

(Henry) "I'm here to warn you…Don't fall in love with me! I'm your enemy…" She looked at him puzzleded. "We're on opposing teams at the games tomorrow…I'm your enemy."

(Catherine) "Enemy…" she breathed softly. "No wonder our eyes have been engaged in a fiery battle these many days."

(Henry) "Wow!" he reveled, impressed by her acuity. "You are as astute as you are beautiful…you will be quite the opponent, I am sure."

(Catherine) "And you are as dangerous as you are audacious…I am sure you will put up a valiant fight…before I defeat you."

(Henry) "Touché!"

A sudden clap of thunder broke their attention. "This was bound to happen," he claimed with a hearty laugh, cocking his head toward the rain. "Your smile was so breathtaking tonight that the Heavens are now rejoicing." He boldly inched closer to her; she didn't stop him. He desperately wanted to have her…would she stop him? He shook his head, trying to clear his mind… "So, what do you like more: flowers or sweets?"

(Catherine) "What?!"

(Henry) "I didn't bring you either. I was just asking for general knowledge." She shook her head at him with a little laugh. "Just teasing," he confessed. Reaching behind him, he pulled a rose out of his shirt and presented it to his lady.

Catherine accepted it with a warm smile. "Thank you."

(Henry) "I've brought sweets as well," he said retrieving two truffles from his pocket.

Just as he brought the treat to her lips, a volley of thunderous knocks emanated from the chamber doors. "Caterina! Caterina! It's Sister Teresa."

Catherine panicked, fearful that they had been discovered "Oh God, Henry! Sister Teresa is here. She's going to be furious if she sees you here!"

(Henry) "Fantastic! We should go welcome her." He chuckled as he pretended to move toward the door.

Catherine grabbed his arm and vehemently pulled him back. "Henry! Henry, you have to leave! Go this way. No! Not there! Go this way. Oh wait, there is no exit there! Oh no! Sister Teresa is going to find you. She is going to be so angry! What am I going to do?!" Henry couldn't help but be amused by her agitation.

Sister Teresa hammered at the door again, calling out to her young charge, "Caterina!"

"Coming!" They called out simultaneously, with Henry putting on a high-pitched female voice. Catherine held her hand over his mouth to quiet him.

(Catherine) "Shhhhh! Keep quiet! Just hide somewhere! I'll be right back."

Henry mischievously pulled her closer to him, encircling his arms around her waist and gripping her tightly. "Very well! Let go of me and go to Sister Teresa," he teased her.

(Catherine) "Henry! Let me go!" she chastised pleadingly.

She shoved him away, causing him to lose his balance and fall. The two of them suppressed their giggles as she ran toward the door.

(Sister Teresa) "Caterina! Caterina, why aren't you opening the door? What is that noise coming from your room?"

(Catherine) "It's nothing…someone's cat snuck into my room... and I'm just trying to shoo it away." She called out without opening the door as she struggled to control her laughter.

(Sister Teresa) "Forget the cat and open the door. Your uncle has called for you immediately."

(Catherine) "Alright...uh…you go ahead…I will get dressed and meet you there."

(Sister Teresa) "Very well," she agreed, "but come quickly."

When she turned back toward the room, Henry was no longer in her sight. Believing that he had departed in the same way that he had entered, she began to straighten herself out in the mirror, trying to compose herself once again…when she heard him whistle at her. She found him sprawled on her bed, unashamed and unafraid.

(Catherine) "You are in my bed?" she quizzed incredulously.

(Henry) "Your bed was calling out to me. What else could I do?"

(Catherine) "You are rather brave – risking your father's wrath to come here! Am I really that alluring?"

Henry beamed as he strode over to her. "If I live, it will only be with you…If I die, it will only be for you. I will even take an arrow straight to me heart [he motioned to his chest] from your hand."

Catherine looked at him in pretend wonderment. "Uh oh! You have no hair on your chest."

He fixed his gaze on her maiden bosom, and impishly countered, "Uh oh! Neither do you."

She slapped him playfully to deter his glare. Laughing heartily, she retorted, "Where I come from, they say a man without hair on his chest cannot be trusted."

(Henry) "Then, don't trust me! Just take a leap of faith and marry me right now."

(Catherine) "Marry you? Right now?"

(Henry) "Mhmm."

(Catherine) "Alright. I will. I have been waiting for our wedding day after all."

(Henry) "Wow! You agreed to my proposal rather quickly!"

Catherine's laughter quieted down. "I have already lived my whole life without you. Haven't I waited long enough?" she said with a serene smile.

Henry lightly caressed her cheek with an expectant look in his eyes. "Catherine…"

Before she could respond, the battering on the door returned. "Caterina! What's taking you so long? Hasn't your cat left yet?"

Catherine's eyes filled with a childish fright. "It's…almost gone," she answered, as she tried to herd Henry out of sight.

(Henry) "Meow," he purred with a laugh as he imitated a cat.

(Sister Teresa) "Get rid of it forthwith and come out. Your uncle is waiting for you…Caterina?"

(Catherine) "I'll be there soon!" Once she was certain that Sister Teresa had left, she turned to Henry, and beseeched him, "Leave!"

Henry's calmness countered her anxiety. "First, dance with me."

(Catherine) "Henry, leave before she returns!"

(Henry) "I'm not leaving till you dance with me."

(Catherine) "Henry, there isn't even any music," she huffed.

(Henry) "We can dance to the beats of our hearts." Seeing her hesitate, he persisted, "I've taken a huge risk by coming here to you. And unless you dance with me, I'm not leaving." He slowly backed away from her with a cavalier grin. Keeping his eyes trained on her, he pushed open the balcony doors, and stepped into the rain. "I will stay on your balcony all night waiting for you…and unless you dance with me, I will not leave."

She glanced nervously back toward the doors to her chambers, before walking toward the terrace. Catherine balked at the threshold not wanting to get wet. "Henry, come back inside! Have you gone mad? You are going to catch a cold!"

(Henry) "I'm not moving, till you agree."

(Catherine) "Henry, please."

(Henry) "Yes or no, Catherine?"

(Catherine) "Henry!" she said grudgingly. She gingerly stepped out into the rain, and took his extended hand. He twirled her twice before she broke away. "Happy? You have to leave now. Sister Teresa could return any minute. Go before we are discovered," she urged frantically.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, Henry calmed her gently. "Shhh…shh…" he silenced her, trying to assuage her distress. Removing his jacket, he held it over their heads. Their bodies pressed against each other as they huddled together. Their drenched clothes clung to their bodies; the figure he spied under her nightgown thrilled him to no end. He could feel her warm, slow breath on him; her lips brushed against his skin as her slight fingers clutched his shirt. The world seemed to have frozen as though the raindrops had conspired to bring together…as though the winds sang of some hidden desire.

(Henry) "Catherine…" he whispered; she bashfully lowered her gaze. "All I want is to hold you right now, and _never_ let you go…But I won't…I'll wait…till the night you come to me as my bride… that night the moon and the stars in Heaven will bear witness to our union. And they will carry the legend of our love to every couple that weds after us." As he spoke, he felt her grip tighten on his shirt. "And on that magnificent night, only moonlight will rain upon the most beautiful girl in the world…who by then, would be mine forever…" Catherine circled her arms around him and embraced him tenderly. "Is it true, Catherine, that I am the lucky man to whom you will bequeath your days…and your nights?" She nodded against his chest. "Is it true that I am the lucky man to whom you have given your heart…your soul?" She responded with a slight nod again. "Catherine…tell me that you love me."

Loosening her hold around him, she took a small step back, and slowly met his gaze. "I love you, Henry," she said, softly but surely.

Before their trance was broken, Henry took advantage of the moment… and kissed her tenderly… for the very first time. Overcoming her initial shock, she returned his innocent kiss – pure and true. They enjoyed their momentary closeness – gleeful and tingling from the excitement of their forbidden intimacy – before parting unwillingly. Before he finally slipped out her room, he turned to take one last look at her. "Catherine…I love you…"

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(Henry) "Catherine…" He climbed out of the bed, lazily wrapping a sheet around his waist.

(Catherine) "Hmm?" she responded without so much as a glance toward him.

(Henry) "Catherine…" He attempted to get her attention again.

She turned to him, leaning her back against the wall. Offering him a slight smile, "What?" she questioned.

He had a confident air about him as he approached her. Holding her waist, he stepped closer to her. "I love you," he said, completely enamored by her. He really couldn't say it enough. Perhaps he was trying to make up for the many times he should have said it but didn't…even so, he was chanting those three words more for himself than for her.

(Catherine) "Hmm," she acknowledged with an unconvinced nod, before she brushed him aside and walked toward the fireplace.

Taken aback by her reaction, he eagerly followed her and tried again – more emphatically this time, "Catherine…I _love_ you."

Still smiling, Catherine spun back to him, and shook her head at his pout. "You're only saying that because you want to bed me again…" With a dismissive shrug, she turned toward the warmth again.

(Henry) "No…I mean yes, that too…" He enveloped her in his arms, bringing them cheek-to-cheek. "But, honestly… Every single second… I am either with you, or I am thinking about being with you. I…I just can't escape you. So, it's clear, right? I love you!"

(Catherine) "Good," she approved wryly. Still within his grasp, she moved to face him. "Now, it sounds convincing."

(Henry) "And you?"

Catherine bit the corner of her bottom lip. "Me?" She looked up at him with big, beautiful, hazel eyes filled with false innocence…before they were overcome with a devilish gleam. "I'm just using you for carnal pleasure." She lightly pushed him onto the sofa behind him, and swiftly climbed atop him, straddling him with lusty sigh.

(Henry) "Oh really?" He hugged her tightly, pressing her body against him. The lion in him emerged with a proud smirk. "Well then, you should use me properly."

A passionate fire was ignited in her eyes as she took control. Placing her small hands on his cheeks, she planted kisses all over his face. He felt the heat emanating from her body in his lap, his arousal growing in reaction. He moved his hands down her back, grabbing her bottom firmly. He pawed at her cheeks, spreading her legs further apart, and allowing her to grind harder against him. He moved his hand further down her derriere, sliding it under her and lightly grazing her pillowy lips. His other hand reached for her bosom, fondling her fervently.

Catherine raised herself up on her knees, taking control once again. She forcefully tilted his head back; her lips hovered over his for a moment, before fiercely kissing him. As her tongue feverishly explored his mouth, she pushed her body against him, allowing him to feel the heave of her chest. Henry placed his hands on her legs, sensually massaging the inside of her thighs with his thumbs. The nightshirt she wore gathered around his hands as they slithered up her body. He firmly cupped her buttocks as he returned her kiss. While one hand continued to hold her backside, the other slid up to her waist, and then snaked down her stomach to the cleft between her legs. He gently stroked her lush folds, compelling her to moan deeply against his mouth as her cavern slickened. Her breath became increasingly labored. She bucked against his fingers as her agitation grew.

Henry clutched her against him, and inserted two fingers in her. He began to pump harder into her while simultaneously pleasuring her clit. Gripping his shoulder in ecstasy, Catherine marked him with her nails as her moans intensified. He took the moment to capture her nipple in his mouth, sucking and nibbling at her through the fabric of the nightshirt; they hardened as his tongue drew circles around her rosy peaks. Her body curved as she melted under his gratifying touch. Henry tightened his embrace as she wriggled and squirmed in his lap. His vigorous movements sent her into rapture, her white heat erupting onto him. Waves and waves of delight washed over her at his exquisite caress.

"Henry!" Catherine commanded, struggling to catch her breath. She firmly pushed him back against the sofa. Her scorching gaze bore into him as she slowly pulled his nightshirt over her head, tantalizing him while she undressed. With a ferocious glint in her eye, Catherine lowered herself onto his erect manhood. She clutched the back of the sofa to steady herself, pausing to savor her power over him. Growling in Italian, she rocked against his lap, eliciting an aroused, guttural groan from him. As she bounced atop him, he nipped at her furiously, his hands running over every inch of her delicious form. Wanting to prolong their elation, he strained to control himself.

"Catherine" he directed; grasping her side, he halted her movement. Guiding her off him, he lifted them both up. She wrapped her legs around him as he carried her to the table by the fire. Setting her down, Henry gently pushed her onto her back, his hand gliding over her figure – through the valley between her bosom and over her middle. Her pink lips were wet and engorged, inviting him to her. Firmly holding her hips, he thrust into her vehemently. She gasped his name, urging him to push harder, deeper, faster into her. She was on edge – her body painfully aroused and begging for release. Unwilling to await her satisfaction, she ran her fingers over her inflamed skin. Henry's excitement grew as he observed her squeeze and tug at her breasts. He watched as she bit her lip and clenched her eyes shut, throwing her head back; her back arched as her desires intensified. While one hand continued to paw at her breasts, she brought the other to her womanhood, pleasuring herself as he continued to drive into her. She massaged her clitoris furiously, moaning loudly and spewing unmentionable exclamations in Italian. Henry was driven to the brink by her euphoria. He felt her body suddenly tense; her muscles clamped around his shaft as she succumbed to her sweet release. Before she descended, he plunged into her again, more energetically. Her tightness and heat took him to new levels of glory. With a final thrust, he climaxed, spilling his seed into her.

(Henry) "See…I told you," he gloated with a haughty smirk. "Sexual prowess of a lion..."

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demedicigirl, I'm glad you liked the letters! I got the idea from a Tumblr post I saw a while ago about Henry writing a "Thou art the warship on my dreams" poem for Catherine when he called her a "galleon in full sail" (side note: 1X14 was an amazing episode!). Since you liked the last chapter, I hope you loved this one! The M scenes are so fun to write.

LinaOso, Ah, girl! You caught me! I love that you picked up that little tidbit about their first kiss in the last chapter. I wanted to allude to it before writing about it. I hope you like what I did with it in this chapter. I also hope you this chapter didn't drive you completely crazy!

Catherine Woods, Thanks so much for your support, hun! Chapter 17 was a tough one to write. I assure there will be a lot more happiness coming up to put your heart back together!


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